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Time to be out with it...
So this is what's been going on...I know this is going to possibly be flammable, which is OK. But please know that I know what I'm doing.
I'm back to working for MIL part time, and have another part time job at an engineering firm which I LOVE. Here's how it went down...
For those who remember, I quit working for MIL because there was too much negativity and toxicity. Shortly thereafter, I found a job at a local law office. Several months after I was hired, the attorney decided to move his office to SoCal and invited his staff to come with if they chose. I politely declined, and therefore was essentially out of a job. During my search, which wasn't going well, our savings was being depleted fast...the same savings to buy a house with. I was given the opportunity to work during tax season for MIL on a temporary basis, and to help clean up some bookkeeping projects. When I came back, everything was different. It was a lot better, but I was still guarded. Right when I was about to quit again, we found out we were PG. I panicked and decided to stay with MIL's company because I didn't think I could find a job where they would want to hire a pregnant woman to show her the ropes, only to be out for 6-8 weeks shortly after her hire. I was looking very actively and MIL knew that, but as my due date grew closer and I got to about 30 weeks, I stopped looking. Then the baby was born, and I went on maternity leave early, which was fine even though it was the middle of tax season.
About a week before I was supposed to come back, MIL asked me what my plans were in regards to either jumping in full time, or coming back part time and working my way up. I said I wanted to jump right in. I've got bills to pay and a family to help support. She sent me an email (actually she sent it to J, but that's a whole different story) from a friend of ours who works at an engineering firm (civil and environmental) looking for a part time admin assistant. I was basically told there wasn't enough work for me to come back full time, which I understood and so now I have two jobs. It's been really nice and honestly the best thing ever for me. I was really afraid for a long time that I wouldn't be able to function in a normal office environment given the crapola MIL pulls since we're all family. Now on top of that, I was given a HUGE client that needs me half a day on the days I'm not at the engineering company. So I'm only at MIL's office a handful of hours every week, which I LOVE. It sucks having two jobs and being away from Scarlett all the time, but MIL allows J and I to have her at the office so either he or I am with her at all times. I feel lucky for that and thankfully we've set boundaries for MIL with the baby which she's tested and we've stood up.
So...now to throw something else in...we're moving. I've been saying for a while that J and I are planning to move to Texas to be near his Dad and so J can go to graduate school at North Texas University, or Texas Christian. We've been putting it off because things have gotten in the way. But we've set a "due date" to move...June 1, 2013. Less than two years. We decided on that date because it's right after J is due to graduate from SF State with his BA in Psychology.
So there...I said it. I knew what I was walking into when I went back to work for MIL and am fully aware that I've shot myself in the foot in that department. Thankfully though, we have almost rebuilt our savings and I'm treating this as a means to an end. In the bottom of my heart, I don't want to leave Cali because it's where I was born and raised, but we don't have the opportunities we have out there. I also know that in the past I complained about MIL a lot on here, and I won't do that this time. I've been standing up to her more and it's felt good.
Re: Time to be out with it...
I don't know much about your history with MIL but it sounds like your eyes are open and you're doing what you need to do for your family. I think that is awesome and as long as it works for you, then go for it! I don't think that it's anything to apologize for.
Deciding to move is hard away is hard but there are so many opportunities outside of CA. We wouldn't be anywhere near where we are now if we lived there. It may turn out to be a fantastic thing for the three of you and if it isn't, you've had the chance to save on living expenses and you can alsways go home. Think of it as an experiment! My NY experiment was only going to be for 1 year. Now, here I am 8 years later.
And lastly, I'm happy that you're standing up for yourself with MIL. Boundries can do wonders. I'm happy for you!
I am so happy for you! One reason because you and J seem to be on the same page in regards to your careers, your MIL, and what is important to the both of you. While you do have to put up with your MIL, it sounds like you have limited that to as little as possible. Plus Scarlett gets to spend her time with you and J. I am jealous I wish I could bring Emme to work with me (and actually get work done). I am excited that you guys have finally set a date to move. You will love Texas. My BFF from high school has lived there most of his life. If it wasn't for DH
I will be sorry to see you go, but I know you will meet lots of new people. Good luck making it to your goal.
I'm sort of amused that you've been hiding the fact that you went back to working for MIL
I don't know why things have changed, but based on your post it sounds like things are much better there this time around. I'm glad that everything work-related sounds so positive for you now, and it sounds like going back to work for MIL was the right decision under the circumstances.
I hope things continue to go well and that you and J keep making such great progress towards your goals!
I can understand why you'd be hesitant to post about your decision, given some of your past posts about her. But, we're not in your shoes. It sounds like you are doing this eyes wide open, and not letting MIL walk all over you anymore, which is FANTASTIC.
Yay for getting the family dynamic back on track, and yay for replenishing your savings!
Good luck with everything L.
Wasn't really trying to hide anything, I wasn't really planning on staying. Then the baby was around so I concentrated on that.
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