North Florida Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Age of Consent to Marry
For some reason in the morning when I'm getting ready for work, I'm thinking of topics to post on the Nest.... not what I need to get done that day 
I was thinking about that 50-something y/o actor marrying that 16 y/o girl & it got me thinking about the legal age of consent to marry.
So bring on your opinions: Across the board, what do you think should be the legal age of consent to marry? Do you think that if your parents have to sign for you, you're too young to get married? What about at 18? 21? 25?
Bonus points for discussion of age of consent for sex.
Re: Age of Consent to Marry
I don't think parents should be allowed to let their children marry. I think the legal age should be 18, no if's and's or but's. Of course people will have their reasons (military, health insurance, etc.) but I really don't think it's appropriate for anyone that young to be married.
For sex, it's such a grey area and that scares me a little. I don't think that anyone over 18 should be having sex with 16 yr olds, but I also don't think 16 yr. olds should be having sex... there's just no way to stop it.
If you need your parents to sign a consent form for you to get married, you are ABSOLUTELY too young to get married. That shouldn't even be an option in my opinion. Why is getting married that important that you can't wait a couple years?
In my opinion, you shouldn't get married until you can legally drink at your own wedding, but that's not something I think should be made a law like the first part. I just think you're too young to know what you're getting into at that point. I realize there are some people that get married at 19 and live happily ever after, but I don't think that's a norm. I think most people that get married that young end up divorced. Love is great, but it's not all you need in a marriage, and at that age, most people think love is all you need.
Obviously, I feel pretty strongly on this.
As far as age of consent for sex, I don't know. I lost my virginity when I was 15, almost 16, and I don't think I'm any worse off because of it. But I know I wouldn't want my 15 year old having sex! haha. I mean 18 makes sense to me... I don't know. I guess I don't have a good opinion on this part.
I agree if you have to have a parents consent to get married you are too young.
In my experience I think getting married after the age of 25 is good. I know a lot of people get married early and it works but I personally was not ready in my early 20's. I moved in with my BF when I was 20 thinking we would be getting married and quickly realized I needed to experience life and graduate college before I settled down. I met DH when I was 24 and it was perfect timing.
As far as sex I hope my daughter waits until she is 18 but 16 may be more realistic. I was def too young the first time I had sex but like Tara said I don't think think I am any worse off because of it.
I'm 25, got married at 23 and don't think anyone should get married until 30.
But just because people should wait, doesn't mean it should be illegal to get married before 30. I think 18 is an okay age for legal purposes, but I don't think there should be any exceptions even with parental consent.
Just out of curiosity, why do you think this is a good idea?
Almost every person whose gone to college in my family doesn't know what they're doing until the 2nd year or so. All of us, every single one that's gone to college, tried to go to a state college first, changed our major a couple times, got a little lost and then had to make up for lost time. A couple of my friends have done the same thing. I feel like its hard to know what you're going to do for the rest of your life when you're 18-19 and have gone to college level classes for a while.
I know that's just my family, and a couple friends. Obviously not everyone is like this, but I think junior college is a great way to get your feet wet and figure out what you're going to do before you spend tons of money at a university.
That makes sense. I don't agree that it should be mandatory at all, but I do think it should be more widely accepted as a track after high school and encouraged for students in some cases.
I disagree with the liberal art approach. I would have found a job and probably avoided school if that was required. This would be misery to me.
I also don't think everyone should go to college. I think community colleges (with no track to a university - just for an AA) and technical schools should be encouraged for a lot of people.
A bachelors degree is getting to the point (or already is) where it's like having a high school diploma now. A lot of the time it's a waste of money and time that could be better spent gaining experience in whatever field that doesn't require a degree anyway.
I completely agree.
But couldn't those classes be taken at a four year university? That's what freshman/sophomore year is spent doing for a lot of (most?) people. I didn't start taking classes specific to my major (which I changed four times) except for here and there until junior/senior year.
Yes they could. I personally would just rather pay for the cheaper classes at a junior college.
For me, when I declared music education and accepted a scholarship through the UWF music dept, they owned me. I had to take the classes they offered when they offered them because they wouldn't be offered again for another 2-3 years. One of my semesters was 21 hours because of all the music classes on top of a couple generals. When I changed my major and went to PJC, I had about 9 or so transferable hours. It really sucked.
If I had gone to PJC to begin with I would already have my degree.
Your experience isn't exactly normal though. Specialty departments such as Music do this for a reason - they want to weed people out. My ex was a Music major at FSU & he lasted a year & a half before he dropped out of the program. Its extremely demanding for a purpose. & IMO a music degree is kind of worthless unless you're going to teach, so it's a good thing you didn't continue down that path. What were you planning on doing with your Music degree? It seems like such a waste to put in all that time & effort to get a job that someone with a cakewalk degree could've gotten just as easily.
For most people, freshman & sophomore year in college is spent going to Baby Bio & College Algebra... regardless of whether or not he/she is at CC or a 4 year. Hell, I walked into college thinking I was going to be a Political Science major & then go to law school. Ha! Then I switched to English because I had to wait to be admitted to the Advertising program. I decided if I didn't get into Advertising, I'd switch to Sociology because I really wasn't a fan of the English department.
Total side track, but for the most part, I don't think a lot of people walking into college don't realize that your degree doesn't matter... unless you know you want to go into a really specialized field. Hell, I have a BS in Communications - Advertising & I work in Insurance. Had I known I was going to get into Insurance, I would've gotten a degree in Risk Management. My brother has a degree in Criminology & works in Mergers & Acquisitions for a large company. I wish someone would've explained that to me when I was 18.