September 2008 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BC: Something Borrowed: Rachel & Darcy
Time for our first BC discussion! I'll start a few posts with various questions. Feel free to start your own if there is anything you want to talk about. I've been looking forward to today. 
Is anything about Rachel and Darcy?s friendship genuine? Do you believe it has changed over time? Why does Rachel defend Darcy against attacks from Ethan and Hillary? Compare and contrast Rachel?s friendship with Hillary and Ethan to her friendship with Darcy.
Re: BC: Something Borrowed: Rachel & Darcy
I don't think that the Darcy/Rachel dynamic was ever much different, although Rachel finally did start thinking of herself...but not really, because she should have left that horrible friendship and pushed for her own happiness.
Rachel let herself be bullied by everyone - her friends, her parents, Dex. At least she finally stood up for herself, sort of, by giving Dex an ultimatum, but it was kind of too little too late.
Is anything about Rachel and Darcy?s friendship genuine? I don't think so. I think Darcy stayed in the friendship b/c she thrived on having someone to boss around and Rachel was her doormat and just accepted that. Rachel's personality led her to just be a pushover.
Do you believe it has changed over time? Not really. Even reading Rachel's memories from their childhood as children Darcy still seemed bossy and selfish while Rachel let her walk all over her.
Why does Rachel defend Darcy against attacks from Ethan and Hillary? Because she's loyal even when Darcy was a total douche to her. I wish she would've stuck up for herself towards Darcy in the end.
Compare and contrast Rachel?s friendship with Hillary and Ethan to her friendship with Darcy. I loved Ethan and thought Darcy's friendship with him was more genuine. I also liked Hillary and I think her and Darcy will become close over time without Darcy in the picture. I think Hillary will show Darcy what a true friend should be.
My own little aside is that Darcy and Rachel's relationship really reminded me of my relationship with my ex-BFF. I was Rachel in that relationship and I really didn't see the full extent of it until she was out of my life. Reading this book brought back a lot of those memories especially the birthday party for Rachel where her BFF steals the spotlight. My ex-BFF was totally like that. She probably would've stollen the spotlight at my wedding had she not quit the bridal party when I chose a BM she didn't like. I'm glad I stuck up for myself and I wish Rachel had done that to Darcy.
I think their friendship is not unlike a lot of others that I have heard of/seen. It almost mirrors one I had in my younger days (like ages 8-15).
Rachel's almost like the battered wife...she's so used to the abuse and playing 'second fiddle' to Darcy that it's the norm for her.
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Is anything about Rachel and Darcy?s friendship genuine? I'd say no. I agree that it seems like they stayed friends because Rachel felt a loyalty while Darcy thrived on having a friend like Rachel. It was more take than give, which does not describe a real friendship to me.
Do you believe it has changed over time? Not really. That is what I think the problem is. Friendships should evolve to continue to be strong and this one didn't. To have this kind of friendship as a teen is typical, but as an adult it just doesn't make sense.
Why does Rachel defend Darcy against attacks from Ethan and Hillary? I think part of the reason she defends Darcy is because doing so helps her justify their relationship. If she joined in on the attacks, she would be admitting to herself that they really weren't friends.
Compare and contrast Rachel?s friendship with Hillary and Ethan to her friendship with Darcy. Her friendship with Ethan evolved from childhood to adult where with Darcy it just stayed the same. Same with Hillary - it was an adult relationship with give and take on both ends.
I also had a friend in high school that was very much take, take, take all the time. We are no longer friends (more acquaintances than anything) but from stalking her fb I imagine it wouldn't have changed much if we had remained friends. I think this may be where my soft spot for Rachel comes from, even though I don't want to like her.
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I definitely agree. Like I said, I think a lot of the reason she sticks with it is to justify it to herself.
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Is anything about Rachel and Darcy?s friendship genuine? Not really. I think on Darcy's part she felt like she had to always outshine Rachel. How she did this was by using her looks. She definitely was insecure because Rachel may not have been gorgeous, she was smart. I feel like Rachel, when a kid and in her early 20s, may have liked all the attention Darcy's looks and flirtatious ways brought but later in life I think she was over it.
Do you believe it has changed over time? Nope. I think the dynamics of their friendship stayed the same throughout.
Why does Rachel defend Darcy against attacks from Ethan and Hillary? Because she's an idiot. OK, really though, because she's been walked on so much by her supposed BFF that she doesn't realize that her friendship isn't a real one.
Compare and contrast Rachel?s friendship with Hillary and Ethan to her friendship with Darcy. Hillary and Ethan actually look out for Rachel and her best interests. They see right through Darcy and her manipulative ways. They don't use Rachel as Darcy does.
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Is anything about Rachel and Darcy?s friendship genuine? No, I believe there has to be some give and take on both sides of a friendship or it won't last and you may be friends with a person like that for a bit but you move on because there's really no basis to the friendship.
Do you believe it has changed over time? No, I think it's been the same way forever.
Why does Rachel defend Darcy against attacks from Ethan and Hillary? Honestly I don't get that, Rachel was like a junkie and couldn't see the truth right in front of her face.
Compare and contrast Rachel?s friendship with Hillary and Ethan to her friendship with Darcy. Hillary and Ethan were true friends, who cared about Rachel and their friendship was based on truly liking a person and not taking advantage for personal benefit.
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Is anything about Rachel and Darcy?s friendship genuine? I don't think so. I feel like Darcy just liked to have someone around who she could walk all over. She treated Rachel horribly and Rachel let her.
Do you believe it has changed over time? Yes. I think that as children they had the childhood best friendship where you do sleepovers and all of that, but as they got older maybe even starting in high school is when Darcy became the more dominant friend while Rachel just stood by and watched.
Why does Rachel defend Darcy against attacks from Ethan and Hillary? I think she feels that she has to because they have been "friends" for so long. No other reason than that.
Compare and contrast Rachel?s friendship with Hillary and Ethan to her friendship with Darcy. Rachel's friendship with Hillary and Ethan was more real. It was a give and take relationship in which Rachel could be herself and talk about her feelings. Her friendship with Darcy seemed more forced and just there for the benefit of having someone to hang out with. I think that her relationship with Darcy was more out of habit and routine than an actual true friendship.