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MIL frustrations
I'm fairly new to this forum, but have a serious need to vent some rising frustration. My MIL has been driving me insane! No matter how many times my DH and I explain what is happening with his Air Force career she always thinks she knows more than we do! Today she was telling me what I "needed" to know because she had found some website that apparently explained everything about being in the USAF. And on top of all of that I'm in my second trimester of my first pregnancy and she's already planning vacations in which she will take our child. (** its important to note here that she is in denial that we are going to be on the opposite side of the US when the baby is born and have no intentions about ever moving back.) I'm about to lose my mind!! Both of my parents were USAF so they are completely supportive and understanding, but my in-laws have no clue, and still think they are experts!
I apologize for the rant, and thank you just for reading this through. Hope everyone's day is going better!
Re: MIL frustrations
Eh I get this from FIL a lot. He tried to tell us everything about J's army career because he was in the marines 30 plus years ago for a year or few (not sure how long but it wasn't long). I mostly just nod and ignore. As for vacation well when she actually starts planning them jsut say I don't think that will work for us.
Just never tell me about the dream base list. FIL tries to tell us all the time what should be on ours (mostly bases tha are closer to them). We just listen go uh-huh and then never put it on the list.
ETA: what beach says don't answer and let them a voicemail. Then you can judge if it is important or not, and talk to her on your own terms.
The Dogs and Us
Don't talk to her about it. If she brings it up, change the subject or tell her your husband (or a mentor, or someone in your H's chain of command, just make someone up) already filled you in on everything you need to know.
If she pushes, it's okay to say, "Oh! Dinner's in the oven and boiling over! Gotta run!" or tell her someone else is beeping in.
Change the subject about the kid thing too. No sense in stressing yourself out over something you have 100000% control over.
I don't know your MIL but it sounds like she is over-excited about your lives right now. (Perhaps trying to live vicariously through you as well)
Ditto to what Ojo said. Just try to change the subject and steer the conversation away from the AF and babies right now. If she insists, put your foot down. Establish boundaries on what subjects you want to communicate with her.
I hear you. MIL insists that DH is never, ever, ever, ever, going to be deployed. She thinks only enlisted Airmen get deployed. Ha.
Also, she had the nerve to say to me the other day, "I hope you don't plan on breastfeeding [DS] past one year, because as soon as he turns one I am taking him to New York alone for a few weeks." Um, no you're not. I will breastfeed as long as DS and I damn well please, and you are not taking my child anywhere alone for a few weeks.
Thanks for the advice ladies! My DH has been trying for years to cut the umbilical cord but she just keeps hanging on. The part that is making this hard is that my DH is gone for several weeks and I'm my MIL's only point of contact.
On the whole baby thing, she went out and bought a crib, BOY clothes, stroller, and decor when we were only 7weeks. My DH told her that she was becoming too overwhelming and needed to give it a rest. :0) Will be sooo grateful when he gets back and can help me reinforce the boundaries!
this. Or helpful, she might be concerned about being left behind, especially if your fam was AF. If it were me, I would aknowledge her input, thank her and move on.
ETA: I guess I was unclear if you have kids or are expecting, but if thats the case (with the vacation thing) just establish something like "that will be something we will plan if/when we feel comfortable with our kids doing that" something vauge but firm that you dont want to talk about it now. And for the baby stuff, what would probably be helpful would be saying things like "we know youre excited, however we are waiting to do/get things" and if you dont want her buying the stuff, just say its something you and YH want to do together.
I changed my name
Ditto this. I'm in the same situation with my grandmom. Her brother was a career Marine so she started out on the know-it-all train too. I told her that things constantly change and it is not the same military as when her brother was serving. She finally dropped it after she was proved wrong a few times. She was also buying baby clothes and designing our nursery when I was barely out of my first tri. I told her I'd think about her input and changed the subject.
I agree with all of this.
Next time she brings it up, smack her on the face. Repeat as necessary.
You are welcome in advance.
67/200
Mary, thank you for making me choke on my root beer.
Hahahaha. Thank you for giving me the best laugh of the day. It's a tempting suggestion believe me!