Dealbreaker question (stolen from TIP for kicks)

fuzzylogic · June 2011

(this is what happens when I get tired of researching a fairly boring topic...I lurk on TIP lol)

Would it be a dealbreaker if:

Your SO had no high school diploma

Your SO had no GED

Your SO had no Bachelor's degree

Your SO had no degree higher than a Bachelor's degree

oklagirl · June 2011

Yes

No

Snowful · June 2011

No to all four questions. It would be a dealbreaker if SO was as dumb as rocks. Typically not having one of those degrees would indicate that, but not always.

prettygirl06 · June 2011

Would it be a dealbreaker if:Your SO had no high school diploma YesYour SO had no GED YesYour SO had no Bachelor's degree Yes/No (only because of the shortage of jobs available w/o one)Your SO had no degree higher than a Bachelor's degree No

tjlovesthepokes · June 2011

Yes.

No.

Although, my genius self thought I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with a guy who had no diploma or GED. I'm so thankful he broke up with me, because I was in loooooove. Now, my best friend is married to him.

kayleeb · June 2011

Snowful:
No to all four questions. It would be a dealbreaker if SO was as dumb as rocks. Typically not having one of those degrees would indicate that, but not always.

I agree with this.

WendyToo · June 2011

oklagirl:
Yes

Yes

No

No

This.

stripesandspots · June 2011

When I was dating, Yes to all.

Sorry.

I realize a college degree doesn't necessarily mean someone is intelligent which is what is most important to me. My father doesn't have a college degree and he is a genius. If I were dating now, my response might be different.

OSUWifey09 · June 2011

Yes to the first two; no to the second two. Although, I kinda agree with Snowful's logic - I know people who have their HS diplomas who aren't doing a thing with their lives, and I know people who don't have that who are absolutely incredible.

aWm2010 · June 2011

Snowful:
No to all four questions. It would be a dealbreaker if SO was as dumb as rocks. Typically not having one of those degrees would indicate that, but not always.

aWm2010 · June 2011

Snowful:
No to all four questions. It would be a dealbreaker if SO was as dumb as rocks. Typically not having one of those degrees would indicate that, but not always.

This, kind of. I am so glad DH graduated from HS, but I know some people who do not have a diploma from HS or a GED because of a situation in their life. To me they need to go get a GED because I think it is important, but a person in particular that I am talking about it a great person and someone I love dearly. My DH took a few classes in college before I ever knew he existed, but works in construction and loves the physical work. If he does ever go to college I will support him 100% though!

amanjay · June 2011

Honest answer? Yes to HS, GED, and, in most instances, yes to lower than BA. The "higher than a BA" is tricky. I need a man who is willing to be my trailing spouse because of my job and the more education he has in most instances, the less likely he is to be able to do so easily. It would be a preference, though.

I know education /=/ intelligence or, in many instances, earning power. Just like some people prefer a guy with brown eyes or who works in X field or is super funny or who is more introverted, or who takes great care of his body, more formal education is preference...though you can tell I obviously feel squicky for saying so for some reason given the insane amount of explaining I just did.

jesseandbri · June 2011

yes

no

pinksprkl · June 2011

I can't imagine being OK with my SO not having at the very least a GED if for some reason he didn't have his HS diploma. When it comes to college though, I guess it would just depend. I have a friend with two master's degrees and she makes $10 an hour while her husband, who has absolutely no college experience, is clearing six figures. So she has over $700/month she is paying in student loans and he has none and is obviously more than providing for his family. FIGURES.

WendyToo · June 2011

amanjay:
Honest answer? Yes to HS, GED, and, in most instances, yes to lower than BA. The "higher than a BA" is tricky. I need a man who is willing to be my trailing spouse because of my job and the more education he has in most instances, the less likely he is to be able to do so easily. It would be a preference, though.

I know education /=/ intelligence or, in many instances, earning power. Just like some people prefer a guy with brown eyes or who works in X field or is super funny or who is more introverted, or who takes great care of his body, more formal education is preference...though you can tell I obviously feel squicky for saying so for some reason given the insane amount of explaining I just did.

I suspect the reason why is that, given your field and experience, you acknowledge those things aren't opportunities for everyone. Knowing you wish those barriers didnt exist makes you feel badly for applying similar barriers to your own life, since it means excluding a sizable portion of the population from the mating pool. I also think it's completely normal to seek a mate who values the same things as you. Clearly you value education and intelligence highly. If say, physical fitness, was your passion in life, would you feel badly for desiring a Kate who shared that interest/hobby/value?

SunnyDaze31 · June 2011

Yes, yes, possibly, no

I know that not everyone wants/needs/is qualified to go to college, but education is important to me and I would expect my SO to share similar values.

Steven&Jamie · June 2011

Yes, yes, no, no....though it would probably also depend on why he hadn't gotten his HS diploma/GED.

DH went to college for a couple of semesters, so he obviously doesn't have a degree, BUT he makes almost three times as much as I do while I'm the one who has student loans we're paying. Go figure.

I realize college isn't for everyone and a person can still be a respectable citizen, provide for their family, and be an educated, smart person and not have a degree.

amanjay · June 2011

WendyToo:
amanjay:

Honest answer? Yes to HS, GED, and, in most instances, yes to lower than BA. The "higher than a BA" is tricky. I need a man who is willing to be my trailing spouse because of my job and the more education he has in most instances, the less likely he is to be able to do so easily. It would be a preference, though.

I know education /=/ intelligence or, in many instances, earning power. Just like some people prefer a guy with brown eyes or who works in X field or is super funny or who is more introverted, or who takes great care of his body, more formal education is preference...though you can tell I obviously feel squicky for saying so for some reason given the insane amount of explaining I just did.

I suspect the reason why is that, given your field and experience, you acknowledge those things aren't opportunities for everyone. Knowing you wish those barriers didnt exist makes you feel badly for applying similar barriers to your own life, since it means excluding a sizable portion of the population from the mating pool. I also think it's completely normal to seek a mate who values the same things as you. Clearly you value education and intelligence highly. If say, physical fitness, was your passion in life, would you feel badly for desiring a Kate who shared that interest/hobby/value?

I think you hit the nail on the head.

I'm the inequalities person in our department so knowing how many people don't have the same chances I did makes me feel a little badly each time I buy myself something nice or spend more on one meal than some families around the world spend on food in a month. It's so easy to say, "But I worked hard! I deserve this!" but compared to someone living in subsistance poverty, no, I don't. I can't even begin to know what hard work is.

It goes deeper than that, I'm sure (as in that little voice in my head that says, "Yes, you're a nice girl, but who do you think you are to demand what kind of looks/education/income/whatever a guy you date has?"), but that's one for a therapist or a bartender Wink

+buttercup+ · June 2011

Yes

yes

no

Dealbreaker question (stolen from TIP for kicks)

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