July 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Have you made your will?
Ryan and I are going to our lawyer today to make up a will. Have any of
you done this? We saw our financial adviser earlier this week, but if
anybody has any advice on what they did I'd love to hear them! Like how you are going to disperse money, etc...
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Re: Have you made your will?
Since we don't have kids, we have still been slacking on getting one done... (shame on me) but we have talked about if we both died, we want half our assets to go to David's parents and half to go to my mom. If only one of us died, then by laws of intestacy the survivor would get everything so we haven't been that concerned yet. Plus, all our assets are joint and beneficiary designations are to individuals (not estates), so there wouldn't even be a probate.
It's the other legal documents I want to get in place asap (I have them drafted, just haven't signed them yet... again, shame on me). Advance Directive (Health Care Power of Attorney), Power of Attorney, Instructions for Anatomical Gift, Funeral, Burial and Cremation (new statutory form in Oregon)...
ETA: A big part of what you want to make sure is in yours Crisitin, is a named guardian for KR if both you and your H are deceased. We are even naming one for our pets in ours when it's done! Ha
We did our last year-we have a trust set up for Anders for funds for him. We assigned for our funds to be used towards our child's health/future, and the trust (and 529 for college) will assist him as he gets older. We put our funds in the trust of his guardans (my parents) since we feel that they will trust our wishes.
In the case that we all pass, we have assigned our assets to be split between our parents equally.
The thing that was big to us was to get bigger life insurance policies for ourselves and one for Anders after he was born. We all have whole life policies, and supplemental term policies for 30 years. I am a HUGE proponent of life insurance policies.
We had living wills made shortly after we got married. We haven't had a traditional will made since we don't have children yet, and won't for a number of years. Our lawyer said to us that wills only become important when couples have multiple children. A will isn't something we're considering until we have our first child.
Not much help, I guess...
Questions for parents/future parents:
Who will be taking care of your kids? We have chosen (if they accept) Ryan's uncle and aunt. We decided against our parents because
A.) If we pass when our kids are older, we don't want them to have to potentially take care of their grandparent.
and B.) My mom is a bit nutty, and Ry's mom is a bit...drunky. As much as we love them both.
LOL Shorty, we totally are picking people to have our dogs as well.
We have chosen one of Ryan's friends (with good investment sense) as our custodial person because we don't trust our family with money.
This whole thing has made me really sad that we both don't trust some of our family enough to take care of KR and our future kids. It's kind of disappointing.
We have a will. It includes things like, if we both pass the cats go to M's parents and that if either of us gets really sick/dies before the other, the healthy/living one has full power to make healthcare and funeral decisions.
Obviously we don't have kids yet, but when we do we'll probably name M's cousin and her husband as guardians - they're the young couple of the families that we see eye-to-eye on most closely. As much as I love our parents and siblings, I don't really want them raising our kids.
Kate's Recipe Box || Relatively Bookish
It is sad Cristin, but you are thinking of all the right things! Those are excellent reasons not to pick your parents.
When we have kids, either my mom (she's only 45 now) or a stable sibling (in the future, right now no one would qualify) will be named as guardian of the kids. I would actually also consider a couple out of state nestie besties if my mom had retired or was old enough that her health was a concern. I am adamant that none of my children will be raised by MIL/FIL. In our case, the custodial person to handle the money will be the same as the guardian, but you are smart to make it a separate person.
For the dogs, we are going to name my mom in charge of finding them homes, preferably keeping the dogs together, and preferably all in the family or with friends. If no one can take them, then they go to the no-kill shelter we got our cat from, and they have provisions to make sure Maggie and Dexter stay together forever at all times.
That's more important to me than the dogs being adopted right away or not. I have a strong feeling my mom or sister would take both of them anyway. They love them almost as much as I do. Once again, MIL/FIL won't be allowed to have my dogs. sigh.
No, we haven't done this yet but plan on doing it soon. We always talk about it, but haven't actually met with anyone yet.
I know it's sad to think about, but I feel like it's very important and needs to be done.
Yes, we have a will. Currently, Bentley & Porsche would go to my parents if something were to happen to both of us.
We also made sure that beneficiary information, advanced directive, power of attorney, our organ donation wishes, as well as funeral & burial information were all taken care of. These documents were very important for us to draft in the event that I am the one whose care is in jeopardy b/c of my parents not knowing about A. Obviously, I want my H making any and all decisions so we had these documents drafted prior to the wedding and signed within weeks of getting married.
There is also a letter to my parents enclosed with these documents to be given to them in the event that I die before telling them explaining everything since finding out your daughter is dying/dead and you can't make and decisions or anything and then finding out she is married all at once would not be a pleasant day.
You can name one person to run the kid's money and another to care for them day-to-day.
Kate's Recipe Box || Relatively Bookish