Sex & Romance
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

sex is a chore

hi ladies!

i'm new to TN, just migrated over from TK, and i figured my first post might as well be on sex!

me and DH have been having sex for a few years now, so it's nothing new to me, but for some reason, i have a hard time *wanting* to have sex.

i have no idea why this is. i'm very attracted to DH, he's constantly trying to pursue me sexually, and i enjoy sex very much once we get into it. it's just the getting into part initially that i have a hard time with. there are very few moments when i'm the one the wants to initiate sex.

 any thoughts on this one? i'd appreciate a little insight. thanks! 

image

Re: sex is a chore

  • I feel the same way. I've tried going on different birth control pills, thinking it was the hormones, but I think I just have a low sex drive....or the fact that you're with someone now and are more comfortbale. I've been trying to think positive and think of more exciting ways and so far it's working. We just got back from our honeymoon so I'm trying for a fresh start when it comes to sex to make our marriage healthy and happy. Wedding stress is over, time to start a happy marriage!

     PS I also live close to TN (right on the GA/TN border)...welcome to TN!

  • imagelbig0426:

    I feel the same way. I've tried going on different birth control pills, thinking it was the hormones, but I think I just have a low sex drive....or the fact that you're with someone now and are more comfortbale. I've been trying to think positive and think of more exciting ways and so far it's working. We just got back from our honeymoon so I'm trying for a fresh start when it comes to sex to make our marriage healthy and happy. Wedding stress is over, time to start a happy marriage!

     PS I also live close to TN (right on the GA/TN border)...welcome to TN!

     

    yeah, i don't think it was wedding stress, although it could be, who knows. i've kinda always been this way with him. but now that we're married, i don't want my low sex drive to negatively affect our marriage.

     

    also, sorry for the confusion! i meant TN as in The Nest :) but i am moving to GA! near savannah! 

    image
  • I feel the same way and my husband tries the same stuff. I tried different pills and even tried going off of them using other forms of protection and nothing worked.  it was killing our relationship.  i started looking into it further and met with doctors and actually found out my testosterone levels were non existence which means you have no libido.  I am not on hormone replacement and i have a drive like i used to when i was 17 just going on birth control.  To be 24 with no sex drive sucks!

     

    Good luck! 

  • During a woman's cycle, we feel more in the mood when we are most fertile.  I wish I felt more in the mood all month long.  It seems like my drive has gone down in the past year or so.  I have only been married about half a year, but I have less drive than I ever had in general.  Not sure why.
  • We've been married just under a year and we have had to adjust our sex life.  We did not live together before we got married and for much of our relationship, we were a couple of hours apart.  When we saw each other we always wanted sex.  

    Now, being married and living together, there is not the same anticipation and time in between seeing each other.  We have found that the more we have it, the more we want it!  Like you, I don't always feel in the mood, but once we get started, it is great.  I just keep this in the back of my mind and say yes when DH is in the mood.  It really has made a difference.  

    Good luck! 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers



  • ******************************************

                 POST DELETED.
      DO NOT SPAM OUR BOARDS! 

    ***************************************** 

  • imageverymegv:

    i have no idea why this is. i'm very attracted to DH, he's constantly trying to pursue me sexually, and i enjoy sex very much once we get into it. it's just the getting into part initially that i have a hard time with. there are very few moments when i'm the one the wants to initiate sex.

     

    I feel like I could have written this myself! We've been married 2 months, but have lived together for a year and this has been an issue for a few months now. I've been switching BC pills, but no luck yet. 

  • I think that, as a woman, it is common to have these feelings.  I did as well since I have been with DH for several years as well.  Now we are trying for a baby, so we have lots of sex (haha!) but before that it was really hard for me to get in the mood too.  I just started forcing myself to try to get into the mood...I would put on lingerie for him...or make the move first so it wouldn't feel like a chore from him initiating always.  We also "shortened" the sessions...that made it easier for me and him both.  We are married now...I don't feel like we ALWAYS have to have tons of foreplay...sometimes its a little kissing, then sex!  And that is perfect for both of us when I am not in the mood but then he is still fulfilled...and that makes me feel good too.  It works out well for us :)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • How did you get your levels tested? Did you just tell your doctor and they ordered the tests? Or was it a rigamorale to get them to listen to you?  You say you are not on hormone replacement therapy--what are you doing that works for you? Thanks!
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards