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Favors getting in the way of other favors

My cousin has asked if I could watch her 3yo daughter July 7th or  8th when she goes away.  After checking with DH, I told her the 8th would be better (per DH work sched).  She made arrangements accordingly.

MIL has been telling me that she wants to arrange a small "Coffee and..." with about 6 family members to see our new baby.  The schedules never seem to jive.  Today, MIL comes over our house and says to DH, "Did you check on the July 8th date?"  The two of them went on to debate the actual convo which took place between them.  DH apparently told me July 8th ok after his mom told him this was the date that works.  I went on to explain that I have my cousin's daughter.

MIL suggested that I either ask my cousin if I can take the child with me (which would be too chaotic in her museum-like home), or I ask my cousin if we can switch to the 7th (after my cousin has already made arrangements with other child care for the 7th). 

WWYD?

 

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Re: Favors getting in the way of other favors

  • I would either just take cousins daughter to the meeting or if MIL was not ok or the cousin was not ok then I would reschedule the meeting. Your and your husband both agreed on the 8th for your cousins daughter but not for the meeting.... first come first serve. Just explain everything and if they don't understand they will get over it

     

  • Tell MIL to pick another date entirely. You already have plans for the 8th where you are taking care of 2 children, I wouldn't want to have to take care of a toddler in a house that isn't childproofed.
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  • Your husband should be the one telling his mother that since he forgot to talk to you about that date, you made other plans and now are not available on that day. She needs to pick another day.
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  • Take the other child with you (although I think this is a bad idea), don't go or have your MIL pick another date.
  • "sorry, the 8th doesnt work for me".
  • imageSusanH.:
    "sorry, the 8th doesnt work for me".

    This, I would politely decline her invitation. Why is she making plans w/ you through your DH? That is weird. If you give up your plans to suit MIL she will expect this behavior.

  • imageSusanH.:
    "sorry, the 8th doesnt work for me".
    This is the best route.
  • Why doesn't dad take his 2 month old to his mother's house to visit with his family?

    Even if your are BF'ing, surely you can make a few hours work. Make it a short visit, send EBM, pump a little while little one is away.

    Also, I have a 3 year old and she is not a terror in new houses, not like it was as an 18 month old. Can you play outside? Bring a video? I think you can make a short visit, espciallly "coffee" work quite well.

    If you want to.  

  • imagelivingitup:
     

    Also, I have a 3 year old and she is not a terror in new houses, not like it was as an 18 month old. Can you play outside? Bring a video? I think you can make a short visit, espciallly "coffee" work quite well.

    Yeah, I'd take my own DD too, even at 3yo. But it's not her DD. It's her cousin. And taking someone else's 3yo to a non-related person's "museum-like" house sounds like a really really bad idea. Nightmarish even.

    Just say no, that date doesn't work. Or send DH alone with baby. But most people want to see the new mommy too.

    - Jena
    image
  • imageMaybride2:
    Your husband should be the one telling his mother that since he forgot to talk to you about that date, you made other plans and now are not available on that day. She needs to pick another day.

    I came to the same conclusion.  This is what the end result was.  

    However I first asked DH:

    "If we go to your mom's, can you please entertain my cousin's daughter there so she doesn't tear apart your mom's house?  I would like to have coffee with the ladies and the baby."

    DH:  "No!  You chase her around.  You're the one who said you would watch her."

    "Exactly.  That's why you can tell your mom that we are not available on that day."

    The end.

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