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Birthing and Comfort Level Poll
I just watched the 19 Kids and Counting special from Sunday where the oldest Duggar (Josh) and his wife have their son (their second child.) It made me think. How comfortable would you feel with the following (1-10, I suppose if you want, but feel free to expand on your answers)
1. Your DH watching the baby come out of you
2. Your mom watching the baby come out of you
3. Your mother in law watching the baby come out of you
4. Other female relatives or close friends watching the baby come out of you
5. Your dad, father in law, or other male friends/relatives watching the baby come out of you
6. (((SPOILER ALERT!!!))) A question for those who have had babies: Anna Duggar gave birth on the toilet. She went to relieve herself and just stayed there while the birthing coach, her MIL, her DH, and 2 SILs came in to help. Do babies really come so quickly that you couldn't move to a more spacious area at that point?
Re: Birthing and Comfort Level Poll
My answers: obviously, I reserve the right to change my mind if I ever am pregnant but:
1-DH- I'm fine with. DH is a nurse and some of you got to hear his commentary on watching births (After he described the his OB rounds, I said jokingly, "And that's why we don't have kids" to which DH replied, "Hell---it's amazing we still even have sex after that!") So, I'm not sure if he'd want to watch again, but I'm fine with whatever. I'd prefer not to poop in front of him, but such is life.
2-4-Mom, MIL, and other women- I'm fine with any of the above being there and down in the trenches so to speak should they want to. I've never been a modest person when it comes to my body. I'm not an exhibitionist, but things like communal dressing rooms, gyno visits, etc. don't phase me. As I see it, it's just a vagina. They all have one. I would NEVER force them to watch (live or on video or anything) but if they were interested, no biggie. The two Duggar SILs who watched are training to be midwives or paramedics or something, I think, so that seems like a perfectly reasonable reason to be there to me. I also expect that my point of view isn't the normative one, though.
5- I'd DEFINITELY prefer not. If I were in a delivery room the size of a football field I'd be ok with them being in there, but I think we'd all prefer if they stayed up by my head. We'd all be traumatized otherwise.
I'm perfectly okay with numbers 1-4; however, I only want DH in the delivery room. This is more due to emotional privacy and not wanting to worry about unintended pressure from others.
5. No, thank you.
6. I know one woman who gave birth on the toilet, but she was in the hospital for premature labor (like 24-25 weeks) with triplets. She thought she needed to have a bowel movement, and it was the first triplet. The other two triplets were delivered outside of the bathroom.
1. Your DH watching the baby come out of you I'm fine with that. I'm almost positive H wanted to pass out while JJ was being born, but he was a trooper. :P
2. Your mom watching the baby come out of you Fine with that, too.
3. Your mother in law watching the baby come out of you Yeah - no thank you. She and I aren't remotely close, and having her in the room would probably piss me off and make me ridiculously uncomfortable. IF she were to ever be present for the birth of one of our children, I'd ask her to leave as I got closer to pushing.
4. Other female relatives or close friends watching the baby come out of you My sister was in the room when JJ was born, and I was fine with that. I'd be fine with my best friend and/or one of my aunts being in the room with me, too, but probably not anyone else.
5. Your dad, father in law, or other male friends/relatives watching the baby come out of you Yeah...I'll pass on that. Pretty sure if my dad had been home when I had JJ, he would've spent most of his time outside the hospital.
6. (((SPOILER ALERT!!!))) A question for those who have had babies: Anna Duggar gave birth on the toilet. She went to relieve herself and just stayed there while the birthing coach, her MIL, her DH, and 2 SILs came in to help. Do babies really come so quickly that you couldn't move to a more spacious area at that point? I think that once you get to that point where it's time to push, you don't want to move - you'll stay wherever, as long as the baby can be born safely. I can see that happening, but I don't know anyone personally who's gone through that.
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I thought I would feel the same way, but I had like, four nurses and two doctors in and out of my room, and I had some issues. By the time I was ready to push, I didn't care who saw what, honestly. But that was just me. :P
I think next time, though, I may just have it be me and H.
1. I am perfectly fine with DH watching baby come out. But with M he said that he would prefer to stay at the head of the bed. He did (by peer pressure from the nurses) finally peer over the sheet while they were doing my cs. I thought he was going to pass out.
