September 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
My FB fiasco...unabridged
In case you're bored, here is the transcript from the throw down with SIL. I'm not sure if you guys could see me posting on her status or not.
Well, you guys wanted some dramz...sorry it has to come from me.
Re: My FB fiasco...unabridged
Seriously!!! The person who said they couldn't give an eff about the Casey Anthony trial or the verdict!! Wow!! I sure as hell hope God isn't kind on your judgement because that's a pretty fucked up thing to say and it's things like that that make this country the way it is today. WOW! I really can't believe someone would just come out and say something like that over a murder of a innocent child!!
ME: You're allowed to say my name you know. My opinion isn't any more inflammatory than all the people saying she needs to burn in hell for what she did. And for the record, it's over the trial and verdict....NOT the murder of the child
SIL:Well whatever the case you are entitled to your own opinion as anyone else. But whenever you say something like that it lights a fire under my ass like it would if anyone else would say it. You should care about the verdict because God for...bid somewhere down the line someone you know would be on trial for something they didn't do and get convicted OR if something happens to someone you know and you know the person did it and they are found innocent. The system is screwed up. And when someone says they don't care...well you should. Because it will come up and bite you in the ass!
ME: And no, I don't have to care about the verdict because when you take someone to trail based on a media frenzy and not enough (or anything other than circumstantial) evidence you give the defendant the perfect chance to get off. I completel...y agree that the legal system is screwed up. To be honest with you I don't agree with plea bargains either. And I have been a "victim" thank you very much. Luckily I didn't have to testify because the pervert pleaded guilty, but because he plead guilty, he got the minimum sentence and will be paroled in another 2-3 years instead of getting the maximum sentence of 25 years. So for you to say it'll "bite me in the ass" is pretty crass of you not knowing what I've been through. You shouldn't assume, you know.
SIL: Whatever Mallory. I don't agree with half the things you say half the time. Sorry for whatever happened to you BUT whatever did should have made you want to care. But I guess that's just the difference between us. But don't try to turn this... around on me and make me look bad. I'm just stating it's wrong to state what you did and your just proving me right that people like you exist. It's a matter of caring...I do! End of story.
MIL: Play nice girls! Love you!
SIL: And Mom there is no such thing when it comes to beliefs
ME: There is such a thing as playing nice when it comes to beliefs; it's called being respectful of others' opinions even when they don't agree with your own. In no way was I trying to turn it around and make you the bad guy. You're entitled to your opinion as I'm entitled to mine whether we agree with each other or not. There is no "right" or "wrong" here....it's an opinion, not a fact.
SIL: Oh yes, you're entitled to your opinion as everyone is like I said. But I will never agree to the fact that you're "right" because that's where morals come in to play. I'm done talking about it with you because there really is no getting through and seeing eye to eye. It's just something we won't agree on.
ME: Ok, where the hell, did I say I was right and you were wrong???? Reread my last post, there is no right or wrong, only opinion. We don't have to agree and I'm fine with that, but to call me out and attack me personally instead of rationally... defending YOUR opinion--that's just plain nastiness. And morals also have nothing to do with it; values and beliefs, maybe, but not morals. People can have the same morals, beliefs, and values but still differ on their opinions. That's why they're called opinions and not facts. There IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG. You know what if she was found guilty I wouldn't care either. And if that makes me a cold-hearted ***, then fine. I'll own it.
SIL: You didn't say I was right or wrong I was just stating a fact or if you want to an 'opinion'. I'm done with conversation with you. And YES morals have EVERYTHING to do with it and if you don't see that than God help you. Also if you want to... bring it up your values and beliefs are pretty messed up as well. You are just as thick headed as me and we are never going to agree. So I'll just agree to disagree. So I suggest you stop writing back because I will continue to be nasty and defend MY opinion.
ME: All right, my last comment: And I'm going to bullet point it for your because I don't think you know what you're arguing about anymore.
~You AREN'T stating a fact, you are stating an opinion. Fact: known to exist and be proven true; Opinion:... a personal view or attitude. Your "fact" became an opinion as soon as you said anything other than being aghast at what I posted. All of the "God help poor Mallory and her sad, pathetic existence" posts are OPINION and you can't call them fact.
~In an opinion there is no right or wrong, because it's not a fact. Which is why morals have nothing to do with it, because morals concern the rules of right versus wrong conduct. And to say my comment was "morally wrong" or I have no morals because I don't care to watch a media driven circus surrounding the murder of an innocent child, which turns the perpetrator into a pop culture figure greater than OJ Simpson is pure ridiculousness.
~And once again you are attacking me personally instead of sticking to the issue at hand; bet you sucked at debate team. I understand why you get so incensed at my comment because you followed the case and had a strongly formed opinion and were upset when it didn't turn out the way you thought it would, but to tell me my morals, values, and beliefs are messed up IS making you look like the bad guy. You don't know my values, morals, or beliefs thus you can't accurately comment on them.
