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What do you do when friends share TMI??
We've been here at Campbell for 7 months for training and are PCSing next week. Since we weren't here very long I didn't have a chance to make a lot of friends. My husband's stick buddy is our age and has a girlfriend who is 6 years younger than him and they have been together for 9 months. My husband and I and those two are the only couples in the company who do not have children so we really hit it off and her and I have become pretty good friends in the past few months.
Since they are at the point in their relationship that they cannot keep their hands off each other, she feels the need to update me on their weekend escapades every time she comes here to visit and it makes me super uncomfortable. I have never been one to talk about my sex life with anyone, but especially someone I have known a few months. She goes into great detail even telling me about his size, which is not something I want to know about one of my husband's friends. I really do like her and she is a good friend but this really bothers me and I don't know how to sidestep the conversation without just telling her not to talk about it. Ideas? Anyone else out there with friends like this?
Re: What do you do when friends share TMI??
Let's practice conversations. You tell us how the dialogue gets to that point.
If the conversation is, "Wow, I made such a great lasagna last night," and she says out of nowhere her BF has a huge wanker, you go like this:
"I'm sorry? Did you just say what I think you did? Why are you telling me that?"
If the conversation trails off to the TMI because you're talking about sexual stuff as well, even if it's not as detailed as she's sharing, then stop talking about it.
It's perfectly acceptable to say, "I'm really glad you trust me enough to talk about stuff like this, and I'm glad you're so compatible with John, but I'm uncomfortable knowing these things about him."
In my opinion, there are things that need to stay sacred. It's one thing to say you're lacking intimacy, things have been off, ask a friend what she does to keep things active in their relationship, but once you start talking size, position, play-by-play accounts of the action, you've gone too far. The people I've known who were oversharers like that were normally the ones who got cheated on or cheated on their SO...it's like a symptom of a greater issue, not comprehending boundaries.
I changed my name
I changed my name
Yeah I think I would say "WOW...TMI" and just say that you are not comfortable talking about that. I mean color me a prude but I really don't get into that level conversations with girls I have been friends with for 15 years.