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How old is too old???
What is the oldest you would want to be when you have a baby (first, last, whatever)? I'm asking this b/c my friend who is 41 just found out she's pregnant. First of all this girl is used to going out about 3 times a week. Smokes a pack a day, and has been with her BF for 5 months (they just moved in together 2 months ago). So she has alot of other factors going on too.
She called the day she found out and was kinda freakin out, so being the token pregnant friend, I tried to talk to her and give her some info.
But it made me think........
I don't know if I could handle being 41 and having my first kid! (I don't think there's anything wrong with it though!!)
Age alone, makes her "high risk". I gave her an extra copy of What to Expect when Expecting and she told me she's not going to read it anymore or anything else b/c it told her last night that women over the age of 40 have a 1:100 ratio for a Down Syndrom child.
Thoughts?
Re: How old is too old???
My aunt was 40 with her first and only pregnancy. It was what she wanted to do. She was well established in her career and had everything she wanted and had done all the traveling and all that.
I started at 18. I would like to be done by 28 but who knows how that's going to work out. E will be graduating right before I turn 37, I would like all of my kids ideally out of my house by 45.
yeah I agree. To me, it just sounds exhausting having a baby after 40. Like you, I want to be done by the time I'm 40. I guess my other thought is that I want to be "young" enough to enjoy my grandkids. I don't want to be 80 when grandkids get into the picture. Maybe thats just because I never got to really enjoy that long with my own grandparents and I want be able to see my own kids grow up and have their kids (or not! Just to see them enjoy their life!)
Said Friend found out early Sunday morning, so she called Dr's office right away on Tuesday. I think what gets me though is that she said "ignorance is bliss" about the literature out there for women over 40 having babies. I mean, I would want to know the risks. Even if you can't do much to prevent them, it's nice to know........ But then again I'm a freakish planner and like to know things and be prepared.
That sounds like a good plan!
I also told said friend, that it was obviously supposed to happen for a reason, otherwise it would have happened not at all, or earlier in life!
I never really thought about it before Baby Q came around, but I concur with this. Ideally, sooner, maybe 35 or so. Especially b/c K is 8 years older than me - so he'll already be close to retirement by the time the babies are ready for college...and his family doesn't really have a history of longevity, so I'd like to have more 'us' time than just the 4 years already in the books.
On a somewhat related note, I think I'm hanging in there pretty good right now, not being overly exhausted all the time, but I'm dreading going back to work. Now I can nap with the baby in the afternoons, sleep til 8 or 9 am after getting up to feed him at 3...I'm afraid I'll be a zombie once I'm also working 40 hours a week...
When I was young I wanted to be done having kids by 30. Well inless we are one and done that will not happen. (I will turn 30 about a month after giving birth) I would say I want to me done by my mid 30's, we only want 1 more so that shouldn't be a big problem.
I would never have children in my 40's and kinda side eye people who do. This is VERY judgey/flamable I am fully aware of this. My reasoning is that I lost my mom when she was 47 she had me at 22 so I was 25 when she passed. I know 47 is not even close to average age of death or even close to it. I know how hard it was/is for me. I even look at my age and think well if I die at the same age then my child will be only 17. It's very weird and I know I am not explaining myself well.
This actually makes sense to me and I'm sure lots of others who have lost parents can relate.
When I told J that our friend was preggers, his face when blank (I could tell the wheel was turning and he was thinking something!). Then he said, "So when her kid is graduating highschool, she'll be almost 60!
It makes sense though. Things happen, and they will continue to happen regardless of age. However, more health related issues come up with age. I wouldn't want something like that to take me away from a child who isn't even 18 yet!
You can do it!!!!!
How long will you have been on leave?? I'm starting to look into my options at work and I think I'm going to be stuck with just 6 weeks. 
Kinda breaks my heart and I don't even have a baby here yet!
Once you get closer, are you going to have "trial run" days where you get up and try to get ready, etc. like you will need to when you go back to work? (Or also, not allow yourself naps, and things like that).
my mom had me at 40 and my sister at 41. my dear friend's mother had her at 44. both of our mom's were very active in our lives until we were out of the house. my mom has health issues (arthritis) that prevent her from doing some stuff, but she is still and always has been a fabulous mom regardless of her age. i think with a lot of medical advances, 40 - 42 is not that crazy any more.
however, with all of that said, if i were to wait ten years to have kids, my parents would be near 80 when they became grandparents, which they do not like to think about. but neither do i. fortunately, i do not plan on waiting 10 years to get pregnant.
i feel like the most ideal age for me to have kids is between 30-38. So i have time. i also think that realistically it will happen around the time i am 30, so 3 more years.
but i would never side eye anyone who got pregnant at 41.
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I'll be 35 in March. I'm not pregnant and I don't plan on being pregnant in the next year. I'm tired now thinking of being up at night, so that spells doom for any future baby having. LOL
That being said, as long as it's medically viable for you to have a child, I say go ahead. And these days, with the advancements in the medical field and the different hormones we ingest in our lives and the extended life expectancy, 40 really isn't that old to have kids anymore.
I'm much more concerned with people having children who can't afford them than people being 40 and having kids.
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Totally agree with all of this.
I'm almost 29, K is almost 36. We're enjoying our time together - actually having free time, and being able to travel and go out late and sleep in. I don't see us having any kids in the foreseeable future. If we have kids, I have a feeling it will be late in life babies like 8-12 years from now. But then again, K will be so old, I don't know...
How old is too old for a guy??
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
This might sound young but I want to have 2 and only 2 kids by the time I am 30. My parents had my brother when they were 25, and me when they were 27 and I thought that was a perfect age.
Let's just say me and H better keep working on that!!
Total time off will be 17.5 weeks...1.5 before baby and 16 after baby.
At the very least I'll be getting up earlier...not sure how K & I are going to split bedtime & 3am feedings so I'm sure it'll be a work in progress for a while.
My dad was 50 (closer to 51) when I was born. It wasn't so bad. He was semi retired and stayed home with me while I was growing up. I was able to experience a lot more than my DH did as a kid because we had the freedom to travel, go fishing, etc. whenever we felt like it. On the other hand he has had so many health issues in the last few years that it really is tough. My friends still have very active parents and it is hard for my dad to do anything.
My mom was 36 when I was born. I think it was a good age. She is still active and we do a lot of things together.
DH and I don't particularly want kids, but if we come around I would like to have them in our 30s (we are 24, 25 now). The only downside there is my potential kids probably will never know my dad.