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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How to talk to little girls
Just read this article and thought it was interesting enough to share. I feel like I need to analyze how I talk to my friend's little girls now to see what I say. I do think the author of the article has a valid point about how little girls grow up to have body image issues. I have seen many 4th and 5th graders at my school wearing makeup and what I would consider inappropriate clothing for that age.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ir=Women
Re: How to talk to little girls
I saw that a few days ago - really good stuff.
I try to be conscious of this w/ DD and with other little girls, but it really is hard sometimes b/c they are so damn cute! I see with the slightly older girls at daycare (like 4ish) they light up if give them attention for something academic/intellectual or if they are being really helpful, caring w/ the younger kids.
I always try to balance the cute/beautiful comments to DD w/ smart and strong. Also I can't lie, I lavish DS w/ comments about how gorgeous he is. I can't help it!
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Yeah, I agree with the article except I don't think NEVER telling a girl she's beautiful would have the intended outcome. I think Daisy is right to balance the comments and to give the same to son and daughter.
Imagine the girl whose mother always tells her she's a genius and never that she's beautiful. Girl hears other mothers telling their daughters they are beautiful and thinks "Mommy must not think I'm pretty so she only says I'm smart"
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To me the balancing is key. If a child is beautiful or has great eyes or whatever, I see nothing wrong with telling them that. Everyone likes compliments, even appearance-based ones. But if those are the only compliments a child receives, or if a boy only receives compliments for doing well in sports, etc - that is the issue in my mind. I always tell my nephew that I think he's beautiful, and I compliment him when he is being nice to someone or when he is playing well with the dogs or reading an interesting book etc. My nieces are freaking gorgeous and also scary smart and I tell them both that. I was telling the younger one how smart she was when she was 2 months old (you could see it in her eyes, I swear, lol.) I don't think telling her that she is pretty is a bad thing when it's balanced out with the smart and strong.
It bothers me sometimes when its' assumed that telling a girl she's pretty or has this cute ruffly skirt is viewed as a bad thing. Maybe I'm weird but I always knew I was smart. I never thought I was pretty. My mom's mother told her all the time how smart she was and it gave my mother serious self-esteem issues becuase she never heard she was pretty. It can go both ways.
I definitely agree that there has to be a balance in how you compliment both boys and girls. I do think that social media definitely targets the "you must be thin and beautiful" message towards girls/women which leads to more eating disorders, obsession over makeup/clothing etc.