July 2009 Weddings
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interesting article on sleep and marriage

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/need-to-know/the-daily-need/do-not-operate-this-marriage-while-drowsy/9839/http://www.pbs.org/wnet/need-to-know/the-daily-need/do-not-operate-this-marriage-while-drowsy/9839/

This is so so so so true for us... we operate on a regular basis with David sleep deprived because of the nature of his job. I can tell hours, even days, before he is going to snap from not having enough sleep, and can usually intervene and get him to get some rest in OR let the crankiness slide off my back OR just plain sleep in another room (a bad side effect of his crazy sleep schedules is that even when he is able to sleep at regular night time hours and even if he is tired, he just can't fall asleep because he was up at 3 am that last 4 nights, etc). We have truly adapted our sleep routines around David's lack of sleep to make it work for both us.

On the other hand, when I can't sleep... life literally goes to helll. I am mean and grumpy and we fight over nothing either that night or the next day. I am 10x more likely to calmly go to another room to sleep when David is struggling, but when I am struggling myself, I refuse. So illogical... And, David really can't let my crankiness slide off his back. He takes it so personal when I am having a bad day, and that usually makes things worse. Ha.

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Re: interesting article on sleep and marriage

  • I can  totally see how this works. When I don't sleep the house is in chaos. Matt doesn't require much sleep, so it doesn't affect him, or us, that much.
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  • This is SO true. M can run on 3-4 hours of sleep and be just fine. (Though he can't do that for more than 2-3 days)He even pulled an all-nighter to get a project done the Saturday before we left on vacation. I didn't want him to drive on Monday when we left, be he was all "I'm fine, I slept last night." That would have taken me at least 2 days to recover from.

    I have to have 7-8 to be really rested and anything less than 6 is a disaster. I'm grumpy and a mess. If I've really not slept well or gone several days with less sleep than I should have, I generally end up having a sobfest at some point.This is one of the reasons having kids scares me to death. I'm scared I'll be constantly grumpy!

     

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  • imagekrissyrose210:
    I can  totally see how this works. When I don't sleep the house is in chaos. Matt doesn't require much sleep, so it doesn't affect him, or us, that much.

    We?re flipped- my husband needs sleep- it takes him a shower, contacts and coffee to wake up in the morning even after a good night?s sleep. I on the other hand require very little sleep? I can sleep a couple hours and still bounce out of bed. I don?t like to sleep- it makes me feel like I?m missing out on something- I?ve always been this way too my mom said I never napped as a child (hoping that trait doesn?t show up in my child- haha!)

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  • imageMarymt4:

    imagekrissyrose210:
    I can  totally see how this works. When I don't sleep the house is in chaos. Matt doesn't require much sleep, so it doesn't affect him, or us, that much.

    We?re flipped- my husband needs sleep- it takes him a shower, contacts and coffee to wake up in the morning even after a good night?s sleep. I on the other hand require very little sleep? I can sleep a couple hours and still bounce out of bed. I don?t like to sleep- it makes me feel like I?m missing out on something- I?ve always been this way too my mom said I never napped as a child (hoping that trait doesn?t show up in my child- haha!)

    I am like this in the morning. I hate sleeping super late b/c I feel like I miss out on half the day. That drives Matt crazy! 

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  • I believe it. If I don't sleep well I can't function. M can pick up the slack but it always feels like there's more stress when I'm over-tired. Or, maybe that's just my perception because I'm the tired one?
  • This is definitely true for us. I need a good night's sleep. I don't function well without it, at all, and I get cranky really easily.
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  • I believe this for us, but I'm sure it's not cut and dry for every person.  Ideally, I would LOVE to get 8-9 hours of sleep a night.  Nine being the target number.  I love sleeping.  I love being in a cool room with the fan on, snuggled underneath the blankets and spooning my pillow.  And I will roll over as many times as physically possible until A) my cat won't leave me alone, or B) I look at my phone, realize that it's 10:30 and automatically feel guilt for how long I slept.  BUT IT'S SO GOOD!!!

    If I get less than 6 hours of sleep, I can function, but I'm definitely not at my best.  I'm sluggish and generally have a headache throughout the day, and the only thing I can think about is getting home and taking 2 Tylenol PM at 8:00, to ensure 10 hours of sleep that night for recovery.  H, however, is fine functioning on 4-5 hours.  Granted, if he does it too much, he'll need a couple days where he sleeps on and off throughout the day to catch up, but there are many nights where it will be 11:00 and he'll go out to the living room to watch tv so he won't keep me up.  Those nights, it will be 2 or 3 AM before he comes to bed.  Or I'll wake up suddenly in the middle of the night and he's asleep on the couch with lights and tv off, which makes me yell at him.

    But I am definitely sleep needy. 

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