August 2010 Weddings
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Baby Shower Advice

Hey ladies! So I work for a pretty small company. There are only about 30 people in my building and although we know who everyone is there are a bunch of people that I've never really spoken to (maybe just a "hi" when I pass by them"). So a girl that I've barely ever talked with from another department is pregnant and her department is throwing a surprise whole-building baby shower for her and everyone has to go. We do a birthday celebration every month for that months' birthdays and everyone has to go to that so I know I can't just sit at my desk instead of going to this shower. My big question is, do I have to get my co-worker a gift? I wouldn't have a problem getting her anything if money wasn't so tight for my husband and I right now. Even a small thing might be unmanageable right now. I don't want to be the only person to not get her something and there aren't any gifts that I can go in on with anyone else. I feel bad, but I also feel like I've been put in a bad position. What do you all think I should do? Would just a card be rude? Thanks!!!

Re: Baby Shower Advice

  • Wow that is a weird position to be in...  I think it's kind of weird that everyone pretty much HAS to go.  It is also surprising that someone hasn't though about starting a "pot" for people to put money into so that the money can go for something bigger.  Maybe you could start one.  Just make an envelope and pass it around and ask people to give what they can, even if it's a few bucks I bet you could get enough to get something cute.  Or if not, a suggestion I have would be to go to Walmart.  They have some really cute onesies that have some cute saying on them for $3.  That's the cost of a card.  I've gotten a few and my favorites are "Mommy + Daddy = Me" and "Born in 2011".  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thank you for the advice! I know, isn't it such a strange, uncomfortable position to be in? My company definitely expects weird things sometimes. I think it's too late to try to get people to chip in for anything, but I will definitely check out Walmart. Thanks!!
  • Ric, I understand money being super tight, so listen:  please please please don't feel like you must get this girl something. 

    DH works for a major Fortune 500 company, but departments are pretty much their own entities, so he works with about 30-ish people and half he doesn't ever speak to because there's no need for interaction.  While they never have forced birthday/wedding/baby showers, DH still goes to the parties.  But we only give gifts if the coworker is one that he has daily interactions with.  The rest of the time, we either sign a card or give nothing at all and feel no shame. 

    Just thinking back to our wedding, we received cards (no money/gifts attached) from the far outreaches of DH's extended family.  And that was perfectly okay, since we don't know those people well. 

     


    image
    Do the creep.
  • Thank you so much louieblue! Putting it that way, DH and I definitely received cards from people who we weren't very close to for the wedding and that was totally okay. Thank you for all your help! I missed you guys!!
  • imagehinmighty:
    Wow that is a weird position to be in...  I think it's kind of weird that everyone pretty much HAS to go.  It is also surprising that someone hasn't though about starting a "pot" for people to put money into so that the money can go for something bigger.  Maybe you could start one.  Just make an envelope and pass it around and ask people to give what they can, even if it's a few bucks I bet you could get enough to get something cute.  Or if not, a suggestion I have would be to go to Walmart.  They have some really cute onesies that have some cute saying on them for $3.  That's the cost of a card.  I've gotten a few and my favorites are "Mommy + Daddy = Me" and "Born in 2011".  

    Agreed! This was the first thing that popped into my mind as I was reading your OP...we do this a tonne where I work...I was invited to a shower back in March which sort of felt like the same thing...I barely know her/chat with her superficially.  But I just added some cash (what I could) to the 'kittie' and then we were able to get her some nice gifts from her registry...a little from a lot of people can go a long way!

    Good luck! Sounds like you might need it to get through the event!

  • Thank you for the advice! Yes, I'm just glad it's at the end of a Friday work day so I can just go home afterwards!
  • That is an uncomfortable position to be in.  I would say that since you don't really know her, a "heartfelt" note in a card (as heartfelt as it can get considering you don't really know her) would be fine.  If I were her, that wouldn't offend me in the least.  But here's a cute idea that I've seen done: you could pick up a cute notebook from somewhere, one of those half-sized ones with a cute design, and pass it around the shower for all of the guests to write advice for her inside.  It's a cheap, unique gift that is personal and helpful for the future mother.
  • That is such an adorable idea! I love gifts like that. Thank you!!
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