~ I have no problem agreeing to disagree. I do it a lot because---like you said--we are both thick headed and stick to our guns like nobody's business. Not anywhere have I said one of us were right or wrong or tried to change your opinion. I respect your opinion and if you respect me as a person you should respect mine, whether we agree or not. I would have just appreciated you coming out and telling me you didn't agree with me than posting a passive aggressive status calling me out like you can't talk to me as a normal person because you have to follow the social media crowd. Which is why I haven't responded to anyone else commenting on this post, but you. Because I am talking to YOU, not the peanut gallery (who, by the way are also entitled to their opinions and how they feel).
~And with that, I don't want our difference of opinion here to affect our relationship. I do love you like a sister even though we aren't blood related. I DO respect you as a person and hope that by us agreeing to disagree you don't go again and passive-aggressively call me out. I have no issues with you or your opinion on what happened yesterday. I just don't agree with you on this: that because I don't care about the fiasco that was the Casey Anthony trial/verdict that I'm a bad person dismissing the loss of a little girl. I'm not saying AT ALL that I don't care about the little girl. I'm just sick of hearing about her freaking mother and the sensationalized infamous "celebrity" she's become. Without the media storm surrounding it and people calling out "Justice for Caylee!!" maybe the prosecution could have had time to prepare a decent argument and actual get her convicted if she did kill her daughter. (And I say if, because, like OJ--we all know she either did it or had something to do with it, but because of the aquittal can't call her guilty.
SIL: First of all DON'T give me definitions of words....theres your first mistake!!!! Don't EVER do that again!!! I am not stupid and I know what the hell I am talking/arguing about. I said end it. I respect you and even though you have no idea ...how bad right now I want to seriously go off, I'm an adult and I am letting that little girl rest in peace and ending this right now and not giving anymore satisfaction to you or anyone else by continuing this conversation. I hope you would do the same. (and the good part is, MIL *liked* this comment)
MIL: Okay listen enough iis enough. First off Kimmy knows the definition of Opinion, and fact, she is NOT stupid, second off God forbid it was Kimmy's kid that came up missing and the media was all over it and the person got away with the crime,... and someone posted they could care less about the verdict you would be upset. Because that is your niece and or nephew. You did a debate team Mallory, Kimmy did not, she just sticks up for the beliefs that I have instilled in her as her mother, which is to care about other people. I am not saying you don't but I think this has gone on to much. Danny said he did not want anymore posts about this since there was problems coming from it. I know you are set on your opinion as well as Kimmy Ann is. I do not feel the way you do about it, I feel the way Kimmy does about it. And I will stand up for my beliefs on this 100%. I for one do not sit on my hands and do nothing about what happens in the world I make calls to legislators, governors, the white house over stuff like this, and if others would do this as well maybe the laws would change. People need to care about what goes on in this world and try to make it a better place for our children, not sit on their hands and do nothing. We are very upset over this, I know when you don't get involved and follow a story you know nothing about what is going on. I was involved in this and I made my mind up that she was guilty when her daughter was missing for 31 days and she never reported it, what kind of mother would do that? Sure in the hell not me!!! My kid is missing for 10 minutes I am screaming for help. So it is not that we do not know what we are talking about, you yourself said you did not follow this story. We are a family, and we should not be acting like this. Kimmy and Danny are brother and sister and you are Danny's wife, so lets cut it out. There is no reason to try to make anyone look as if they are stupid, or call anyone out, so I want it to stop now.I love you both very much.
ME: Never intended to make anyone feel stupid. But she kept saying that everything she said was "fact." It's not. I kept trying to end it. My issue has nothing to do with your or Kimmy's opinion on the trial/verdict. It has to do with Kimmy calling me out instead of doing what you did and calmly stating her opinion on my status. THAT is what is uncalled for and why I'm upset about this.
SIL: Forget it....Mallory you because you always have to have the last word and you think you know every damn thing....THIS STATUS IS DELETED!!!!!!!
ME: I really want to know where you think I know every damn thing. And it would be rude of me to not reply to your mother. Especially when she is trying to keep the peace.
WOW.
You said Danny also posted a status...anything from that?
Nope. Only MIL thinking he is "backing" her opinion.
They all think my status is about "yay, she got acquitted! Screw her dead little baby!!" When it's NOT about that at all but, the fact that I just didn't care to follow the case, trial, or care about the verdict. Really, how can you care about the verdict if you didn't follow the case?
And, my whole anger issue isn't even about the trail. It's about SIL's passive aggressive attack. Apparently no one understands that either.
