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Weird Aunt Experience
Since my mom passed away, my aunt (mom's sister) has been doing a genealogy project, which I'm not terribly interested in. My mom's family has fairly good records, but my aunt has been googling their sir names instead. The side in question has been in the US a long time and changed their names to standard things, so her information isn't accurate.
So now she's suddenly decided we're Irish. Unfortunately, I was caught off guard and told her that's not really possible (because it's not), and she got upset. She's a really touchy person anyway and was already wound up when she called me, so I really shouldn't have commented. Unfortunately, the conversation continued. At no point was I rude, nor did I raise my voice or use any kind of tone, although I realize I should not have had it at all.
Should I apologize or not bring it up and let it die down? I don't really like to apologize when I don't think I've actually done anything wrong, and I also don't want to be involved in what she's doing, but I want her to calm down, preferably before Saturday.
Re: Weird Aunt Experience
I agree that apologizing when you've done nothing wrong doesn't seem right.
I also say sugar coat it if it means restoring the relationship though. It's a fine line to walk between dysfunctionaly "owning" wrongs we haven't committed and focusing too much on being "right" at the expense of the relationship!
I did kind of chuckle at the whole Irish thing.
I agree with the other ladies when they say let it die down and if shes still upset Saturday apologize - however, I'd recommend a generic apology like "I'm sorry I upset you" - I wouldnt include the project in your apology as she may think you're showing an interest since YOU brought it up - get what I'm saying?
Good luck!
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Soooo... I've been lying low hoping my aunt would forget the conversation (if not the project). The Swedish (our actual ethnicity) Fair is on Saturday and I'm in charge of food, so I was expecting she would call me about that today or tomorrow.
She did call today, but about neither food nor being Irish. In fact she is going to hang a giant kerosene burning chandelier in her modest-sized dining room and she seemed very happy and excited.
(Side note: DH expressed concern over tall, hyper active Scandinavians mixing with low hanging flames. He also pointed out that a lot of geneaologies are probably not factual.)
Linds -- I'll take your advice about not naming the project directly if she doesn't. Hopefully she'll remain happy with her new project.
This made me LOL. A lot. Sounds like she needs a safe, long-term hobby...
And a good insurance policy :P
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