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Panic Attacks
My brother suffers from anxiety and a few other things. He had his first panic attack about 10 years ago. He is on medicine to control them, and I'm actually not sure how many attacks he has had since he started the medication (my family doesn't share much about this kind of thing), but I am pretty sure they can be counted on one hand.
He is going through a rough time right now, and he called me the other day and told me he was having a panic attack, and that I needed to "tell him everything was going to be okay." I don't know much about these attacks, but my brother sounds very calm when he is having one. He called me, sounded completely normal and relaxed on the phone, and said that I just needed to distract him. He doesn't freak out physically, or try to harm himself or others. He was just sitting on the couch when he called me. He just said his mind was "racing," and he "couldn't stop thinking about stuff."
So I talked to my dad later, and my dad said that the only bad attack he knew of in the past, my brother was just kind of paralyzed. He was in the car on a long-ish drive, and he just... couldn't do anything. He was sitting still in his parked car, just not really doing anything. Not breathing heavily or freaking out. Just calmly sitting. I don't really understand it.
Anyway, my question is, if my brother calls me again when he is having an attack, what am I supposed to say to him? I ended up telling him to turn on the news or the weather channel and have a glass of water, and I told him about what I did over the weekend, and I just kind of talked. I had no idea what to say, or what would be most helpful to say? I have no idea if what I said to him was helpful.
Re: Panic Attacks
I think this is a question you should ask him.
"Hey brother, I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to call me the other day when you were having the panic attack, and want you to know that I am always here for you. I just wanted to check to see if what I said helped, or if there are other things I should say that would be better in case something similar happens in the future?"
Also, I would encourage him to make sure his doctor knows about the panic attack.
I have had panic attacks before. And the way you handled it was fine.
Just keep calm talking to him. Talk about things that are small talk.... nothing too Big Deal... talk about things he enjoyed growing up. Things that you 2 might have done together that were fun. But to me.... it sounds like you did a good job.
A lot of the time when a panic attack comes on for me... which I have not had one in awhile... it is important to me that I am not alone. So you just talking and being on the line with him is really what he needs.
There are therapist that specialize in anxiety disorders.... and they teach you in the sessions different techniques of how to control them and what to do to help calm yourself down. This helped me tremendously. You could possibly suggest this to him.... but not during one of his attacks.
Another thing you can say is to keep telling him... that he is fine. That he just needs to relax... and breath calm breathes.... and that he has been through this before... and that everything was ok.... and it will pass.
Good Luck....
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
Thanks for the replies.
Asking him what would be most helpful is a good idea.
And thank you very much for the info, saraelizabeth. He has a doc for this, but I'm not sure if he sees a therapist/counselor. It is also hard to tell what he needs from me when we are just on the phone and I can't see him. But thank you for the advice and reassurance!
Small talk works best. BF has these sometimes and usually I just talk him through it with other conversations that are kind of light and they pass.
Has he looked into Mitral Valve Prolapse (Syndrom)? He might have it and understanding it better might help him understand why he is having panic attacks and what things trigger them (like too much sugar, caffeine, etc.) and what types of things relieve them like exercise, hydrating properly and also a magnesium supplement.
I talked to him during an attack once before, back when they first started and I was in high school. It was by accident, though. He called the house, and I was the only one home, so I picked up. I'm pretty sure he was hoping to talk to my mom.
I think he called me this time because I have been through what he is currently going through, so I'm sure he thought I would understand.
Never heard of that condition. I'll give it a Google when I have some time.
Thanks you guys!
I have two coworkers who have had these, and one had one at work when I was the only person around. I just started talking about all kinds of random stuff and she said it worked and she felt better fairly quickly.
I asked the other coworker what I should have done and she said she thinks it is best to get distracted, so small talk can be good. At first, I was questioning coworker 1 about exactly how she was feeling and encouraging her to go in the back, etc. I think that was not good because it was just making her feel more aware of the panic attack. Then I changed tactics and just babbled and that was better.