October 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Destination Wedding Expectations
My cousin and his FI moved 900 miles away (he is in the army) and having their wedding in their new hometown. That's fantastic, especially since they now live near the beach. My issue is my cousin (and his immediate family) are expecting everyone in the extended family to make it to the wedding. In addition to me not being able to get the time off during the school year, it is a 14 hour drive and (right now) a $500 flight (per person). I just think if you have a destination wedding you have to realize not everyone can make it.
That's it, I just need to vent.
Re: Destination Wedding Expectations
I agree that they shouldn't expect everyone to make it. It's kind of unfair for the reasons you mentioned...time off and the expense of getting there.
I got married in Texas (where I live) and my family is almost all in NY...I completely understood that it wouldn't be possible for all of them to attend (although everyone except my great grandmother (who is 95) and my second cousin's family were able to be here, which was amazing!).
I think it's unfair to expect anyone (even local family and friends) to be at your wedding.
Megan & Chris
I totally agree, Christie. I also think destination weddings should have a very limited guest list, only immediate family and close friends...and even then I think the bride & groom should offer to pay for hotel reservations or at least a portion of it, but that's just my opinion.
To me destination weddings are more of a private event rather than a big family thing.
I agree that you should never expect guests to come to your wedding and it's rude to act that way.
However, I'm not trying to be rude here but I'm not sure it's really a typical "destination wedding"? It sounds like they just moved and they're having the wedding in their new hometown right? It's not like they're having a wedding down in Mexico and expecting everyone to attend? Maybe try to think about it that way so it doesn't get you as mad?
But in the end you guys just have to figure out if you're comfortable going and if you're not, don't feel bad about it - it seems to me you have plenty of reasons that would make it inconvenient.
bloggity blog
Ugh, tell me about it!! That's frustrating!
We're struggling with the same thing right now for the Oct wedding I'm in in FL. Even if we go just Friday-Sun just our flights and hotel are $900; then add in cabs to/from airports, boarding dog, gift, dress, etc and it's probably close to $1200+ after all said and done.
Plus while I love and adore the bride, she's from a Chicago suburb and so is her family. Groom's family is from Texas so either way they would have had to travel...I'm excited, but I kind of which she would have just done it in Chicago area since it'd be much less expensive
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I'm with Becca here. It doesn't seem to fit typical destination wedding criteria, but that being said, it sucks that you probably won't be able to make it. With the way families spread out across the country now a days, it can be tough weighing the pros and cons of where to have your wedding. We chose to have our wedding in my hometown, but DH's family isn't from there and most live across the country in CA. My sister chose to have her wedding in Oregon, in a town 2.5 hours from where she lives, because that's what worked best for her and that way she didn't have to plan a wedding long distance. However, her wedding was also pretty small and she definitely didn't expect anybody outside of her immediate family to come. I wouldn't feel guilty you guys can't make it. Send a nice gift and card and be done.
I consider a destination wedding one where 99% of the guests would need to book a hotel because of the long distance from their homes. Matt and I had a destination wedding in NY state. Neither of our families live in NY state (all but one of my guests needed passports to attend the wedding since they were coming from Canada), and almost all guests had to travel around 6 hours by car.
The bride clearly isn't thinking clearly if she thinks most people will be able to attend the wedding. Hopefully someone will explain it to her!
By this definition it is a destination wedding. The bride and groom are the only people who live in that town. The only other people not traveling in from out of town may be a handful of friends they have made in the few months they have lived there.
I will send a gift, but DH and I just discussed it again and traveling there is really not an option at this point in our life.