Dallas-Fort Worth Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
A mother doesn't like her child...
I saw this on MSN today, and it literally had me in tears. I will never, ever understand this.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43338319#43338319
Thoughts?
Re: A mother doesn't like her child...
And from the very first moment she started talking about her child, I thought something may have been wrong with the baby. So sad to me that she just wrote it off as "that's just the child".
It breaks my heart.
Bio
Um... so I'm not a parent and certainly not an expert....BUT..
Doesn't a baby feed from the feelings/emotions/closeness/parenting of the parent? If the poor kid really isn't social or confident it might be because she had a lack of a connection with her mother so early in life!
The child had a development problem.. she was finally diagnosed at 7. First thing I thought (lack of socialism, lack of eye contact) was that maybe she was autistic. It makes me so sad/mad that the Mom just wrote her off.
Bio
When she first started talking about her daughter being socially awkward, I was ready to yell "Why didn't you take her to the doctor????" It could have been an early sign of autism spectrum, it could have been anything. Children are fairly social.
Since when is a baby supposed to be like clockwork and a cookie cutter of every manual you've ever read? It sounds to me as if the mom could have used some help after her pregnancy.
Bio Good Times
I'm probably going to have an unpopular opinion here, but I think it was brave of her to come out with her story.
I also found it interesting that in the survey taken, 77% of people said they sometimes feel as if they always love their child, but don't always like them.
Very interesting. So, it's clear that she's not alone in feeling this way about her child.
3% of people in the survey said they don't like their children, "we just don't get along."
I feel bad for that child of course. It's very sad.
But I think she's right in the sense that people, or society, put all these expectations on mothers and what they're "supposed" to feel when they become a mother, and the bond that's supposed to be there, and how they're "supposed" to act. Well, what if you just don't feel that way? Are you supposed to fake it? Are you wrong for not feeling it?
Just playing devil's advocate here.
I'd be willing to say that everyone (not just parent/child) relationships feel like they don't "like" each other, but they love each other at one point. In fact, there are times that I don't necessarily like my DH, but I still love him.
With that said, I have NEVER felt like he fails at everything, he's a failure as a man, and he's behind everyone in every way.
With Cadence, if I had the slightest notion that something was wrong, or she was behind, or not developing, I would be at the doctor in an instant.
While I do think that she's brave for coming forward, I am still very saddened by her story and her seemingly lack of compassion for her own child, especially considering she had another child (after she already felt so disconnected to the first... I can't understand why she would do that in the first place), and yet had all of those "maternal" feelings towards the 2nd.
Bio
See, I didn't understand if she felt that her child's slow development was the child's problem, or if she felt that as a mother it was something wrong with herself emotionally/mentally and that's why she felt everything the child did was a disappointment.
I couldn't tell if she was blaming the child, or herself. Because she said she felt really guilty for feeling that way, which leads me to believe she realized something was wrong within herself for having those feelings.
The whole thing is strange, especially since she felt completely differently about her second child.
Bio
Yeah, that's odd.
I want to know her husband's view on everything.
The fact that she had all these preconceived notions of what her child's personality would be like before she was born is strange to me.
And when her child was completely opposite of that, she was disappointed.
What I still don't get was that she saw that her child wasn't hitting these "standards" (even more proof that just because you read a book about it doesn't make you a parent), but she just seemed to let it go with her kid. I'd be in my doctor's office asking questions. It's almost like she's one of my students: well, I just couldn't get it so I'll wait until the day before the exam before I come asking for help.
I will give her props for seeking help but what the heck took her so long for the sake of her child? And, I'll be honest, if I'm that dad, I'm looking my kid over every time I come home from work. Just sayin'.