Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Because you ladies are still my "wedding" board, ? for you!
Who hosted your wedding shower? Was it your bridesmaids??? Do you happen to know how much they had to chip in then to help for it. We're they informed that they were hosting the shower before money was asked for? If you don't know have you ever been a wedding where you were a bridesmaid and you helped host a shower and were asked to contribute money?
The reason why I am asking is that I am in a wedding in September for a friend. I had talked to her about her shower some and from what I gathered her Mom was hosting the shower. Well I just get an email on facebook from her MOH asking who is going to the shower so we can split the costs between the Bridesmaids. One of the other bridesmaids kind of threw a fit saying "Aren't we supposed to pay for the bachellorette party? Why do we have to pay for this too." The MOH responded back that on the invitations that are going out that it states that the Bridesmaids are hosting the shower and she thinks it will be at least $100 a bridesmaid for the shower.... I responded back that I am completely willing to help, but I agree that we should have been informed a head of time that we were hosting this shower and in turn would be required to split the costs.
It's hard for me to understand what normally happens, because I wasn't asked to contribute to the shower (besides bring food, dessert) for the other wedding that I was a bridesmaid in, and my Mom hosted my bridal shower and just asked my BM's to help plan and set things up. If you guys could explain what you experienced I would appreciate it!!!
Re: Because you ladies are still my "wedding" board, ? for you!
I had two showers.
Shower #1- Hosted by my mom and all my BMs (except 1- see below). They all chipped in money. This was mainly for my side of the family.
Shower #2- Hosted by SIL and MIL. They paid for everything. This one was for their side of the family.
I think that everyone just chipped in what they could. One got the cake, one got the decorations, one got drinks, and my mom paid for the food. I am not sure how they planned it. I think they just all jumped in and picked something they could handle.
When I was MOH for my sister, we sorta did the same. We all met (pre-FB days) and just divided what was needed.
That's really weird that it wasn't discussed before they decided how much people have to pay. I know most peoples' showers are planned by the bridesmaids, but in my family it's supposed to be done by non-bridal party females in the family (I don't know why...). My aunts and one of my cousins did it all on their own. I'm sure everyone just helped out with what they could afford. My bridesmaids then only had to do the bachelorette party.
I think usually the best way to handle the shower if it is going to be up to the bridal party would be for the MOH to organize it. Before deciding anything I would think they would discuss the budget and how much people can afford to give. I would feel terrible if my bridesmaids were forced into a number that was above what they could really do!!
Thanks for the replies!!! I totally have no problem chipping in to pay, just more or less curious what is "normal" for this type of situation. I would like for it to be fair for everyone.
The only thing that really urks me is that everything was planned and decided on, AND THEN the bridesmaids were informed that they were "hosting" and had to all split the costs. If I am hosting something, I would appreciate the heads up and maybe be able to give my input for the event that I am helping pay for.
All of my bridesmaids chipped in. I have also been in 2 wedding and chipped in for both of those. I think that the MOH should have gotten a budget from everyone ahead of time on what they wanted to spend. I think for both showers I threw I spend $100-$150. I would imagine my bridesmaids spent up to $100 each for mine. There were 3 bridesmaids.
In my area this is just understood. I know its differnet in some other areas.
We also chip in for the brides portion of the bachelorette party. A lot of times we go away somewhere. We would chip in for the bride but not pay for the other people going outside of the wedding party. If the bachelorette party is hosted in someones home we would provide food and drinks.
I spent in total between $1000-$1500 to be in the weddings I was in. Its a serious financial decision to be in a wedding here.