September 2010 Weddings
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Am I a bad wife?

I feel completely baffled by this. I am so conflicted, and I have no idea what to do. DH's great-aunt died early this week. Her funeral is Monday at noon, and it is up north (at least 4 hours away). DH is going up there Sunday after we drop off SD, and staying up there for all of Monday and coming back either in the middle of the night or Tuesday morning.

He told me not to worry about coming because I have to tickets to Glee Live and I've already paid for them and he knows how much I'm looking forward to the concert.

I'm almost too embarrassed to even say that. DH was close with her when he was little, she was like another grandmother to him. He was pretty upset about her passing, and I feel like a terrible wife for not being there with him to support him, especially for something as stupid as concert tickets.

My BFF and I are going, but if I talked to her about this, I bet she'd be able to get her little sister to go with her and I wouldn't have to worry about the tickets.

WDYT? WWYD? Help!!

Me: 26 DH: 32
TTC since 08/2010
Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
Dx PCOS 3/2012
SA 5/25/12--normal
June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI

Re: Am I a bad wife?

  • This is a toughy.

    But if I were in his shoes, I would really appreciate you being there for me. In the super duper long view of things, it will probably be more important that you were there for him during such a tough time then the Glee concert.

     

  • That's how I feel about it. I really feel like I need to be there for him and 20 years down the road I'll probably still regret going to the concert when I should have been there for my husband. And if I had to go to a funeral and DH had expensive tickets for something, I would tell him to go to his thing, but I would really want him to get rid of the tickets somehow and come with me.
    Me: 26 DH: 32
    TTC since 08/2010
    Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
    Dx PCOS 3/2012
    SA 5/25/12--normal
    June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
    July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
    August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
  • That is a really tough decision, but I agree with Kaz.  I'm not sure I'd really have that good of a time at the Glee concert anyway b/c I'd be thinking of H the whole time.

    Vacation

    Vacation
  • Dats, I totally get how you feel. Especially when you've been looking forward to the concert for so long. But you should be happy that you married such a caring man that is so selfless that he wants you to still go to the concert. And he's lucky too, to have a wife who puts her wants aside and understands that it's good to be by her husbands side when he needs her most. 

     

    PS 

    I think you're a good wife! 

  • You're not a bad wife. Part of marriage and relationships I have learned is giving up what you want/need for what your spouse wants/needs. Not all the time but in this case I would skip the concert. Sucks you'll miss it but he needs you during this. Chin up!
  • Just to follow up, I gave my ticket to my BFF's sister, and she bought me a souvenir as a thank you. We went up north for the funeral, we left Sunday evening and got home today at noon. We had a nice visit with DH's family. DH won't admit it, but I think he is really glad that I went with him. He tried to teach me to skip rocks, which did not go well, and I walked on railroad tracks for the first time.
    Me: 26 DH: 32
    TTC since 08/2010
    Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
    Dx PCOS 3/2012
    SA 5/25/12--normal
    June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
    July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
    August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
  • good for you Dats.  I think you made the right decision.

    :D 

    image
    TTC since 2010
    Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
    DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
    BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
    IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
    Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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