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He won't touch me :'(
I'll try and make this short but it's a long story.
My husband and i have been together for 3 years. Since the day I meet him he has always wanted to be a dad and he has waited patiently for me to be ready. We were having sex about 2-3 times a week before he got a new job last summer. His new job required him to be gone about a month and home for 3 days. It was horrible. The days he was home, all we did was have sex, we were naked 24/7. Then I found out I was pregnant last December. We found out together when he was home and the only time we had sex that weekend was right before we found out. He was able to change his work where he is now home almost every night. I can understand the shock of everything and needing time to think and being distracted. Between the time we found out and about my 18th week of pregnancy we maybe had sex 5 to 6 times. We have not had sex since my my 18th week. I am now 28 weeks. I don't understand it. He was the one wanting to have kids way before me and now it feels like I have a deadly disease and he doesn't want to catch it or something. I am a very insecure person to begin with and being pregnant has made it that much worse. I feel sooo horrible about myself and disgusting. I won't even get undressed in front of him anymore because of his actions when I had. The last time we had sex I was giving him aural because by this time he had told me he was scared he was going to cause more complications. (I am pregnant with twins and at 14 weeks along I had some spotting but nothing dangerous.) So I figured aural sex wouldn't hurt, I was still trying. When i toke my pants off he got soft and that was the end of that. I felt so horrible that I ran to the bathroom bawling because I know its because of me. He won't touch me at all down there now. And my boobs are HUGE and he won't even touch them. I was feeling so attractive because i hadn't really started to show and my curves were in perfect proportion finally.... and then he didn't want me anymore. I've told him how I feel and all he say's is it's all him, not me. But I have a hard time believing it. He isn't attracted to me anymore. I've caught him countless times looking at porn and jacking off, and I try to be intimate and try to give him aural, but he doesn't want it. You can only take rejection so many times. To be rejected by your husband over and over again because your body is changing because of something he helped create is heart braking. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm stressed out over it, I cry about it every damn day. I don't understand his thinking. I've felt horrible about this whole pregnancy because of it. I hate being pregnant. This is the time I need him the most, and I feel like I have lost him. Trying to prepare for twins, dealing with quiting my job, him changing jobs, my body changing, and soooo much more, I don't know what to do.
How do I get him to want me? Should I even keep trying sexually with him right now? Why doesn't he seem interested in me anymore? Why won't he touch me? HELP PLEASE!!!! :'(
Re: He won't touch me :'(
This is common --- lots of men are scared to have sex during pregnancy: they think they might poke the fetus, it might be uncomfortable for you and a bunch of other reason.
And not every man is a breast man. If you think he likes huge boobs and that'll entice him sexually, nope. It has nothing to do with this.
And again: this is a pregnancy and guy thing. Ask your doc. Like I said, this is common.
My guess also is that he won't be in the mood for sex for the rest of your pregnancy. Again, this is a guy thing.
Honey, it is spelled "oral" not aural. Aural has to do with hearing and the ears.
He wants kids but he is wigged out by having sex with a pregnant woman. It is a common reaction. It may not be something he can get over, so you just may be without sex until after birth.
Maybe she's wishing sweet nothings into his ear, hence the aural sex.
....poke the fetus??? If "lots of men" are really concerned about this they need to be taking more anatomy/sex ed classes
To be true, it's pretty common yea.. men don't really understand how our body works, and for some of them, pregnancy its something so sacred that having sex its almost like killing it. They do need anatomy classes. OP, do not feel this way, it's not really you.. it's him, some men are scared of this, he does not want to hurt you, or hurt the fetus, (wrong idea, I know).. it's his way to react to this, maybe talking REAL serious with him? Good luck with this and the babies.
My husband was sort of similar. My baby was a very vigorous kicker, and by 18 weeks you could easily feel him kicking by putting a hand on my belly. So we had sex once at about that time, and my husband was lying on top of me, and felt the baby kick through my belly. It freaked him out and he didn't really want to have sex for the rest of the pregnancy after that. Which was fine by me, actually, because I had ZERO sex drive my entire pregnancy.
I hate to say this, but some dudes just don't find pregnant women attractive. If that's the case, then yes, it sucks, but hopefully will no longer be an issue after the baby's born.