2. I would love for my mom to be in the delivery room.
3. I had asked MIL when we were pg with M but she said that she would prefer not to be in the room because she didn't think she could handle seeing me in pain.
4. The only other femail relative I would have in there would be my sister
5. I don't think I would be comfortable with my dad or FIL in the room and I know they would feel very uncomfortable about it.
6. While I have not experience active labor or the urge to push, I know people and have heard stories about laboring on toliets. I don't think this is very uncommon. I think if you are comfortable where you are at and is not dangerous for the baby then it perfectly fine.
1-4 I think I'd be okay with. Agree with you, amanjay... I'm not crazy about the idea of pooping in front of any of the above, but I assume the women would understand, and H would just have to deal with it.
5 - No way. I don't think I could be okay with any dudes watching a baby come out, especially Dad or FIL.
My comfort level with any of those is zero. As in, no one but medical professionals will actually see a child come out of my body. The potential father can hang out up my head and shoulders. My mom and other relatives can wait in the waiting room. I can maaaaybe see having a friend or two in with me, but not in the general vaginal area.
For as party-girl-ish as I can be, I'm really quite modest.
That is way happened when my mom had me. She said it was nice for it to just be her and my dad. She called her mom and MIL but told them not to come until morning. My grandma was watching my brother. My mom wanted him to be the first to meet me other than my dad. My grandma brought him to the hospital first thing the next morning. We all had our time together before everyone else got there.
1. Your DH watching the baby come out of you--Right now the plan is for DH to stay by my head, partly because I want him up by my head supporting/comforting me and partly because he's a little squeamish (he doesn't want to cut the cord because it freaks him out, ha!). I just don't see a reason for him to be down at the business end of the birth. DH will be the ONLY person in the room when I'm pushing (other than medical professionals, of course).2. Your mom watching the baby come out of you--Nope. My mom and I are close and she's a Nurse Practitioner, but she's already told me she has no desire to watch the baby come out, and I have no desire to have her see the baby come out. Some things just don't need to be seen!3. Your mother in law watching the baby come out of you--Nope, not happening.4. Other female relatives or close friends watching the baby come out of you--Again, not happening. Only DH and medical professionals will be in the room when Baby comes out.5. Your dad, father in law, or other male friends/relatives watching the baby come out of you--Oh, Hell no. 6. (((SPOILER ALERT!!!))) A question for those who have had babies: Anna Duggar gave birth on the toilet. She went to relieve herself and just stayed there while the birthing coach, her MIL, her DH, and 2 SILs came in to help. Do babies really come so quickly that you couldn't move to a more spacious area at that point? Haven't experienced this yet, obviously, but I would think once it's time to finally push I'll just want the baby out and won't care if I'm on a bed, toilet, or the floor at that point.
1. Your DH watching the baby come out of you Fine with this. (10)
2. Your mom watching the baby come out of you I am also fine with this. (10)
3. Your mother in law watching the baby come out of you Probably not so much (3)
4. Other female relatives or close friends watching the baby come out of you Maybe my sister (10) I would be fine with, but no one else.
5. Your dad, father in law, or other male friends/relatives watching the baby come out of you No, no, no.. not at all! (0)
1. Your DH watching the baby come out of you: If he is comfortable with that, then I am. I don't know if he would be.
2. Your mom watching the baby come out of you: No. Negative zero.
3. Your mother in law watching the baby come out of you: No, Negative zero.
4. Other female relatives or close friends watching the baby come out of you. I don't think any of them would want to. I would like to have my sister in the room, but she doesn't need to watch it.
5. Your dad, father in law, or other male friends/relatives watching the baby come out of you: NO. Negative zero.
I don't need everyone all up in my vaginal business. I might be considered weird, old-fashioned, or even prudish for that, but I imagine if I ever birth a tiny human, I want it to be like Miranda on SATC: only very close people in the room (either H, or sister, or very, very close friend), and only nurses or doctor's in my business, and the nurses don't get to do baby-talk or sound encouraging in any way. I want it to be straight-up business.Everyone would be welcome, in time, to come see me and the baby, as long as they call ahead of time. But my vagina is off-limits.