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Sometimes I hate being the family nurse
This is a post and run because I'm working overtime today (woot) but I need to get this off my chest. My great aunt (grandma's sister, and about the only person who my mom ever truly loved and got along with) is in the hospital. She was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer yesterday, she has fluid in her belly and lungs, and they're concerned about spots on her liver, lung, spine and other places.
The only info I'm getting about this is from my aunt (mom's sister) who solely communicates through Facebook message. She keeps telling me what's going on and asking my advice, which I'm trying not to give, because I don't have all the info. From what little she's told me, it doesn't sound good. Initially they were going to do chemo, now she writes and says they won't do chemo because it's too dangerous. My great aunt is in her 80s, and if she really has all of those problems, I'm not thinking any treatment other than palliative care is going to be a reasonable option for her, but I don't know how to tell my aunt that.
I finally asked if I could have the hospital phone number so I can call my great aunt and say hello, and, if she agrees, talk to the nurse/doctor so I can better prepare my aunt for what I'm pretty sure is going to be a terminal diagnosis. Needless to say it's been a very rough year in my mom's side of the family, and I want to be able to provide them with some comfort, but at the same time, I know if I weren't a nurse, there wouldn't be so much pressure placed on me to provide her with hope that I'm pretty sure isn't there.
If anyone can spare any T&Ps for my great aunt Sandi and the rest of my mom's family, I'd really appreciate it.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
Re: Sometimes I hate being the family nurse
So sorry about your great aunt. The poor thing.
I think it's good you're going to try to call the hospital directly to get the info. And I know it's hard to be in the position of the "family medical professional" but if it is truly bad news coming, I think your aunt knows that, in her heart. She may just want/need you to put it in layman's terms. It can be overwhelming to take in all that information and keep the facts straight when a loved one is in the hospital and you're still grappling with the emotional aspect of it.
I know it's not an easy spot for you to be in either. But it might be easier for her to hear it coming from you versus a doctor she doesn't know.
Again, so sorry.