It's my turn :-)

goldengirl8710 · June 2011

I need y'alls help! I need some advice regarding my BFF from high school's bachelorette party. She's getting married in Aug. and I am a BM in the wedding. The MOH sent me an email today with details regarding the shower and bachelorette party. Most of the info I already knew about...but then at the end she states that the bride (my bff) is "dying" to have a male stripper at the bacehlorette party. She continues to say that strippers are pretty expensive and that she's thinking of asking all who are attending to help chip in. All fair and normal...I suppose.

Now....I can't stand strippers...male or female. I just don't get why people would want half to mostly naked strangers dancing on, around, or near you. I don't have anything wrong with people who have the profession for a living NOR do I have anything against the people who patron these businesses. It's just simply NOT for me. My dilemma...do I speak up to the MOH about how I'm not comfortable contributing? OR do I say something to the bride? OR do I say nothing, suck it up, and contribute b/c this is my bff from high school we're talking about?

I want to be supportive. I want to do everything she wants to help make it all special....but really...strippers?!?!?!?! :-/

hinmighty · June 2011

That is a tuffy!!! I personally would NOT feel comfortable being at a party where there are strippers. I know my DH would not appreciate it either. I don't personally understand why people who are getting married think it's ok to have a naked person grind all over them... I personally think that I would mention something to the MOH stating that I don't feel comfortable with the whole stripper thing. I have a feeling she is going to get a lot of slack from people when she starts asking everyone for money for a stripper. I don't think it's all that acceptable anymore. I would be curious to know what the other BM's think!

e_jakiela · June 2011

Ya I can totally see your point. I had to make sure my BMs don't get me one. I don't like male strippers - I just don't see the point. Anyways, one of my BMs still believed I had to have some sort of a ridiculous show and she booked our dinner at a place where transvestite/transgender men (basically men with boobs) were giving all brides to be lap dances... the food and music were sooooo good and the dancers were so much fun. I loved it...

This was more of a show to me, not an over-worked-out guy rubbing his junk into me and hoping I get aroused? or does he get aroused? weird, these male strippers... whenever I think of them I think of that episode of Friends when Danny deVito playes the stripper

stormchasersbride · June 2011

For me it would depend on how much $ she wanted. If it was a few $'s I would give it but say I wouldn't be around during that portion of the party. If it was $$$ I would say that I didn't feel comfortable contributing or participating in that portion of the party.

It is a hard situation... Sorry you have been put in it.

louieblue · June 2011

stormchasersbride:
For me it would depend on how much $ she wanted. If it was a few $'s I would give it but say I wouldn't be around during that portion of the party. If it was $$$ I would say that I didn't feel comfortable contributing or participating in that portion of the party.
It is a hard situation... Sorry you have been put in it.

ditto storm.

tinydancer842 · June 2011

You could always tell them I can't afford that, or I am not comfortable with strippers. You could offer the girls an alternative & say you guys could go to a strip club & I could sit out that part. No real reason you need to hire a private stripper. Also are you sure your friend would be into strippers at her party?

srveatch · June 2011

I completely understand not wanting to be a part of the stripper festivities. If it were me I would give some $ and make an excuse about why I can't go. After all this her party and if that's what she wants then that's what she should get. But that does not mean you need to be subjected to it! Good Luck, maybe she doesn't really want one as other pp have said.

ricarules9837 · June 2011

That's definitely a difficult situation... Yea, strippers are not really my thing either (I would so much prefer a spa day!!). I would suggest that you say something to the MOH about how you are a little uncomfortable contributing money to that and maybe give her a couple of other ideas on things you can do. If the bride really wants this and they don't like your other options I would say you should contribute some money, but don't go if you don't want to go. Not all of my BMs were able to make it to my shower, so I don't think they would make a big deal out of it. Sorry!

moshi's paw · June 2011

Talk to your friend who is getting married about it. Ask why she's "dying" to have a stripper at her party, and then tell her your personal concerns with the whole thing. Honestly it may be that the MOH is putting words in her mouth...girls like teh dramaz and such. If it's a big deal as far as $ goes, maybe you could pitch in a bit of $ and say that's all you can reasonably afford for this soiree, and then offer to take the bride out to dinner or even brunch the next day if that's a possibility. GL.

goldengirl8710 · June 2011

Thanks ladies for all the helpful advice! I feel a lot more at ease with the situation and more confident to voice my concerns. I just don't want to be "THAT" BM...if you know what I mean. ;-) I'll update y'all later with the outcome. Thanks again! :-)

It's my turn :-)

Re: It's my turn :-)

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