Maine Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Moms - how do you not....
resent your husbands when they sleep in? Honestly, I want to let my husband get a day or two to sleep in. But, I'm always really bitter. I think because the mornings I "sleep in", I've already been up once or twice in the middle of the night feeding, so its not like I ever get to really "sleep in".
Re: Moms - how do you not....
Honestly I haven't quite figured this one out yet either. We're very fair about sleeping in though which helps. We BOTH need to sleep in on the weekends, so basically one day DH gets up w/ the kids and stays up 1 hour or so while I sleep extra, then I come out and he sleeps another hour. Then the next day, the person who gets up first switches so we're equal.
I completely agree though that it's hard when you've been up w/ the kid(s) during the night and are exhausted not to lash out at him when he gets up. We have an unspoken agreement that DH gets up to help Jake if he wakes during the night, and I do Katie - it's worked out well and also helps a ton. Otherwise, hang in there. Definitely make sure you get sleep too!
Jake blowing out the candle at Katie's coming home party
Katie Belle
Kristen, Chad, Jake, Katie & Sadie the Wonderdog, est. 6/17/06
This has been really hard for me. Especially since DH works 2nd shift and 'needs' to sleep. (even though I often wait up for him). On days off he says he needs to catch up on his sleep. He says I have the option of going to bed earlier, which he doesn't have. In theory that would be true...but who does all of the cooking and housework? I need to do it after Adrian goes to sleep since I'm not a SAHM. I always wake with the baby at night and I haven't slept in since he has been born, even though I've asked. Ugh. DH claims to be giving and says he'll give me a chance, but the truth is, by the time i work so hard to wake him up in the morning,I'm up. He's not a morning person. It's really reallly hard to not be resentful, especially when he claims he's sooo tired after getting 8 hours of sleep.
Anyway, I'm with you. And this is what helps. I think I have two choices...I can be angry or get on with my life. I try to make a mental choice....would I rather get my way and be right or be happy. It's a daily struggle, but when I choose to not harbor the frustration and focus on something else, we all have a better day. If you figure out a way for me to drag DH out of bed in teh morning, let me know. .
This. Except Helen rarely wakes in the middlle of the night now. So now I get to sleep in on the weekend just because.
Thanks ladies. We went through a tough patch a while ago on the weekends cause during the week I got up everyday at 5:45 and he and Luke would sleep til 8, then on the weekend I would sleep in Saturdays and him Sundays, but it still seemed unfair since in my opinion sleeping til 8-8:30 all week was sleeping in.
He has been really good so far getting up with Luke at 6 or so. But, there are still those days it is ME who wants him to sleep in, but then he sleeps in too long. I'll be up at 5, after being up at 3 and he'll sleep in til 8. When I really want him to get up at 6:30-7 and let me go back to bed. I need to be a better communicator. So, basically I'm a witch that wants to be nice, but on my terms :P
Last night I was up at 3 with Luke - bad dream I think. Then at 5:30 with Sam. So DH let me sleep til 8. I needed it
Our arrangement is similar to Kristen and Megan's. We each get two days to sleep in, one workday where the limit is 9am (although I'm usually up by 8 or 8:30), and one weekend day where the sky is the limit (although I'm again usually up by 8 or 8:30, whereas MH usually sleeps until 10). Tuesdays/Wednesdays we're both up, usually me first, because I have to get the kids ready for daycare and get into the office by 8:30. Of course, since I'm nursing, I take more middle-of-the-night hits, and my "sleeping in" days always involve wakeups to feed Ellie, but that's just the way it is when you're the one with the boobs.
As long as you're nursing, it will never be completely fair, but you've got to come up with a system in the meantime that is as close as possible to fair that works for both of you with as little resentment as possible. There's no room for "being nice" -- just be practical.
Being nice comes after you have an established system with defined expectations. Once that's in place, you can sometimes say, "you look really tired. I'll get up." Or not. Who says nice has to play into it at all? This is survival time!