Just Curious?

breannashuhart · July 2011

Ok so I got married this past August and my husband is now gone for his deployment...and it really started to sink in today that he will not be home for our first wedding anniversary (and also our 6 year mark the following month) this is the first year he hasnt been with me on an anniversary...and I have no idea what to do on that day without him here with me...has anyone else gone through this? What did you do?

NSL · July 2011

I ordered in Chinese food, wrote DH a long e-mail, and watched a favorite movie. Mostly I tried to focus on the fact that we could really celebrate our anniversary when he got home.

The_Spanish_Inquisition · July 2011

DH and I have been married for 6 years and we've spent 1 anniversary together.

It's tough, but for me, it's just another day. We do what we can on that day, and we celebrate our marriage when we can. We always send cards, and sometimes he will send flowers. We try to call/email if we can.

I handle it the same way I handle all deployments/separations - I stay busy, surround myself with good friends and family as much as possible, and on special occassions that he misses, I give myself a gift - a spa day, or a shopping trip, etc.

I guess it helps that for me, anniversaries are not something I get crazy sentimental over. I'm much more upset over being apart for Christmas than our anniversary, Valentines Day, etc.

mrsredrox · July 2011

My H only missed our first because of training but I just made sure I didn't dwell on the specific date and remembered that there will be many other anniversaries to celebrate. Do something that makes you happy to distract you on those days and don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. It sucks but this is the life we all chose and the best way to deal with this kind of stuff is to make the best of every situation. I like PP's ideas of watching her favorite movie and writing her H a long email. I called my H's phone knowing it would go straight to voicemail so I could leave him a sweet message on that day and it made me feel as if I was almost talking to him.

Pumpkin701 · July 2011

The_Spanish_Inquisition:
DH and I have been married for 6 years and we've spent 1 anniversary together.
It's tough, but for me, it's just another day. We do what we can on that day, and we celebrate our marriage when we can. We always send cards, and sometimes he will send flowers. We try to call/email if we can.
I handle it the same way I handle all deployments/separations - I stay busy, surround myself with good friends and family as much as possible, and on special occassions that he misses, I give myself a gift - a spa day, or a shopping trip, etc.
I guess it helps that for me, anniversaries are not something I get crazy sentimental over. I'm much more upset over being apart for Christmas than our anniversary, Valentines Day, etc.

Pretty much exactly this. He sent me flowers, I sent him an email, we had a quick chat on the phone but that was it. Really though even when he's home, the most we've ever done is gone out for dinner. As long as we each remember what happened on that day and are still happy that it happened, we're good.

Our anniversary is close to the end of the year though, and we start the beginning of every year by doing a vow renewal-New Year's Resolution for our relationship type deal. We talk about what we've changed the past year that we liked and want to keep doing or need to change, what problems we'd like to work on (like going on more date nights, loading the dishwasher every night, etc) and our goals for the year. We started doing it after deployment, but we've talked about how we could do it via skype or letters, or waiting until he's home if it's close to the same time.

Kind of a "I still love you but I realize our relationship has changed and I would be a better spouse to you if I worked on this, that, and this and if we worked on that, this, and that together. And hey, let's make sure we keep making time to do this and that because we both have fun with it and it brings us closer. Go team. Ra Ra Ra"

Boog&Goober · July 2011

It really does sucks, but keeping busy was key for me. My Hubby was gone for our one and two year anniversaries. The first year he was doing some training up in WA so we just talked on the phone. This past year, he was deployed...I went and got him a PSP and some games, told him nothing about it, and mailed it off. Of course my boss gave me off that day, so I just sat around in my jammies and stuffed my face with not so good for me food, watched movies, and talked to him when he did get a chance to call. Just remember, there will always be more to celebrate, and although the first has its special meanings, there will be plenty more.

Mikate81410 · July 2011

DH is deployed and we have our 1st wedding anniversary in August as well, so I'm feeling you on this one. I have already started working on an anniversary care package to send in a couple weeks so it will get there on time. I would say make sure to stay busy, if you have any girlfriends near by maybe plan a girls night to take your mind off of it.

We are waiting until DH gets home to really celebrate, eat the top layer of our wedding cake etc. but I love to make really elaborately decorated boxes because it keeps me busy when I am really missing him and need a distraction and I get to think about how happy it will make him instead of how sad I am.

VeryContrary247 · July 2011

My H is deployed and will miss our second anniversary next month. Aside from sending an awesome care package, I'll probably just treat myself to a mani/pedi and have dinner with my sister to keep my mind off the fact that I'm missing him.

We're planning an awesome trip in honor of our anniversary once he gets back.

Sibil · July 2011

We have 2 anniversaries every year, the jop day and the wedding ceremony day. Including our upcoming 5th anniversary, we've never made both of them together in the same year, either due to training or deployment or who else knows (I honestly forget all the reasons). I'm pretty sure every year we've alternated which one we're together for, not through any planning of our own.

I personally don't think it's that big a deal. I just treat myself to a nicer dinner or bottle of wine than the average. However, I'm also totally ok being on my own and going to dinner by myself.

The first anniversary I sent him one of those holiday baskets from costco with shelf stable fancy cheese and crackers and stuff plus a bottle of non-alcoholic wine.

Kendraish · July 2011

Yes he has been gone for 3 anniversary's and probably this next one as well. Order in some food, and watch a movie. Or treat yourself to a day out shopping or at a spa. I have also went to dinner with friends too.

GhostMonkey · July 2011

Not much really. He got a care package. My gift came in somewhere around that time. That was about it.

The ones we are together for really aren't much different.

iluvmytxrgr · July 2011

We've been married for 4 years. MH has never been here for our anniversary. I usually just spend it like any other day. If he's deployed, I send him a box a few weeks out and fill it with fun stuff. If he's off training, we usually have a Skype date.

OSUWifey09 · July 2011

H and I have been married for two years - both have been spent apart. We did go to Vegas for our honeymoon/anniversary trip after our first anniversary, which was right before H left for BMT. This past anniversary, he was on orders to deploy, so I sent cards and his gift after I got an address. We find ways to make them special, whether or not we're together.

katiebabie8686 · July 2011

My husband was gone for our one year anniversary. I went to lunch with a good friend, had a bloody mary, watched our wedding video, and thanked God he gave me someone like my husband to marry. We celebrated when he got back.

CiciTen · July 2011

We never spent a single anniversary OR birthday with one another until our fourth anniversary of dating (this was before we were married). We would send each other things (like letters or flowers) and call if it was possible, and if not, I would have myself a nice glass of wine and go out with my friends. No sense in wallowing alone when there's not a thing that can be done to change it, that's my motto!

SpunkyBlowfish · July 2011

H was gone on ours too. I scheduled a surgery that day so I literally don't remember much of it. I can say that he was gone the second one as well. This is how we cope/deal/choose to deal with missed holidays and anniversaries - we celebrate them on another day. If he's gone for his bday, I send a card but we do a fun birthday dinner with cake and all that jazz when he gets back. We do the same for any and all holidays. Once year he was gone for a lot holidays and when he returned we planned a week of Thanksmasweendayversary. Neither one of us are "it has to be celebrated on the day or it doesn't count" type of people, so I guess that helps. We plan fun trips and consider those part of our anniversary or birthdays, even if it doesn't occur on the exact day.

As for what to do on the day of if he's not there or vice versa: Like PP, I grab a glass of wine, get a good chick flick and snuggle up with my furry ones. When we were closer to friends, I would go out with the girls for drinks. It's really up to you and what you enjoy.

Just Curious?

Re: Just Curious?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards