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scary scary military
So after a couple years of my H being interested in the military he has finally decided to join. He wants to be AD AF or AD Army. In my mind have have gone back and forth on this. It would be a great opportunity for both of us in the long run. However we have been together for 5 years, and have only been split apart (he had to go work in SoCal) for 1 week and that was hard. So for 5 years we have been together every day, every night. So the only thing that worries me is the deployment. Army=1 year, AF=6 months. He is most interested in army but the deployment and being away for 1 year scares the both of us to the point where it would just be miserable. Am I being selfish for trying to convince him not to join army but other branches that have smaller deployment? We both have been considering this for many years so its definitely not a spur of the moment thing.
Re: scary scary military
For me personally I'd want the shorter deployment of course, but more importantly I'd want to know where he'd be most likely to be deployed. Would the army send him to a more dangerous place than the AF? Is there any difference in pay/benefits?
Disclaimer--- I don't know anything about the military or the branches, these are just the first things that I thought of.
Although I respect people in the military, I always discourage joining if a good friend or family member of mine is thinking about it. To me the benefits (money, schooling, etc) is just not worth risking your life over. I'd much rather be struggling financially than to have my DH risk his life. That's just my opinion though; I know many people feel very strongly that the military is a great thing for men/women to join.
Also, AF deployments can be longer than 6 months. My stepbrother was in the AF and was deployed in Iraq for over a year. He was initially only supposed to be there 6 months but they kept extending it and there wasn't anything he could do about it.
It's a personal decision that you as a couple have to make, but if you struggled being apart from each other for 1 week, I don't think the military is the best option for your relationship.
I have a friend from hs who is deployed. I honestly don't know what branch he's in, but he was gone about a year (he was gone their first year of marriage). It was really hard on both of them, especially the wife...but now he's back and everything seems to be going well.
I also saw a bit on the news yesterday about a soldier who was supposed to come back from Middle East this wknd for his sister's wedding and to celebrate his one year wedding anniversary with his wife and he was killed. I started bawling for this complete stranger and his family/wife. How unimaginable.
Like pp's said, it's a decision you'll have to make together and obviously you know the possible risks. But then again, it's not guranteed if he's deployed he won't come back.
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Has he considered joining the reserves to start? It would give him a taste of the military life. And if he wanted to go AD, he could from there.
I have friends who were in the Army and the Marines. It's a tough life when you're single, never mind when you're married. Your life isn't your own, and you pretty much have no say in where you go and when. If you haven't already, you both should speak to military couples. Not recruiters, but actual people who will tell you like it is.
This. Chris is in the reserves, and while the US and Canada are different, in Canada he has much more of a choice as a reservist as to whether he even goes anywhere or not. In his case, he would have to actively volunteer to be deployed (which he has, and thankfully they haven't needed him).
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