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Changing routine, but also doing what works?
Hi all,
Just moved in with FI and are going to be married next summer. The two of us are very open about wanting to try new things, wanting to do it more often, what to change, using props, roll playing, what "went wrong" during a certain time, etc. No problems talking or risk taking
My "problem" is that I seem to be at a stand-still because I am not willing to sacrifice my orgasm in order to be more adventurous. I already am very frustrated that "quickie" always means he orgasms and I don't. So when we are actually "making love" I want to get my orgasm FOR SURE.
The only thing that has worked for me in my years of being sexually active is clitoral stimulation... manual that is...have never had success with the "girl on top" rubbing against shaft, etc... We are now falling into a routine of how sex works.... He fingers me, I orgasm, he has sex with me, we're done, and he passes out. How can we get out of this routine and do things differently while I still "get mine" ?? (even if we add a vibrator or cuffs... it's still the same ROUTINE! BLAH!!!)
The anticipation of the routine has made it hard for me to become aroused when he is trying to initiate, and me self-conscious to initiate, so I wanted to ask for advice before we have a different problem on our hands.
Thanks everyone 
Re: Changing routine, but also doing what works?
Sorry, but IMO, it does not seem like you want to change your routine since you are not willing to sacrifice your orgasm. If you are really wanting to get out of that rut & change things up a bit, then be adventurous! Otherwise, you are going to stay in that same rut just to get your "O" face on & one or both of you are going to get bored. And you say that you can only reach it with manual stimulation... have you ever tried to stimulate yourself while he is making love to you? (ex, he is on his knees in front of you, almost missionary position) Or has he ever done oral to you? My advice is to change things up, try new things... and have fun with it.