Does this math suggest that she only doesn't agree with you 1/4 of the time? Seems so. That's favorable for you.
OH, and she still hasn't deleted her status....surprise, surprise.
I'm saving a transcript of it to my computer in case someone gives Danny a call. Which I'm sure will happen as well.
I thought about that too. Apparently her math is as good as her arguing ability.
FWIW, I totally understand and I agree with you. While I think she is guilty, I thought there was enough doubt to aquit her after just watching the 48 Hours Mystery episode and not even seeing much of the trial.
I agree that your SIL is being ridiculous and I took the things she said as a personal attack on you as well.
Although, it sounds like your SIL doesnt fall far from the passive aggressive-personal attack when you dont agree- tree. I also think its funny that your MIL felt the need to defend her daughter when her daughter started the attack!
Yeah.
She just posed this bit too: "Oh, that's the only thing your being rude on...hmmm had me fooled!"
I'm tempted to call her, because this is getting WAY out of hand, but I don't want to NOT have proof of what I say....because Lord knows it'll get turned around on me. It always does.
ETA: Did just call her. She didn't answer. Another huge surprise.
ETA2: Just sent this text to Danny, because right now, I'm pretty livid. "Ok, I made one more comment and it pissed your sister off even though I didn't intend it to. Then your mother got involved pretty much sticking up for SIL and saying I'm wrong. So now, I'm completely done. And if anyone says something to me about it they are getting defriended, family or not. I'm sick of being personally attacked."
Thank you for your condolences. I'm just waiting for this all to blow up in my face. Danny does share the same genes and when he gets mad over petty drama he gets mad at everyone involved regardless of who is right/wrong.
I should have just let him handle it, but when I'm being personally attacked, I can't play the passive aggressive game like he and his family can. I'll out and out tell you you've pissed me off. And apparently those aren't the rules!!
Thanks. I'm going to need it. Maybe 3 or 4 more.
Ditto! Damn girl, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I can't imagine having to deal with those people the rest of my life!
updated 10.03.12
We may have to make Danny a shirt/jacket as well....He just called me and told me: "I'm sick of this *** and I'm going to take care of it. Don't do anything else on FB and if either of them says anything to you, defriend them. I'm going to call my mom and SIL and get this *** sorted out. You shouldn't be attacked personally because of someone's damn opinion."
My white knight in shining armor. *swoon*
Danny to the rescue !!
I honestly don't know how you deal with that crap. Your MIL & SIL get a serious
from me.
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
I know. I really had no issues with my ILs until AFTER we got married. When MIL called Danny and lied to him about something I didn't say, I lost respect for her for a time, but she has been trying hard to regain that respect. And I even told Danny last night that I appreciated how his mom stated her opinion on my status (her opinion and her facts to back it up, and not being totally controversial about it) and was happy she was trying so hard. Then today she turns around and screws up again. OH!! Andplusalso, she slept in this morning (she works summer school) and the teacher (who is a friend of mine) called me and asked if I knew where she was b/c she was a no call/no show and they couldn't get ahold of her. I got worried, because she has heart problems and has been complaining about numbness in her left hand (and won't go to hospital)---I though she had and effing heart attack on her way to work and jumped out of bed to go driving through the country to find her. And this is how she treats me.
And SIL is a whole other bucket of hot mess. She is having personal problems within her marriage and is a bitche to everyone now because of it. This is the very first time she has EVER done anything to even remotely make me angry. There are several things she does that I don't agree with but there has never been any type of personal attack. I even had a conversation with Danny last month about how since SIL loves kids so much that when we have a baby and I go back to work, maybe we can pay her to nanny---which is a testament to how well we got along--now I'm not sure I even want her anywhere near my future kids.
I don't get people like that. I really don't.
What would happen if I innocently posted this to your FB?
updated 10.03.12
I should have known you could play the passive aggressive game...
But seriously, I'm sure it would shoot down anything Danny would do for me, so I'm going to play by his rules and keep my mouth shut for awhile. Hopefully someone will piss me off and I can hit that defriend button.
And FWIW, I think that is absolutely hilarious. PPH you.
Go Danny! Team Mallory! People are crazy, I swear. I'm sorry that it went down like that.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
This makes me really thankful my MIL is not on facebook.
As you already know, I have been wearing my "Team Mallory" jersey.
My Acme Box last update 3/28/11
Speaking of Passive-Aggressive...
updated 10.03.12
HAHA awesome!
ETA: Not awesome in the sense that she doesn't care about her daughter... But I would hope you knew what I meant.
My Acme Box last update 3/28/11
Now see, Nat, it's comments like that and people like you that make the world the way it is today. God forbid something like that should happen to you or YOUR family!!!!!!!!111111.1!!1 times eleventy billion!!!!11!~!1!11!!1