October 2010 Weddings
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WR: Asking people to wear certain color/theme for bachlorette?
How do you guys feel about this or did you do it and how did it turn out?
As in, asking all guests to wear a certain color or follow a certain theme?
Re: WR: Asking people to wear certain color/theme for bachlorette?
I didn't do it but then again I didn't really have much of a bachelorette party. I am fine with the idea though as long as the girls involved don't have to spend money to buy something specific. A girl I went to HS with just did this and had her friends wear little black dresses and she wore a little white dress which I thought was cute.
I feel like BM's are already spending a lot of money on parties/dress/gifts etc that they should never be asked to spend even more money, especially not on an outfit for one night. So as long as they can all pull something out of their closet or if the bride is willing to pay for matching things, then it's fine with me.
Thanks, this is how I feel. I know part of being in a wedding is paying for WR items, but I was asked to help plan bf's bachlorette and have heard from one of the girls that she thinks we should do "animal" or 80's attire and also put on the invite to bring a personal item/lingere gift. Since I'm assuming a lot of people don't have animal/80's attire; I kind of think it's rude to request both of these things from guests on the invite.
I'm trying to think of a different suggestion (the black/white would be easy since it is likely a lot of people own black; or even saying were solid colors (non-white) and then bride wears white), to respond to the friend about.
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Yeah, I think doing both is a little rude. I think either/or would be fine and obvs if someone doesn't show up in the "right" outfit, it wouldn't be the end of the world.
I think Xan's thing about everyone wearing black and the bride wearing white is a super cute idea! It could be done with little black dresses, or it could be done casual, with everyone wearing jeans and a black top and the bride wearing jeans and white top. That'd be cute!
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12
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TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermAgreed. If I've got to shell out even more money on a night out for this chica, then I should be able to wear what I want.
Of course, I'm the girl who had NO INTEREST in a bachelorette party at all. Though I do go to them for other people.
This honestly is my thoughts too. My sis just went to a bachlorette party and they did the black/white thing and maybe we're (sis and I) just Debbie Downers, but we both thought it was a bit much (considering the girls already were paying for a day of events and a hotel).
Plus, the b. party is in August; so it's still warm and I'd think most people have tons of dresses/summer outfits they'd love to wear to a party to dress up a bit? And even if they bought something, then at least it'd be their own style and they could rewear it.
Seriously, animal print and/or 80's- definitely not my style!
So...how should I word my email response to the main planner? We're also doing a cooking class and I'm assuming guests will pay for that too, but am not positive.
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AHAHAHAHAHA. Please tell me someone else on here has heard the Nick Swardson skit on this?? Because b!tches love 80's parties.
-On that note, I could see if they wanted everyone to wear a certain color, or something that everyone would already have so you don't have to go out and buy it. But asking people to dish out more money on something silly like that is kind of pointless.
Just be honest. "Hey Other Bridesmaid, I know you're enthusiastic about planning a great party for bride, and so am I, but I worry it might be costly for people to have to spring for a theme outfit for the party, along with a gift, cooking class, and night out. Let's not worry about what people wear, and focus our energies on planning something awesome."
Or something.
The two i've been to were really easy.....just adding wedding colors to your outfit.....one was red and black....the other was purple.....i ended up with new accessories for both but only because i wanted to......it wasnt manditory but we all did it cuase it was fun
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I'd just say something like...
"Hey other BM, as I was thinking about the bachelorette party I realized that I have nothing in my closet that would tie into 'animal'/80's theme, then the thought crossed my mind that other people may not have this type of outfit as well. I'd hate to ask guests to spend extra money on an 80's outfit since they'll already be spending money on the cooking class, a night out, and possibly a gift. Although I think yours 80's theme is a cute idea, I think maybe we should skip it for the bachelorette party and focus more on the days events rather than our outifts; I know personally I'd rather spend an extra $20 at the bar than on clothes I'll never wear again. Just my two cents, let me know what you think"
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love your suggestions Erica and Xan! (and others).
