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Update on my friend
She hasn't come to stay yet because she hasn't spoken to her husband but I am fuming for her right now.
As I mentioned before she is very religious. She moved here from another state 18 months ago and has become very involved with a local church, especially the music.
She spoke with a woman last week about her feelings and she betrayed her trust and went to her pastor and told him what was going on, so now she needs to speak with her husband ASAP. She just received an e-mail from her pastor saying that she is no longer welcome to participate in the worship team if she is considering leaving her husband.
I don't know what to say. I know that all churches are different and have different views on separation and divorce and I know that being an episcopalian I have a more relaxed view, but I truly feel that any church that is excluding her for not wanting to live a lie is not a church that I would want to belong to. I don't even know what to say. I know that she lives for the music in that church and to be told she can't do that is such a blow.
Re: Update on my friend
Oh wow. I would be leaving that church (and even that religion) if it were me. What kind of religion is this that you can betray your neighbor?!
I hope your friend is able to get through this, and you are a good friend for being there for her.
I know there are many religions that do not believe in divorce under no reason. I know at my church we accept people of divorces but there is a unspoken rule that no divorced person will have a lead role in the church meaning deacons mainly. But the unspoken rule generally does not apply to Sunday School teachers, committe members, and choir members to name a few. So I guess I could see that IF she was a high up in the church a leader of some sorts but if she is just singing in the choir honestly I do not understand that.
Also, I can not believe the pastor did not ask her to come into his office before he sent her the email to get her side of things. That is crap there and he is just doing it based on gossip since he did not hear it straight from your friends mouth.
This. He should have gotten her side of it.
I know at our church divorce people are not looked down upon, but I know other churches have rules but mostly higher ups (deacons, pastor, music leader, etc) like Carmen said. I don't see why they have a problem with her being in the choir, it is not like she is going to tell everyone in the choir to get a divorce or something.
I would be ticked off at the person she talked to and made sure never to say anything to her again.
Hopefully your friend can get things straighten and also not to stay in that marriage just because.
wow. just unbelievable. I'm very curious to know her denomination as well!