Family Matters
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Need help with my mom.

Backstory: my 70 year old mom lives alone and we've recently discovered she has mild dementia, but in some areas it's more moderate.  I go to her doctor appts with her and help oversee her finances, medications, etc.  We have written up a power of attorney, but it's not in effect until we get two of her doctors to sign it, which will basically say that they think it's time for someone else to totally take over her affairs.  We don't plan on putting it into effect yet as she's doing okay. 

Financially: she struggles and is making it with retirement and social security.  We have her on a detailed budget with not a lot of wiggle room.  She knows she doesn't have much money to spend.  She's always been poor at handling money.  I want to balance her checkbook but she won't let me.  I've always thought it was because she's hiding something and now I'm pretty sure I'm right. 

Situation: I found a receipt on her kitchen table for $405.  Then I noticed it was for a kiosk in the mall (and they always have a no returns policy).  All of it for facial products.  I flipped out.  She admitted she had to take the money out of her social security to pay for it.  She claims the man promised that the 5 face products were made from water and salt from the Dead Sea, had amazing properties, would keep her from getting wrinkles, etc.  She really believes all of it, even after I read the ingredients which were basically water, salt, and witch hazel.  Then she went on about how he was so nice, spent an hour with her, bought her a coffee, told her that he has family in Israel so if she ever visits she can stay with them, etc.  She totally fell for it.  She does NOT have the money to spend!!  She can't return the products.  I'm still having a hard time convincing her that the man lied to her, manipulated her and took advantage of her.  And he wasn't stupid: he saw a lonely woman who wanted a friend.  He talked a great story and sucked her in.  She spent more than 1/2 of a month's rent on facial products.

So, what do I do?  I'm tempted to go to her house, get the products, and go back and demand a refund.  I could show him the Power of Attorney and tell him the payment wasn't authorized and if he doesn't refund the money I'll call the police or an attorney.  (Technically I do have a Power of Attorney, but it's not in effect yet.  But would he know it?)  I could call the bank and try to stop the payment (she wrote a check, didn't charge it.  grrrr).  Any ideas what I can legally do to protect her?  Or since I don't have control over her finances yet, is she screwed?  Any ideas to get her out of this situation would be very appreciated.

 

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Re: Need help with my mom.

  • Even if you have Power of Attorney, I don't think you're going to get any money back, unfortunately.   You need to take her checkbook from her, if she's doing things like this.
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  • The POA should be in effect now. I don't think you'll get anything back, and really it's sad but it was that guys job to sell product. She wrote him a check. Legal transaction. Get the POA done now.

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  • I'd find out who the manager and owner are of that particular kiosk and be calling./writing them about their employees shady business practices.  I'd also be informing the mall manager about the kiosks shady business practices.
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  • All those kiosks are like that to everyone. They're a pushy bunch. The difference is, with someone like me, I don't stop to listen your mother did. And by the way, the guy didn't lie. Under FDA regulations, even Dead Sea salt must be listed the same as any other salt in the ingredients list. They dictate that. So it says sodium or whatever, but it could be anything from Dead Sea salt to pink Himalayan salt, to organic French grey salt to table salt. The only thing it won't be is dendritic salt.
  • My mom is convinced that these products will last her ten years and that the guy who sold them to her is really her friend.  I tried to convince her that he's not her friend and was just manipulating her into a sale and she won't change her mind.

     

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