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Need help with my mom. Part II
My original thread:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/54705482.aspx
It's worse that I thought. It actually totals $1700. Yes, $1700 for face cream, toner, night cream. I think my rage is finally making it sink in with her that it was a huge mistake. When I told her I confronted the guy at the mall, she asked me not to because he's so nice. But when I told her what he said compared to what she said, she's finally getting it. I'm going to call Adult Protective Services and see if they can help, I've talked to (putting it nicely) the snake oil salesman who sold it to her, I got the number of the owner who is supposedly out of the country (and probably always will be), and I (supposedly) have the number of the customer service people.
Any help to see if there is ANYTHING we can do to get any of their money back would be greatly appreciated. Any ideas, anyone we could contact who might help?
Love to scrapbook!
Re: Need help with my mom. Part II
Your mother bought a hugely expensive item.
I don't know whether she's got a possible spending addiction waiting to happen, her medical condition influenced the purchase, she was simply easily taken or she was just lonely and the salesguy's rap worked, but whatever it was, there's no way she should be buying anything expensive beyond her financial means.
Contact a regional manager about the purchase. See what you can do; It's highly doubtful he'll refund the money.
If she charged the item, yo might have a better chance of getting her money back. call the issuing bank and explain what happened.
The FTC might also be interested in the sales claims that aren't true. They're in Washington.
She used her debit card, but it does have the Visa logo. I'm wondering if it has the same protection?
It's worth a try anyway -- I don't know about a debit card, though -- would not hurt to ask the issuing bank.
Was it Deju Vu cosmetics? Those jerks have their little stand right near the stairs in the mall and are ALWAYS trying to get people to buy their crap. I've actually started yelling NO, your products are junk when they try to get me to come over.
I found their web site, you can try calling their offices, all the contact info for the company is on the website.
http://www.dejavu-cosmetics.com/aboutus.asp
If that doesn't work and the bank can't help you - I'd be sitting in the mall in my free time with a poster board saying "ask me about how these people ripped off my senile mother"
They usually report on what consumers report that's a rip off, how a company didn't follow through on something that was promised, etc. You might want to call "Shame On You" and take this to the press.
Your mother needs protection and an advocate. You kinda-sorta knew that before and had things in place. Then you casually saw a receipt, asked some questions, asked some more, and then hit rock bottom.
Call the bank to dispute the charges and follow through with any available steps as a consumer advocate. But realize that your mother didn't really spend $1700 on facial creams. She spent $1700 to get someone really dedicated to her finances and health. That's you. I am so sorry you are facing this, but you are going to have to really change her independence and access to purchases if these are the decisions she will make. You have seen an ugliness that someone would take such cruel advantage of her and get away with it.
I'm s sorry you're facing this. But for your mother's sake, I'm also glad you're facing t.
I am so sorry this happened to your mom. She must have seen it as a nice person to talk to and a treat for herself. How sad that this man took advantage of her loneliness to make a big pay day. They are always pushy like that (the kiosk men) and it makes me angry for you (and your mom) that this happened.
I would call the bank to dispute the charges. I am also with livinitup-- this was a costly lesson, but ultimately one that needed to happen. I would really suggest taking her finances & being the primary on them from now on. Your mom sounds like a lovely woman, but she is living on a fixed income & is too trusting.
I don't know if there is much else you can do, but I hope there is. (((hugs)))
I was at mom's apartment today and had her bring out everything she bought. She has the receipts for everything. Even though she debit'd it all, some of the receipts say "credit". She has four things of eyeshadow that she says she didn't want or ask for but the girl just rang them up and mom handed over her card without paying attention.
Tomorrow we're going to the bank to put me on her account, the mall to try and get some kind of refund and file a complaint with the mall management, and I'm calling the BBB and Adult Protective Services.
I've read your posts, but didn't have anything to offer - I'm seriously sorry that your mother has been taken advantage of, and I wish you the best in getting this resolved and for protecting her financially in the future. If she puts you on the account, that won't stop her from making these types of mistakes again - though some banks have "alerts" that they will send via email when a certain dollar amount has been withdrawn. You might also look into setting up some sort of trust account - there's different types, but we have one for a settlement our underaged son received as a result of an injury. We can take money out for his needs but he can't actually touch it until he reaches a certain age. Maybe the bank manager could set something like that up for the two of you? You could see that her bills are paid directly (online or through the bank) and then you could provide her a spending allowance for shopping and a feeling of independence? Our bank gives out these little loadable "Visa" cards that are basically used the same way as a debit or gift card...but if there's not enough $$ for the transaction then obviously the transaction doesn't go through...so if you only allow her $X per week/month and she tries to by $1700 worth of makeup in her confusion, she won't be ripped off as badly? Anyway...just a thought. Hope all is resolved soon enough.
We went to the bank today. The items were all on debit and the money has already been taken from the account. There's nothing they can do. We closed mom's debit card so this won't happen again (not that should couldn't do the same thing with a check, but it's a start.)
We went to the kiosk with all the items in their bags with the packaging and they refused a refund. We went to the mall management and filled out a complaint form and gave them copies of all the receipts (yes, they have multiple receipts even though the transactions all occured during one visit. I assume so the amount seems like less?). I also told the mall that if it came to it, I'd call a local TV station down to the mall to complain about this kiosk and their sales techniques. The kiosk "manager" who I was told was in Israel actually answered when I called and said he couldn't meet me at the kiosk because he drives to all the malls and isn't in our area this week. (So much for him being in Israel.) But he did talk to me and my mom while we were both on the phone. I wouldn't let him talk to her alone because I don't trust him. I told him clearly that I will go to the BBB, the police, and Adult Protective Services and I will hound them until my mom gets a refund. This "manager" who I think is actually the owner, said he'll call me back tomorrow night.
We'll see what happens....
And finally my mom is starting to see that salespeople aren't her friends.
No. She's not. Do not stick your head in the sand. Even if she sees it at this exact moment, it's not a lesson that will stick. She has dementia. She is not getting better. Take away the checkbook.
You're right. Very true. At least she now sees that this guy isn't her friend. I think we're going to do a weekly 'allowance' type of thing, with money in different envelopes for different expenses. I have access to her bank account right now, so I can view her account daily and to see what's going on. Soon we'll get the bank paperwork straightened out so I can call them directly to stop transactions.
This isn't easy for my mom, as she wants to be independent. But I keep telling her that I'm the only one on her side trying to protect her. I'm hoping that will sink in and she'll see that I'm not being mean and I'm trying to help.