September 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

BC: Something Borrowed: Men, Women, & Cheating

Disloyalty is a major theme in this novel. How differently do men and women view cheating with a friend? Why is Darcy so indignant when she catches Dex and Rachel together when she has been having an affair of her own?
my read shelf:
Jo's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
Blog

Re: BC: Something Borrowed: Men, Women, & Cheating

  • imagexojo1:
    Disloyalty is a major theme in this novel. How differently do men and women view cheating with a friend? Why is Darcy so indignant when she catches Dex and Rachel together when she has been having an affair of her own?
    Darcy is only upset b/c she probably cannot imagine any man choosing Rachel over her. I also didn't think that Darcy felt as guilty about her affair as Rachel did, but one could argue that Rachel's affair was "worse" as her alleged best friend was engaged to her lover. I just don't know how realistic any of this was.
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I agree with Claire in that Darcy was only pissed off because she wasn't chosen over Rachel.  She was just the type of person that always had to be first even if Dex wasn't her first choice.

    As far as how men and women view cheating differently.  I think it depends on the man or woman in question.  I know Alexi views certain things as cheating that some of my ex's wouldn't and I know that he and I agree on what constitutes cheating (i.e. Weiner's sexting and sharing naked pictures on Twitter = cheating). 

    ~DD born 3-25-10~DS born 6-5-12~
    imageimage
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers imageimage
  • Totally agree that Darcy was upset about not being the chosen one and the shock at having Rachel chosen over her.  

     

    image
    Planning bio My DIY blog The Maine Bio

    2012 Reading Challenge

    2012 Reading Challenge
    Jaime has read 18 books toward her goal of 50 books.
    hide
  • imagejaimebeth9:

    Totally agree that Darcy was upset about not being the chosen one and the shock at having Rachel chosen over her.  

     

    This exactly!

    imageimage
    A+S | Met 8/24/06 | Married 9/27/08
    Started TTC 12/2008 | dx PCOS 5/2009
    6 failed clomid/femara/TI cycles, 1 failed clomid/ovidrel/IUI cycle
    Successful Cycle: 5/12/11 - 1000mg Metformin + 100mg Clomid(late response) + TI = BFP
    ? 2/13/12 - We proudly welcomed our daughter, Hadley Teresa! ?
    ? Lots of Luck to all of 3T/IF ?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Vacation
  • xojo1xojo1 member
    Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker

    imageNineTwentyOhEight:
    imagexojo1:
    Disloyalty is a major theme in this novel. How differently do men and women view cheating with a friend? Why is Darcy so indignant when she catches Dex and Rachel together when she has been having an affair of her own?
    Darcy is only upset b/c she probably cannot imagine any man choosing Rachel over her. I also didn't think that Darcy felt as guilty about her affair as Rachel did, but one could argue that Rachel's affair was "worse" as her alleged best friend was engaged to her lover. I just don't know how realistic any of this was.

    I agree with everything you said, Claire. Also, I don't think you can really classify affairs as "worse". It's all bad, IMO. 

    I think men and women typically view cheating differently. I think men can get over a friend cheating easier than women can if the affair doesn't last.  

    my read shelf:
    Jo's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Blog
  • Kasi80Kasi80 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    Disloyalty is a major theme in this novel. How differently do men and women view cheating with a friend?  I think it really is dependent on the person's views.  I can't say all men think one way and all women think another. 
     
    Why is Darcy so indignant when she catches Dex and Rachel together when she has been having an affair of her own?  Ahhh, because *she* was not the chosen one.  She's used to winning and she lost this round.  She is so selfish that she doesn't even feel remorseful about her own wrongs doings.  All she sees is that SHE is the one who Dex doesn't want any longer. 

    CRAFTY ME 

    my read shelf:
    Kasi's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)

  • imagefirewife9278:
    imagejaimebeth9:

    Totally agree that Darcy was upset about not being the chosen one and the shock at having Rachel chosen over her.  

     

    This exactly!

    Yes 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    2012 Reading Challenge

    2012 Reading Challenge
    Becky has read 2 books toward her goal of 50 books.
    hide
  • I have to agree that Darcy was mad she wasn't chosen, I think an affair is an affair, no matter what brought you to the situation, be classy and break up before you cheat.
    image
    Books read in 2011: 111
    Books read in 2012: 100
    Books read in 2013: 75
    Books read in 2014: 130
    Books read in 2015: 98
    my read shelf:
    Jennifer's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • imagexojo1:

    imageNineTwentyOhEight:
    imagexojo1:
    Disloyalty is a major theme in this novel. How differently do men and women view cheating with a friend? Why is Darcy so indignant when she catches Dex and Rachel together when she has been having an affair of her own?
    Darcy is only upset b/c she probably cannot imagine any man choosing Rachel over her. I also didn't think that Darcy felt as guilty about her affair as Rachel did, but one could argue that Rachel's affair was "worse" as her alleged best friend was engaged to her lover. I just don't know how realistic any of this was.

    I agree with everything you said, Claire. Also, I don't think you can really classify affairs as "worse". It's all bad, IMO. 

    I think men and women typically view cheating differently. I think men can get over a friend cheating easier than women can if the affair doesn't last.  

    Ditto to all of this!

  • imagexojo1:
    Disloyalty is a major theme in this novel. How differently do men and women view cheating with a friend? Why is Darcy so indignant when she catches Dex and Rachel together when she has been having an affair of her own?

    It seems to me that men seem more relaxed about cheating with a friend as if they don't get caught up in it as much and think about all the feelings and how different things will be if it doesn't work out.  They seem to think about the here and now and not the what if's.

    Darcy is probably just upset that Dex chose Rachel over her because she is used to be the "chosen" one.  She probably thought she was having her cake and eating it too and realized that that wasn't the case at all.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards