August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

I'm a terrible sister

So my brother dropped the we're pregnant bomb on me today. yes the brother that just got married. I pretended to be happy congratulated him, texted his wife the same.

I'm not happy at all. I'm heartbroken. I'm angry (not at them at the situation). I feel like a horrible sister, but I can't help how I feel. 

No real point to this post, but I just needed to vent. 

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: I'm a terrible sister

  • It doesn't make you a terrible sister.  You can't help how you feel.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • You're not a terrible person for having these feelings, Mo. You can't help that things have been really sucky for you anymore than your brother can help his wife being pregnant. It's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault.

    I don't think being angry that life isn't fair makes you a bad sister. 'Cause really, we all know what an amazing heart you have.

  • You're definitely not a terrible person or sister. You're amazing! Sorry to hear you're feeling sad, though.

  • You're not a terrible person. You can't help how you feel and I'm sure that you will be happy for them in the future and you will love your niece or nephew.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagekaesha:

    You're not a terrible person for having these feelings, Mo. You can't help that things have been really sucky for you anymore than your brother can help his wife being pregnant. It's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault.

    I don't think being angry that life isn't fair makes you a bad sister. 'Cause really, we all know what an amazing heart you have.

    I couldn't say it any better!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • You are not a terrible sister. You have every right to feel the way you do.
    Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App
  • imagekaesha:

    You're not a terrible person for having these feelings, Mo. You can't help that things have been really sucky for you anymore than your brother can help his wife being pregnant. It's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault.

    I don't think being angry that life isn't fair makes you a bad sister. 'Cause really, we all know what an amazing heart you have.

    This. You are one of the strongest women I know. I'm sure you're brother wasn't trying to hurt you. We love you and are here for you. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • imagekaesha:

    You're not a terrible person for having these feelings, Mo. You can't help that things have been really sucky for you anymore than your brother can help his wife being pregnant. It's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault.

    I don't think being angry that life isn't fair makes you a bad sister. 'Cause really, we all know what an amazing heart you have.

    This.  You are a wonderful person.  Big hugs.

    image
    Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Ditto what everyone else said. You're amazing, don't ever think for a second that you're not.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagekarimychel:
    imagekaesha:

    You're not a terrible person for having these feelings, Mo. You can't help that things have been really sucky for you anymore than your brother can help his wife being pregnant. It's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault.

    I don't think being angry that life isn't fair makes you a bad sister. 'Cause really, we all know what an amazing heart you have.

    This. You are one of the strongest women I know. I'm sure you're brother wasn't trying to hurt you. We love you and are here for you. 

    All of this.  You are amazing MO and a GREAT sister.  You have EVERY right to feel the way you do.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • raynesraynes member
    imagekatsblaze:
    imagekarimychel:
    imagekaesha:

    You're not a terrible person for having these feelings, Mo. You can't help that things have been really sucky for you anymore than your brother can help his wife being pregnant. It's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault.

    I don't think being angry that life isn't fair makes you a bad sister. 'Cause really, we all know what an amazing heart you have.

    This. You are one of the strongest women I know. I'm sure you're brother wasn't trying to hurt you. We love you and are here for you. 

    Ditto ditto ditto all of the above.  ((hug))

    All of this.  You are amazing MO and a GREAT sister.  You have EVERY right to feel the way you do.

    image
    We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thanks Ladies. I'm still pretty bummed. I didn't get much sleep, and I feel like crap.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I just thought of this Mo... would it help to try to differentiate between not being happy for them and being sad for yourself? Because, there's a difference, and I think it's an important one.

    The former would have your feelings stemming from the fact that you'd want those around you to feel what you've felt. And I know you wouldn't want anyone to suffer the same losses you have. You're far too good a person for that.

    The latter means that your feelings are coming from a place of mourning for what you haven't been able to have yet. There's nothing malicious there.You're not wishing ill on others just because you're not over the moon. It's okay to be sad for yourself.

    I think what really shows your character is that you put on a brave face and acted happy - that's love for your family right there. And that's what I mean when I say you have a good heart. So, don't beat yourself up over feeling the way you do.

  • MO, ditto to everything kaesha said in both of her posts. We're designed to feel everything times a million--and that's okay. It's no one's fault, and any emotionally healthy human being who walked in your shoes would feel what you're feeling today. You're not a bad sister at all. I'd say you're a great one for letting them know you're there for them even as you're hurting. Hugs to you!

    image
  • imagekaesha:

    I just thought of this Mo... would it help to try to differentiate between not being happy for them and being sad for yourself? Because, there's a difference, and I think it's an important one.

    The former would have your feelings stemming from the fact that you'd want those around you to feel what you've felt. And I know you wouldn't want anyone to suffer the same losses you have. You're far too good a person for that.

    The latter means that your feelings are coming from a place of mourning for what you haven't been able to have yet. There's nothing malicious there.You're not wishing ill on others just because you're not over the moon. It's okay to be sad for yourself.

    I think what really shows your character is that you put on a brave face and acted happy - that's love for your family right there. And that's what I mean when I say you have a good heart. So, don't beat yourself up over feeling the way you do.

    Thanks Kaesha. This makes me feel better. No wonder that student kept coming to you :)

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagekaesha:

    You're not a terrible person for having these feelings, Mo. You can't help that things have been really sucky for you anymore than your brother can help his wife being pregnant. It's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault.

    I don't think being angry that life isn't fair makes you a bad sister. 'Cause really, we all know what an amazing heart you have.

    Kaesha said this perfectly.  You're not a bad sister.  You have every right to be furious at the universe.  I am sure once you take some time to process this news that you will be able to be genuinely happy for them.  In the meantime, vent away here, because we all love you.

    My Life in D.C.
    The Daily Nugget

    mom and me
    Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
    Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
    Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
    Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
    DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
    Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
    10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagekaesha:

    I just thought of this Mo... would it help to try to differentiate between not being happy for them and being sad for yourself? Because, there's a difference, and I think it's an important one.

    The former would have your feelings stemming from the fact that you'd want those around you to feel what you've felt. And I know you wouldn't want anyone to suffer the same losses you have. You're far too good a person for that.

    The latter means that your feelings are coming from a place of mourning for what you haven't been able to have yet. There's nothing malicious there.You're not wishing ill on others just because you're not over the moon. It's okay to be sad for yourself.

    I think what really shows your character is that you put on a brave face and acted happy - that's love for your family right there. And that's what I mean when I say you have a good heart. So, don't beat yourself up over feeling the way you do.

    kaesha has such a way with words. I think both of her posts say it perfectly. I think that your feelings are perfectly normal after what you have been through this year. ((hugs))

  • I'm so sorry, MO.  You're not a terrible person or sister to feel that way. 
    imageFollow Me on Pinterest
  • imagefuturemrsofficer:
    imagekaesha:

    I just thought of this Mo... would it help to try to differentiate between not being happy for them and being sad for yourself? Because, there's a difference, and I think it's an important one.

    The former would have your feelings stemming from the fact that you'd want those around you to feel what you've felt. And I know you wouldn't want anyone to suffer the same losses you have. You're far too good a person for that.

    The latter means that your feelings are coming from a place of mourning for what you haven't been able to have yet. There's nothing malicious there.You're not wishing ill on others just because you're not over the moon. It's okay to be sad for yourself.

    I think what really shows your character is that you put on a brave face and acted happy - that's love for your family right there. And that's what I mean when I say you have a good heart. So, don't beat yourself up over feeling the way you do.

    Thanks Kaesha. This makes me feel better. No wonder that student kept coming to you :)

    Stick out tongue  I try! I dunno, sometimes (not always) it works for me to isolate why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Being able to take that (tiny) step back makes me feel like I have a little bit of control. And, I like control.

    I just hate to see you feel badly about yourself when you shouldn't!

  • imagekaesha:

    I just thought of this Mo... would it help to try to differentiate between not being happy for them and being sad for yourself? Because, there's a difference, and I think it's an important one.

    The former would have your feelings stemming from the fact that you'd want those around you to feel what you've felt. And I know you wouldn't want anyone to suffer the same losses you have. You're far too good a person for that.

    The latter means that your feelings are coming from a place of mourning for what you haven't been able to have yet. There's nothing malicious there.You're not wishing ill on others just because you're not over the moon. It's okay to be sad for yourself.

    I think what really shows your character is that you put on a brave face and acted happy - that's love for your family right there. And that's what I mean when I say you have a good heart. So, don't beat yourself up over feeling the way you do.

    This says it perfectly. You need to take it easy on yourself (way easier said than done I know) but you are a wonderful person and I know that your brother and SIL know this. You are allowed to be happy for them but still feel sad about the things that have happened to you. You have a right to feel your own feelings.

    Hayden Ellen 12/30/11 imageThe Plan The Dream
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards