orgasms

coffeee · June 2011

I haven't been able to have an orgasm... I've been married for 2.5 years. Is there something I could do to help it?... I've tried masturbation, but haven't worked. I'm getting anxious... Is there something I could do to help it?... medication or something?

Any help will be appreciate it!!!

TarponMonoxide · June 2011

Have you masturbated?

The answer is probably no. I suggest you start --- find out what turns you on -- and then show him.

You might also want to check out the book Sex for One by Betty Dodson. She was called "the mother of masturbation.":)

theluckiest555 · June 2011

Some medications do affect your sex drive, such as antidepressents. If you are on any meds, you could ask your doctor or pharmacist if any of your meds have sexual side effects. I have trouble having an orgasm as well, the only time I really have them is when my clitoris is directly stimulated, such as through oral sex. I have NEVER had an orgasm through penetrative sex. I think it is a pretty common problem for women. What does your H think about giving you oral sex? Have you tried it? Or maybe you could ask him to use his hands to rub your clitoris. I don't know about medications, but there are tons of books out there that can help you and H. Don't get discouraged, you are not alone!!

Derniermot · June 2011

Have you tried using a toy? Watching porn while masturbating?

coffeee · June 2011

I have watched porno and masturbated. My husband frequently gives me oral sex and rubs my clitoris. I don't take any kind of medicines (not even birth control pills) and any of these work. I'm getting frustrated!!!!!!!... I still enjoy it, but I think he is also getting frustrated about it. He always tries hard. At the beginning of our relationship I faked it because I felt bad he works hard to please me... I thought if pleasing me was one of his pleasures, I would give him that. I know regret it. Since a year ago, I realized that was wrong, so I stopped faking it, but of course, now he feels he can't please me anymore... I just can't tell him that it has never happened.

I haven't tried any vibrator or toys... I think is the next step... but I feel kind of scare because I think if that doesn't work, then there are no other options. =S

HELP!!

Mash67 · June 2011

Definitely try a vibrator, one with some sort of clit type thing, like a rabbit. And a GOOD lube, adding lube can add that extra bit of friction that can get things going in an instant, Our favorite is Wet Platinum. Its the best!! Try you on top, or have him in a chair while you straddle him.

iloveu4ever · June 2011

I can't for some reason. My guy hopes I *** sorry when he cums .

BlackDiamond3201 · June 2011

You need to relax and not be so anxious about it. It will occur in time.. I think it took me a few years to actually have one. Only certain positions work for me (top, sitting on his lap). Experiment and try everything the PPs stated.

coffeee · June 2011

Thanks a lot!.. I will try that.. hopefully it helps... before i didn't mind a lot because I do love sex and enjoy it so much.... but now is like, and then? =S Anyways, I will relax and try a vibrator.... I hope it works

btw... I apologize about my English/grammar. English is not my first language.

hblamartina · June 2011

I agree with the vibrator and lubricant. Also try researching different ways you can induce orgasms online (such as different positions, etc).

Good luck!

Frogger5 · June 2011

Hello - Knottie here lurking around on a boring Saturday -

I just had to say that I think you should tell your husband that you were faking it before! Just tell him like you told us, that you thought it would make him happy. I think he would feel better knowing that than thinking that you used to be able to orgasm with him but now you can't. He must be constantly thinking of what's going on, what's different . . . if he knows it's never happened, he'll be potentially more supportive of helping you figure it out. It can be like a mission you both share! Also, relax, cause getting worked up about it isn't going to help, and if you really feel like you're doing things right and it still isn't happening, see a professional. Start with your gyno, and he/she can point you in the right direction. It's important enough to me that I would be figuring this out ASAP!

LuClo · June 2011

Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I don't know if it was more about age, or just comfort with my own body, but when I was younger I had a really hard time, as I got a little older things suddenly started working.

I agree with lube and a Rabbit!

kharrima · June 2011

Have you tried switching positions during sex to find one that better suites you or stimulates you better? Are you over thinking it? Sometimes if I just focus on the orgasm itself, I get tunnel vision and have a hard time but if I just "relax" and tell myself its not about the orgasm it's about the sex and the orgasm will come, I usually immediately feel a lot more stimulated. Have you talked to your husband about it? Have him remind you to relax during sex too.

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