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An insert I received in a wedding invite...
I am the BM in an upcoming wedding and I received the invitation yesterday. I was appalled at an insert.
The invite was a beautiful white and silver theme with gorgeous lettering. It had directions to the church, etc... and then I pulled out a bright orange insert that said something along the lines of, "Hi and we are happy to celebrate this wonderful day with you. You are more than welcome to bring a friend, please write their name on the RSVP card. We are registered at Target! But since we have an established home, our registry is small. So, money for our honeymoon to the Bahamas would be much appreciated."
I could not believe it when I opened it. She told me that she might be asking me for some wedding planning advice, I wish she would have asked about this particular thing! I am speechless. :::SIGH:::
Obviously, the invites are out, so I am not going to say anything, but I find these inserts tacky and the way this one was worded was just unreal for a wedding invite. 
Would you say anything to her about it?
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
Re: An insert I received in a wedding invite...
I've seen one with an account number in it for monetary deposits!
I've seen one asking for target gift cards only!
tacky!
I wouldn't say anything, but I would definitely be thinking it!
you should send her a copy of Emily Post's etiquette book, with the proper pages marked for prompt attention.
Have you seen my monkey?
I know I am in the minority on this (as usual), but I don't see anything wrong with it. I wish it were socially acceptable to do this kind of thing. I don't see much difference in saying "Here is a list of crap we want, buy us something from it" and "In leiu of useless home decor items, please send cash as this wedding where we're going to feed and liquor you to your heart's content has totally tapped us out".
Since I knew people frowned upon this sort of thing, we had a VERY small registry, I'm talking less than 15 things, in the hopes that people would get the hint and give us cash. We just didn't NEED anything as far as registry items go. Nope. They just took it upon themselves to buy us random things (mostly not our style, and almost none came with a receipt).
Call me tacky, but I appreciate the honesty.
Well, I didn't invite people to my wedding for the gifts and I definitely didn't want my guests to think that was the case. With that said, the ONLY reason why we even registered for things is bc his Mom asked us to, because people were complaining that they didn't know what to get us.
I agree with the etiquette that there should be no mention of gifts anywhere with the invite. If you want money, then have people spread the word but don't put it in a tacky insert with a gorgeous invite.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
If they didn't want to be tapped out by inviting a butload of people to their wedding they should have gone to the JoP saved those dollars and splurged on their honeymoon or whatever else they "really" needed. It's not my job to pay for your honeymoon.
I'm still taken a back by the people who want cash for their wedding. I just don't get it
Well ya, subtlety is clearly not her strongpoint. I'd probably give her approach the side eye as well.
My point is, I've never seen much of difference between giving an itemized wish list, complete with SKU's and store aisle numbers, (essentially saying "Here, furnish our home") and asking for cash, yet the latter is frowned upon and deemed tacky.
I don't think anyone invites guests to a wedding for the gifts, but we all know they go hand in hand. Your guests complaining about not knowing what to get you proves my point.
But, but, but...how are brides supposed to have their SPAYSHUL day at the JoP?!?!? (kidding, of course, but you know the mindset of the majority of people getting married).
You're right, it's not your job to pay for their honeymoon. It's also not your job to furnish their kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, garage, etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is I think it's ALL tacky, traditional registries included, and IMO asking for cash is no more offensive than the rest of it.
The big difference I see is that registry lists are included in shower invitations, which are made and hosted by someone other than the bride and her parents. Therefore, someone other than the bride (or groom) is assuming that you are going to get them a gift and the couple isn't asking for a gift in the invitation to the wedding.
With that said one of my co-workers had a registry list with paypal donations toward their honeymoon and I thought it was tacky. They also had items like TVs and gadgets for their high-tech house.
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I just received a wedding invitation that had the honeymoon fund request ON THE INVITATION, not even as an added insert. They didn't even register anywhere, just for their honeymoon. Tacky.
(and this from a couple who claims SHE will never have to work a day in her life again.)
Any type of mention of ANY gift contained within a wedding invitation is unacceptable in my book.
Even though a shower IS, a wedding is NOT technically a gift-giving event, though it is customary for attendees to show appreciation to the hosts by bringing gifts.
I think registries are perfectly acceptable, as they are mere suggestions. But flat out asking for cash (whether it be for the honeymoon or not) is simply tacky, tacky, tacky. If the hosts need $ (for honeymoon, to set up house, etc.), they need to scale back on their wedding spending.
Trust me, plenty of people DON'T get this concept, as I get this question regularly from clients ("how can we ask our guests to give $ instead of gifts?") and the simple answer is, there is no socially acceptable way to SAY it.
very well said.
Yeah, it is an unspoken thing. Everyone knows people like money for gifts, they just don't say it.
Since they asked for the cash straight up, I bet money they get a lot of pot holders and mixing spoons from TJMaxx.
I just got an evite for a housewarming, and the second line says "I am registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond". :-/ I was going to ask her what she wanted, so I guess I am kind of glad I can just pick it out, but I was really taken aback when I saw that.
I wouldn't say anything - she would just worry about it - it's too late now!