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Snooping...opinions?
Alright, this post is going to make me look awful for even asking but I want to get opinions.
As I have said before, I am in an office with 4 people close to me, our desks all lined up, not in cubes (See below for the order)
(Person A) (Person 
(ME) (Person C)
I work on my projects with person B, and Persons A and C work together on their projects. To put it lightly A+C are the most two faced people I have ever met. They are so nice to me and my co workers but this is what I deal with all day:
A: (Writes an email and clicks send)
Moments Later....
C: hahahaha (writes an email and clicks send)
A few more moments pass...
A: hahahaha (writes an email and clicks send)
It is so BLATANTLY obvious that they are talking about me and the other girl I sit near because I can see them looking me up and down as they do it. This has been going on a year plus.
Well that brings me to the title of my post. Person C is out of the office for a few days, and she left her computer on and email up so that another co worker on a different floor can check her email (her clients have a tendency to ignore OOO messages).
I get here before and leave after everyone. I am DYING to go to her desk and read all the nasty stuff she has been saying behind my back.
I know you can't unread something, and I really don't care what she thinks of me. I just want to know how deep this cattiness goes.
Tell me I am wrong and I shouldn't do it. I know I shouldn't and it's her email (even though its sent on corporate email which ALMOST makes it fair game). I am just so fired up and sick of her shiit, and I need to be talked down.
TIA. I promise I will make up for this crazy post with a fun one.
Re: Snooping...opinions?
Shmel's Blog
It would take everything in me not to do it too ...
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hahahaha. I love you guys. I will be alone in the office in about an hour and will let you know if the angel on one shoulder or the devil on the other prevails.
At least I know you guys won't think less of me : )
Oh, I don't need to read the emails to know this girl deserves a good punch in the face. That has been wellllll established.
Oh highschool days... Some women just never leave them behind & unfortunately you have to work with 2 of them. First let me offer me say I'm so sorry that you have to put up with this kind of BS. Secondly, let me offer some advice in question form.
1. - If you read the emails and find (which I'm sure that you will) the nasty comments that she & her cohort have been saying how will that help the situation? My guess is that it will make a bad situation worse.
2. - If/when you do read the emails what happens when you confront her about it? You'll have to admit that you snooped & that could completly backfire on you & you could end up out of a job.
3. - Is there any way you could approch HR about this toxic working enviornment, Could you & the other co-worker that is harrassed approach HR together in a professional way & explain the situation. Tell HR that you don't want it to get any worse but it is making for a hostile working environment & could they apporach it by doing a training session company wide about this issue so as to not draw undue attention your way. try not to come across as "tattling".
Good luck. I've been there & thank God that I now work at a great job with people that I respect & and HR department that doesn't put up with bu11sh!t.
Thank you both, that makes a lot of sense. I know that I wouldn't ever confront her about it, but it might make me more hesitant to be overly nice to her and do things for her for no reason.
Also, if I am doing something to make her angry, as this is a small and very in your face work environment, I would want to know.
I just don't like the feel of the environment lately. Its very us vs. them and there really arent enough people here that it should be like that. If I can be doing something different to not tick her off so much then I would do what I can to change so that things flow better. I know she wouldn't do the same, but if its for the greater good right?
I am so sorry that you have to deal with that every day, how awful!
I would not look down on you. I would be really tempted to look, but likely would not because of a serious guilt complex.
I would be worried about being caught though (some random person walking in). Also, what if they are not in her In Box? She may delete them, or file them in some weird place, so you may not even get to see what you are looking for. And with stuff like this, even if you cant do anythign about it now, at least you know exactly what you are dealing with if you do snoop. But I would also feel really guilty about snooping.
Not that I am helping, just my first thoughts. Best of luck whatever you decide.
There have been times I have had to go to a coworker and say... "Have I upset you?...Am I doing anything that is upsetting/annoying you?" When asked why you might think that you upset her...give xyz examples. It really shows that you're not a push over and that you want to get to the bottom of it....also it puts her on the spot about her behavior and that maybe she needs to get better at being fake or be truly nicer to you and your other coworker.
I can totally understand wanting to read it, and it would not change my opinion of you if you did.
I do agree with George-Anne 100% on this, because it's a workplace that has become uncomfortable and "hostile" I would want to attempt to do something about it. You shouldn't have to deal with that; a job is a somewhat permanent type situation, compared to my experience with a nasty roommate which did have an end in sight. I confronted her and she blew up in my face and it made the rest of the year REALLY sucky- like 5-6 months of silent treatment and ignoring me. I am not a confrontational person and that really upset me. If you don't mind the confrontation you could do as Kristi suggested and ask them if you upset them.
I'm currently somewhat annoyed with my one supervisor and so I really just minimize any chit chat and just do my job and do my best to ignore what she is doing, because nothing that I say or do would change her behavior. Just another thought to keep in mind depending how things proceed, that you probably will not be able to change their behavior except to the extent if the company HR gets involves, and even then some of it might still go on. You are the one who has the power to change your mindset and say I don't give a sh!t about what they say because they're jerks.
Good luck!!
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Ditto!
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