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Family drama...my sister's wedding....
My sister is getting married next month, and my older sister says that she doesn't want to attend the wedding because apparently my teenage neice (DD of the bride) told her cousins (my other sisters daughter) that my sisters fiance tried to get out of the way with her. My niece later admitted that she was not telling the truth, and that it never happened, and since then all of them have gone to counseling.
My sister says she is not going to the wedding because she doesn't condone what she thinks happened, and she is trying to convince my mom not to go...she has been againist the relationship from the very beginning, and I'm beginning to think it is because of jealousy because my sister doesn't go out with her anymore now that she is in a relationship. She has been acting like this even before my neice said the things that she said, and now she is using this as an excuse not to support the our sister getting married.
What I do not to understand is that she has been in a very abusive relationship for years, and her boyfriend (the father of one of her kids) has done sooooo many things it will take to long to mention. He just got out of jail for giving her a black eye, and she picked him up from jail and he is back living with her. He has been in and out of jail for the last 7+ years for domestic violence. So she should be the last one to talk about someone elses relationship....
No one can prove what my neice said, and my sisters fiance told his entire family about what he was being accused of, and he confronted my niece in front of my sister, and she didn't say anthing...so no one can really find out what happened. So they all eventually got passed it and continued with the wedding....I will be at the wedding because I feel if they got past their issues why wouldn't I??
Thanks for reading...Have a great day!
Re: Family drama...my sister's wedding....
My mom is a grown woman and she can make her own decisions...I already told her that I'm going no matter what, and she said that she is also going...I just feel sorry for both my sisters...I just don't understand why there is so much confusion when celebrating happy moments, but as soon as a funeral or something not so good happens it brings joy!! I just don't understand!
I'm confused a little keeping sisters and daughters straight in your story...but at one point you said that the niece who made the accusation confessed that it was a lie, correct? Then later you said that no one can prove anything so no one can figure out what really happened. Those two things are contradictory...can you clear that up? If there was an outright confession, then the girl could give a reason for her making the accusation. Depending on that, I'd decide if she's being cowed into recanting, or if this was just a teen running a line for drama.
How old is this neice? Am I right that she had said the guy raped her or was I reading this wrong?
she is 16 years old, and I believe that she is active. She didn't say he raped her, she was saying that he touched her inappropriatley...and now she denies having said that...
For me her age, and what actually happened (her confessing to lying, her changing a story OR her being lied about) makes a huge difference in what I would do.
This and any details of the incident provided by your niece would play a part in my decision as well. I probably would still attend the wedding..but that's just me.
When exactly did your niece take back her accusation? When your sister allowed her fiance to confront her daughter over it?
I don't blame your older sister - regardless of her own situation, it sounds like this was handled HORRIBLY and your niece was never actually taken seriously, and quite possibly bullied into recanting.
Just lurking, but I agree with this. Children, teens, adult men and women will recant their stories and take the fall themselves if they feel they are not being supported/believed. Why do you think so many rape charges get dropped. I would stand with your older sister and possible try to get the daughter out of that situation, sounds awful.
From what little you have provided, I can only agree with casmgn and navy. I cannot believe the recantation, only forthcoming when the man accused of touching her inappropriately confronted her, is an actual recantation. Sounds to me like no one believed her, the police were not called, etc etc.
And it sounds like both your sisters have real princes for partners. Please tell me this is not a family thing, and your dh is normal?
my sisters fiance tried to get out of the way with her.
What the hellll does this mean?
This
Yeah, I stopped reading after that because I didn't know what you were talking about.
OP later describes this as inappropriate touching.
I want inappropriate touching defined. Where, how much, how often, etc.
An accidental boob brushing is not the same as cornering her and feeling her up; and that's not the same as him doing this more than once; and that's not the same as him creeping into bed with her after she's fallen asleep.
My own SILs are such drama queens that they wouldn't need a huge accusation to create a feud, not attend an event, etc. I'm guessing that your sister (the non-bride) is acting true to form.
If you suspect the fiance is a child molestor, then I would talk to your sister before the wedding and tell her how you feel. I would also keep your children from him (I would actually do this even if you are unsure - better safe than sorry). However, if this is just sister-drama, then I would let them know that you make your own choices, and aren't giving into their drama.