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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Co-sleeping
Define co-sleeping for me. If I understand correctly, typically, baby isn't in the parents' bed, right? How bad is it if baby is in bed with parents?
H will normally hold Ella after her last pre-bedtime feeding so she is sound asleep; this takes an hour or so. I haven't been napping during the day (MIL is here plus aunt is in the hospital) so I can't stay awake an extra hour after taking a good 45 minutes to feed her. If I try to lay her down after eating, she just screams. Therefore, I just lay her in bed with us. I keep her a couple inches below the pillows and keep the blanket below her feet.
MIL noticed this and I think she was ready to call CPS. Is what I'm doing that bad?
Re: Co-sleeping
My Step-MIL, told my H, that 'she'd die' if we even thought of doing that stuff.
While we don't bedshare, El has slept w/ us a few times, and when she was weeks old was in a bassinet in the same room/next to my bed. As the others have said, you do what you gotta do! MIL's be damned!
You are in survival mode right now and if her sleeping in bed with you is how you get sleep, then do it! Grier usually stays in bed with us if she wakes up in the middle of the night to eat.
She has slept with us the whole night, on more than one occasion. She didn't even necessarily want to be held, just close to us. She would manage to wiggle herself up to me or dh and go to sleep.
As long as you are bed sharing safely, keep doing what you're doing. Having a newborn is exhausting and if you get some sleep with her in the bed, then do it! And tell your mil to back off
As LuCinda said, I really think more people do this than admit to it.
I really just wanted to make sure we were being safe. Maybe next week we can get back to normal sleeping though.
MIL hasn't said anything directly to me, but I overheard her talking about how horrible it was. She just tells me how I am not BFing right, even though she knows little about it as she didn't even attempt it.
The best advice I got as a new mom was; if it feels right for you, then it's OK, -that's what my MOM told me. If in your gut it feels right, sister your doing fine! Ella is happy being close to mommy/daddy right now, after all she was all snuggly in there for OH 9mths, this outside place is too cold! You're doing great! Don't let anyone tell you differently!
Definition wise, co-sleeping is sleeping in the same room. Bedsharing is sleeping in the same bed.
No worries, dear! I work in the child welfare field and this is not a child protection issue. It sounds like you're doing it safely and bedsharing has many benefits. Do what you have to do to get sleep for everyone.
If she continues to nag you about it, either tell her to butt out or print off some info from Dr. Sears website.
I agree with all PP-sounds like are doing it safely! Plus, enjoy every second of bedsharing! G slept with us alot in the mornings and I was always worried it'd be hard transition, etc. However-she let us know when she was ready to stay in her own bed and now I miss her like crazy. I wish she would let me cuddle her in our bed now.
Also-my mom thought I was terrible for bedsharing. Don't let it get to you. Just stop over at Target and get the Circo onesie that says "my mommy doesn't want your advice" :-)
there are a lot of benefits of cosleeping/bedsharing (the pp's definitions are right on), including better sleep for everyone, better breastfeeding relationship, and reduction in the risk of SIDS. of course, only if you do it safely - the deaths that people attribute to 'co-sleeping' are often smothering deaths due to a parent accidentally falling asleep with baby without setting up safety precautions, or sleeping on the couch with them, or bedsharing while under the influence.
askdrsears.com has a lot of great advice - here especially, and a few more articles here.
we coslept with Oli for at least his first 6 months, we have coslept in some form Finn's entire life, and as i type both boys are asleep in our bed. (LOVE our king bed and wish we had put crib money towards a king a lot time ago!)