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Family + politics = disaster.
I make a point of not speaking to family within 7 days of an election. However this morning, as I was getting ready to leave for work, my mother called. Our relationship is complex, there is little about the way I have chosen to live my life that she is proud of, but distance has enabled our relationship to remain respectful, if strained.
She called to tell me she is praying for my soul and my husband's soul, because as Obama voters we are destined to go to hell. Because of "infanticide." I tried to deflect and say we had both voted on issues we considered important, but she wasn't having it. She said:
"I'm happy for the black people, but this is the most important issue in the world, and you are all killing babies."
She went on to tell me that 4,000 abortions are performed daily in IL (which I don't believe to be true, since that is the figure I often hear quoted for the entire nation).
Then she started ranting about the "crisis pregnancy center" that she volunteers at (since she hasn't had a job since 1981) and how all of the women who come there being "abortion minded" are black. I remind her that the city she lives in, and the neighborhood in which the center is located are both primarily black. She responds with: "They've been brainwashed, they survived slavery and now they're killing their children."
Again I try to deflect and say we both vote based on different issues and we ought to respect each others' opinions. But in the end I just had to hang up. She doesn't respect me, my career or my life because I'm not a stay-at-home mom, who is a pro-life activist on the side. And I think I'm ok with that, because I like my life, a lot.
Re: Family + politics = disaster.
Wow. I'm sorry. That's essentially the line I got from my cousin last week (without the blatant life judgments): Obama is killing babies, and if you vote for him, you're killing babies too.
Tough to deal with, and I have no good advice. Just wanted to empathize. And also, I bet you have a pretty cool life
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
I'm thinking my mistake was answering the phone. In another week she would have successfully suppressed her rage and we would have had a polite conversation
.
Oh well, life would be boring if we didn't have families full of crazies...
Hopefully Thanksgiving (when my parents and the liberal in-laws and assorted grandparents and siblings are coming to our house) will go well.
Ugh. I am really sorry. My MIL is a one issue voter on the life issue as well (though labor unions and illegal immigrants are issues #2 and #3), so we have heard everything from "Obama supports infanticide" to "Obama looked like Hitler at that convention with all those people supporting him." She called yesterday to express her rage, but she found solace in Prop 8 passing (she voted for it).
There's really nothing we can do to change her mind. My husband just says as little as possible, and tries to change the subject. If he tries to engage, somebody ends up hanging up the phone on the other person, and it's just not good. It sucks, and Thanksgiving will suck because she'll be complaining about it.
Perhaps we can have a post-Thanksgiving vent-a-thon.
my read shelf:
Gah! I am sorry, that is horrible.
I know that one thing that really gets to me is the "I will pray for you becuase..." line to try and make you feel bad.
Please, save your prayer for someone that really needs it.