Thanks so much! Fingers crossed it's received well
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I love 80's themed parties!
I did a western theme for my B party since I was doing cowboy boots for the wedding. Most of the girls just wore a plaid shirt, and jeans. It was fun and that is something that most people have.
Hannah, check out my FB pictures and look at the 80's prom photos, that was a blast!
CM- sorry, those were two different options that the planner suggested; not in combination.
Haha, maybe I'm just a Debbie Downer; but the thought of spending money to dress in them is just not appealing to me. My thought is that if I were to spend money on something new to wear for an event; I want to choose something that fits my own taste, not that's being told by someone else. There are so much cute dresses out there that I'd love to buy but seem too dressy to just wear for dinner. Lol, I guess that's just the way I sway vs. themed attire and how I like to spend my money.
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I agree with this Hannah. And I think as a guest I would be turned off if I was "told" what to wear and it was pretty specific (as opposed to "wear black").
That being said, I would consider buying something cheap (you could split the cost with other BP members) like necklaces, sashes, etc - my MOH did this and I don't think it cost her much (I hope).
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Good point! I responsed to the planner last night along the lines of "I think both ideas are really cute but I think we need to be aware of budgets, blah blah". Maybe I'll throw in another quick email saying something like you said! It'd be easy to make/buy either. I'm sure I could make sashes pretty cheap and then have a fun project to work on.
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I'm way late to this conversation, but of course have to give my two cents
I went to a bach party a couple of summers ago that was a "pub golf" theme. It was a cute theme if you're into bar hopping and getting trashed (which I am not, but whatever).
The problem was that the bride's other group of friends was going ALL out with the outfits, so we felt like we had to as well. So I think I spent about $50 on the outfit (which still didn't come close to what they were wearing!) and that was on top of a lingere shower, hotel room, dinner, drinks, and cover charges at the bars.
Too much to ask if you ask me. Not to mention the shower and wedding gifts.
And I know this is petty and I should be over it by now...but she didn't come to my shower (my bach was a very small group, so she wasn't invited), and they RSVP'd yes to the wedding but didn't show up.
I heard that his grandmother was sick, which is a fine reason not to come, but they never bothered to send a card, email, facebook message or anything. And the next time we saw them, she apologized for not coming, but couldn't even remember why they couldn't show up.
Ok, vent over. Sorry. That was a major derailment!
Oh, and I think asking everyone to wear the same color or whatever is acceptable...especially if it's something that everyone would have, like black.
Megan & Chris
Don't worry, it's actually kind of funny and maybe this is why I'm such a Debbie-Downer to the idea of going out of my way to get a themed outfit for this party...but this bride didn't give me a gift at my bachelorette.
I know gifts aren't required, but I think subsciously my mind is thinking; why should people go out of their way and spend extra money to buy an outfit if you don't even give gifts. Agh, that sounds terrible.
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I've actually never heard of giving a gift for a bachelorette party. I thought the party WAS the gift. I've been to a few, and no one has ever brought any sort of gift. (Well aside from the penis necklaces or whatever.)
But then again, the ones I went to were all pub crawls, and were all 10+ years ago. So maybe I just got lucky.
I don't think it's technically supposed to require a gift at all. I just find it funny that the bride and planner seems to be insisting on listing to bring a gift on the invite but the bride didn't feel it necessary to give one when she attended mine.
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Oh, I didn't have gifts at my bachelorette party (it was just a small group of girls and they rented a house at a resort in the Texas hill country where we hung out in the pool all day).
And it wasn't even the gifts...it's just that I did and spent so much to be involved with their wedding (I wasn't in it or anything), and they didn't even bother to "go out of their way" to send a card, email, etc., to congratulate us when they couldn't make it.
Like I said, petty, but it just kind of bothered me (maybe really bothered me since I'm still harping on it almost nine months later!). Especially considering that my parents paid quite a bit for them to be at the wedding.
Megan & Chris