Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
my mom passed away...
my mom had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer March 09 and just died on Sunday. I was right there with her when it happened and honestly, it's kind of a blessing she isn't suffering anymore. She hadn't been my "mom" in over 2 years... it was time. But I'm grieving later things. My husband and I having children, special moments in my life... things like that. Not to mention that my husband is on tour with Miley Cyrus and is in Australia until July 4th... I don't know... I'm also on my period, I just feel like whining a little bit. 
Anyone lost their parents this young? I'm 26. How do you deal with it? I don't even know what to think or how to feel...
Re: my mom passed away...
Im sorry for your loss. It is a horrible thing to lose someone you love like your mom. Plus you feel all alone. I lost my mom 2 years ago suddenly and honestly im just starting to not dwell on it as much. The first year was pretty bad.
Do you have sisiters and brothers? My family helped a lot. My friends helped a lot. Even girls here helped a lot.
You can whine all you wnat you deserve it. Your mom is a peace, you said goodbye, she knew how much you loved her and you know she lo9ved you more than anything.
Cry, get angry, curse, slam things, whatever it takes to give you an hour of peace, then start all over again.
((HUGS)) I am sorry for your loss.
There is a book called "Motherless Daughters" that I think was helpful for SIL. SIL lost her mom when she was young, but a lot of the book applies to any age.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I was 22 when my mom passed away. That was almost ten years ago, and I still miss her a lot. I have also grieved (and still grieve) for future events that she won't be a part of. Holidays and special events (my wedding, for instance) have been especially tough. And it makes me sad to think that my future children will never know their grandmother.
There's not really any right way to deal with the loss of a parent. The best advice I can offer is just to let yourself feel what you're feeling, and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Eventually, life without mom will become the new "normal." It may still hurt, but you'll get used to it.
First, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad when I was 29 from pancreatic cancer. I completely understand the sentiment that is somewhat a relief that she passed, there reaches a point where they aren't themselves, and the suffering is unbearable for everyone.
I was 9 weeks pg with my father's first grandchild when he died - I dealt by throwing my heart and soul into growing a healthy baby. Which just delayed the inevitable. Of course I had to deal with the grief at some point, which for me was at the 1 year anniversary of his death.
I miss him like crazy still, 4 years later. there are days that I still just cry because he's gone, and there are so many things he's missing.
For me, the one thing that has helped immensely is getting involved with an organization that raises awareness/funding and does adovcacy for pancreatic cancer. It's helped me channel my anger into a healthy outlet, and I've met so many people who have been through exactly what I've been through. They are an incredible network of shoulders to cry on, and I feel like I'm making a difference for future patients.
I still often debate calling a grief counsellor, and may still at some point.
Cry, scream, throw things, whatever makes you feel better as long as it's not destructive to you or anyone else. Everyone grieves differently, there is no "right" way.
I'm so, so sorry you've had to go through this.
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12
I lost my Bio-Dad when I was 9, thank God my stepdad step in and took the role of Daddy for me. I always thought about what ifs though, when my husband and I got married, now that we are planning to have to a baby, and when my little brother graduated last month. It is hard, but you will get through it. Go ahead and whine, I still cry, it is normal. You will always think about her and she will always live in your heart. I am so sorry for your lost, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm 31 and I lost my mom less than two weeks ago. She had complications of pneumonia and was sick for a week -- she had been at my house for my son's birthday two weeks before she passed and was fine. I completely understand obsessing over the things that she will miss. I'm 38+ weeks pregnant and my mom will never meet her second grandchild. There are a million things that happen in a week that I think, "I need to call mom and tell her so-and-so..." and then it hits me all over again.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this without your husband as a present support system. I do know the loss you feel though.
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. It's really rough too that your H is away.
From my experience losing someone I was very close to (but not a parent), I would say that it took about two years and then it seemed like it got easier to deal with.
I could talk about her and laugh without then it turning to tears, if that makes sense. I got used to her being gone, but at the same time, the memories stay fresh, but they bring happiness, not sadness, at this point, 11 years after she died.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom died suddenly when I was 21 and my sister was 17. I miss her a lot even though it has been over 10 years. With time, you learn to accept the death but you never forget the beautiful memories and your loved one's legacy. I hope you can surround yourself with friends and loved ones to get you through this dark time.
Big hug...maybe your husband might be able to squeeze a quick visit back home to support you, do you have sibling or friends arround to be with you.
you'll have a lifetime to grieve your mom in the "future sense", try not to flood your emotions with all those...just deal with the here and now and if that is feeling at peace about her suffering ending, then feel at peace
First, I am very sorry for the loss of your Mom. It is a really difficult and hard thing to go through; I don't think a lot of people fully get it unless they have lost a parent and even then, we all handle it differently.
I lost my Mom when I was 24 after a 10 year battle with cancer. DH and I got married less than 7 months later and she was not there. I certainly have my moments where I just plain miss her and then other moments where I feel cheated that she wasn't here for my wedding or law school graduation and won't be here for the birth of my child, etc. Certain songs or smells remind me of her and for a second it will feel like I was punched in the stomach. A few things do make me feel better though. First, I work in the juvenile justice system and I realize how incredibly lucky I was to have a good Mom. There are not enough good Moms out there. Second, my Mom lived far longer than she was expected to and was so strong and upbeat the whole time. She taught me what it is to be a strong person, to take control of your own life and to just be happy for what you have. I don't think I would be as strong a person as I am had I not had her as my example. And third, I have a lot of friends who lost their Moms younger than I did. She was told she would die years before she actually did. Having her as long as I did is a huge, huge blessing.
Personally, I went to therapy twice. Two years when she was diagnosed and then six months when she died. I also read the book Motherless Daughters. Once I accepted the fact that I should be allowed to feel however I feel and do not need to necessarily be strong or brave or sad all the time or pine for her the rest of my life I just felt much more peaceful. I still have moments where I see a kid mouthing off at her Mom on the street and I want to punch her, or when I wish I could call my Mom up and talk to her but I feel like it's good to feel sad or angry sometimes.
I haven't been around much the last couple days so I'm a little late. But I wanted to say I'm sorry about your mom. I know it's not the same, but I lost my grandfather a couple months ago, but for the last month of his life (he had cancer), he was not my grandpa. The spark was gone out of his eyes.
In the 4 months since he passed, one of my cousins has gotten engaged and is getting married Sep. 9. Another cousin found out they are expecting and due the day before the anniversary of my grandfather's passing. While our family is over the moon with excitement for these two events, it's really hitting home that these are the first two major events grandpa won't be there for.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My mom passed away in November. She had been having medical issues for well over 10yrs and in the last 3-4 she wasn't my mom, so I know how you feel. I was glad she was able to be there for my wedding, but it was not the same, she wasn't the person she once was. I know for my mom I am just glad the hurt and daily pain is gone, it was no way to live. Sending hugs & t's & p's
P.S. I have this book
Author: Harold Ivan Smith
I lost my father unexpectedly 6 months before my wedding. I was with my future inlaws when I got the news and luckily they were very supportive. I shared lots of memories with my siblings. It was very hard on me because I had to do a lot of the planning with my Grandmother. Take time to grieve, don't keep it in!
So sorry for your loss.