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Disconnected?
I feel that Rusty are disconnected right now. We haven't been fighting or anything, we just haven't had time to really talk about anything. Some of our friends bought a house and Rusty has been over there every weekend and several nights during the week helping them fix it up for the past month or so. Between that and hanging with Parker we haven't had an "adult" conversation for at least a week. I honestly can't think of the last time we talked for more than 30 minutes. We usually catch up when we go on walks with the kid and dog, but it has been too hot to take Parker so we haven't had that time.
Does anyone else ever feel disconnected? What do you do to reconnect? We are going out to dinner Saturday with some friends, but Rusty is doing a side project with his dad all weekend so we won't see much of each other this weekend too. By the time Parker goes to bed I'm usually doing laundry, making dinner for the next night, and whatever else that needs done around the house. We are just kinda feeling like roommates right now and I hate that feeling.
This got long. Sorry!
Re: Disconnected?
I felt like that with J before. I think we both just got too caught up in everything else (work stresses, mainly). Now, we're more connected than ever. I think we both have just made a point to put other things on the back burner and focus on us more.
My advice would be to do the same, if possible. See if you can get a sitter for Parker and go out just the two of you...even if it's just for a few hours.
You just need to carve out some time strictly for you guys. And like Kari said, it doesn't need to be a whole weekend, or even a whole evening. Maybe just meet up for lunch somewhere, or take a quick trip to a mall or something. Or just go for a walk in a park (with trees for shade!).
H and I will get to where we've just been doing the same thing, over and over and over and over again. Like, we're spending time together alone, but it's always doing the same kind of things. So we'll try and branch out and do something a little different early on in the day (go drive down some of the scenic country roads around us, take a walk through a natural area, whatev.) and that usually helps spark some different conversation just by changing the scenery. And remember, you've got a lot on your plates right now with the little man and friends and things, so it's important to take a small amount of time to focus on you as a couple!
Exactly! And there's nothing wrong with that. I used to feel guilty when I did that..not anymore.
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Maybe you should schedule something officially with him during that time, so you can be sure that he doesn't agree to help work on the house or something else... even if you don't decide what you're gonna do... to just know that time is set aside... that'd be awesome. I vote for a romantic candlelit dinner, at home, in the park or something where you can be just together... and definitely some "special" time... no tv, no phones, just hubs and wife! Enjoy!
I think it's completely normal to feel that way sometimes. I definitely felt like that when Steve was traveling so much.
Glad to hear your mom is going to watch Parker and give the two of you some alone time. I'm sure if you just take the evening and do something relaxing together you will feel a lot better.
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I get that way with Matt from time to time. Usually it just means we need to spend some time together... even with Maggie. Sometimes we take a Saturday and spend the day just the 3 of us and go to lunch or a park or something. I never feel more connected than when we are together as a family.
Other things we do are go to dinner, a movie, or just get a movie together and watch it after Mags goes to bed. Nothing extravagant... just getting down to what is important.
Lance and I sometimes get caught up in life and get disconnected. I agree with everyone else that you guys should schedule something for just the two of you, and it sounds like you should be able to manage something soon, so that is great!
I've also found that doing something different that you've never done before (just the two of you or as a family) helps to reconnect
Thanks everyone. We talked last night and he was feeling the same way. He suggested going to a park down the street that is haveing a 4th of July party with a pool, bands, food, etc on Monday just the 3 of us. That should be fun, but I hope it isn't too hot.
It is nice to know that I'm not the only one!
Yvonne, I can't imagine what you are going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day! You are a much stronger woman than I am!