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Friend WWYD?
I have a close friend, "J". Her best friend, "D", and I used to be friends as well. D and I never really had a falling out. I just decided that our "friendship" was no longer worth the headache to me and stopped talking to her/making plans with her. J knows that D is difficult and understands the gist of my feelings towards her. But, J is not really aware of specifics on what led me to the decision b/c I decided I didn't want her to be put in the middle and never talked to her about my reasoning. And honestly, in my opinion, the whole situation was just no big deal. I'm a big girl. I don't need to like everyone or need everyone to like me. Fast forward to yesterday, J had a little gathering at her house. I figured D would be there....again, no biggie. I can be social without being buddy buddy with someone. The party went fine, D and I didn't really talk, but whatever. After D left, J was like "Was that awkward? I was so worried about it being awkward." Once I realized what she meant (b/c in my mind, it was no biggie), I said, something like "not at all for me. we're both close friends with you, bound to run into each other. I have no real problem with her and can get along with her fine in these settings." Now, I really feel bad that J was worried about it. So, I was thinking about bringing it up with her, reassuring her that the're nothing to worry about as far as I'm concerned. And, open it up for any questions she has.
The next time J and I have plans to get together is with our boys for a dinner/movie this weekend. (Our boys are best friends. I introduced them, I'm a good matchmaker!) I don't think that's the best setting for this discussion, so I was thinking of meeting her for lunch this week. The boys feel the same way about D as I do. I don't want them to get to D-bashing and J feel attacked. Would you talk to your friend about this? Do you think I summed it up well enough with my response to her "awkward" question and should leave it alone?
Re: Friend WWYD?
Yes, this is what I would do.
Don't say anything to her. You said enough already.
I would casually mention to H to not bash D in J's presence though.
One more vote for letting sleeping dogs lie.