August 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
for those not TTC
Our board has been filled with lots of new babies lately. I wanted to see how those who are not TTC are doing. DH and I are not planning on having kids and I know that there are others on the board who are not trying now or ever. Are you getting the, "So when are you having kids?" questions. Most of the people around us know that we aren't planning on them, but I still get frequent questions from strangers.
Somehow people hear that you are a newlywed and just assume that you are trying. Anyone else who is not TTC dealing with this?
my read shelf:
Re: for those not TTC
Yeah, I want to talk about non-baby related stuff! That's what TN is for! And besides, I'm sure not every 8/10 girl wants to be subjected to all things pregnancy. Some might be trying now and have been unsuccessful or are suffering from IF. As if they want to see posts about babies on here too. I love hearing when one of us is pregnant, but that's the extent of my interest.
DH and I have gone back and forth about having babies NOW, but we've decided to wait. I didn't know if we were really sold on either idea - being it now or later. We absolutely want children but like ric, we're not in a permanent home and that thing about not being able to afford kids? Yeah, we REALLY can't afford a kid right now. I don't work and am in school and DH works full-time. These are choices we are making. I've just recently decided to go back into the art program at my college and am so excited about that.
DH and I talked about whether we wanted to begin trying, but when I really thought about it, would I regret more not starting sooner or not finishing up a degree I really want? It was totally the degree. It would give me the sads if I didn't finish. I'm only 23, so I'm looking towards 26/27 before we begin trying.
And no personal questions for us. People are very aware that I'm still in school and most of my friends are my age, recently married, and loving not being tied down by a child to take care of.
Do the creep.
Thanks for starting a post that isn't baby related. Although I'm very happy for all of you ladies who are starting families right now, DH and I are not even close, and I've been finding it sort of boring on this board for me since I can't relate to those of you carrying little bundles of joy at the moment.
DH and I are not even planning to think about children for at least 5 years. He wants to have our first by the time he's 30, which would mean that we have about 5 years until we need to think about kids. I'm totally okay with being a mom at 28 or 29, so we're not going to think about it until about 5 years from now. If something happens, it happens, but I am not in any way ready for that right now. I like living my life and being able to just go out with DH or friends when I want. We have a dog, and he's enough for now.
We do get the questions, though. I want to scream, "Hello!? I'm 23 and we haven't even been married for a year yet! I want some time for us! Back off!" Instead, I tend to laugh uncomfortably and reply, "Talk to me in 5 years."
aweilba, I could have writen your post! I'm 22 and so not ready for kids now. I still need to finish school and then DH need to go back to school for several more years. We are also thinking when DH is 30, he's 24 now, so in 6 years well see where we are.
I love it just being me and DH in the house. I rather enjoy watching a movie, walking around the house without a shirt/pants on, and having loud sex! haha! I'm okay with waiting a while.
Our families are mostly on board. My mom was 32 when she had me so she thinks we should enjoy our 20s. DH mom however is antsy for grandkids. Since she had DH when she was 19. But the story on DH upbringing is for another post! yikes!
Thank you for starting this thread.
I am not clucky at all, can't even relate to my baby nieces and got in big trouble for not wanting DH's nephews at our wedding.
I am the far end of the scale, the 'no babies Ever' scale, and it is tough, people view me as heartless, which is not the case at all, I am just missing the 'I want a baby' gene. My sister and cousin are the same. Although my sisters husband wanted kids so she had them, but is still not that happy about it. Tells me all the time not to have any!
Possibly because we are a bit older, both being 30, not that many people ask us, they tend to imply. We don't get the 'are you going to have kids' questions, but the 'when you have kids' statement. We are considering making our decision permanent (snip snip), but know that will bring a lot of backlash if it ever went public.
There is a lot we want to accomplish in life.
We're definitely on the "no baby" train. We don't plan on ever having them, although I'm well aware of the fact that we could potentially change our minds about that. For now, we have pets. They're plenty of work for us. We have debt to pay off and we want to buy a house and have adventures.
Sometimes we get the baby question, or people just assume we want them eventually. The important people know our plans, so it's fine.
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This exactly... DH and I would love to start trying... I am 30 and he is 28. We cannot start trying for another 3-6 months because of the radiation treatments he had in November due to his Testicular Cancer he was diagnosed with 10 days before we got married. Even then we will probably be unsuccessful and have to go through IVF. I used to come to this site to remind myself of the fun Newlyweds have without TTC. I enjoy the crazy stories about In Laws and friends and vacations. Recently, it has been a constant reminder of what we are missing out on.
I've mostly been lurking lately and not posting because all the chitchat is about TTC and DH and I made a deal that we were going to wait at least 2 years. He has no problem with that as I think he would be fine never having kids, and right now the more time I spend with my nieces and nephews, the more I'm willing to wait!
Right now we own a house that DH bought as a bachelor but I do not want to have kids in, we are currently trying to sell our house and find a new one which is a big goal for us, it's something we talk about all the time!
I am glad I was able to start a positive thread. Although I am excited for all the girls who are PG, I am glad to hear about all the rest of us. I think that we are great women even though we have decided to either not have kids at all or are just waiting. It is such an individual story, but we often get lumped into some weird category.
I am 34 and DH is 35. We just feel too settled in our lives to give it up. My biggest issue is being called "selfish" for that decision. I say, "whatever." Because we are older most of our friends already have kids so we are surrounded by them all the time. It has just become the "norm" in our lives. However, I consider going out with people w/ kids the best form of birth control I can think of. And this is coming from someone who taught middle school for 8 years!
So...for all of us, keep enjoying life! Glad to hear from everyone.
We are not ttc for at least 5-10 years (I know it's a huge difference between 5 and 10, but I'm only 25 and we're going to re-evaluate when I'm 30).
We want a chance to travel, and I want to get my masters, and LC and LEED certifications. Plus we want to have time to ourselves before we have to share it with a kid. I'm so happy with our lives right now!
Last weekend I had a housewarming party and my neighbors brought over their 6month old, and my grandma managed to get her hands on it and carried it around saying how much she wanted great-grandchildren. crazycakes.
71 workouts completed in 2012
Yeah!!! Not TTC here either. Just wanted to say that wanting to experience a life for yourself before having kids not selfish IMO, it's wise. When you do have kids, you want to be sure your kids become your focus. And you can't focus on them when you're wishing you were somewhere else; travelling, furthering your education or career, or whatever.
DH is 30, I'm 27 in a few weeks...and we just bought our first house and adopted two kittens this past weekend. We're set for a while I expect. Just enjoying our friends all getting hitched frankly. And being young newlyweds together.
We'll have them in the future, but right now, I have zero urges for motherhood. I like my freedom.
And it's mostly strangers who ask me about kids when they find out I'm a newlywed, but then they quickly follow their own question with, "But you're still so young and have so much time!"