Hudson Valley Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WDYT: Parents Who Have Affairs
Not hypothetical but not something going on in my home.
A parent is discovered to be having an extramarital affair, spanning several years. This ends said marriage. 2 teen aged kids are still living in the home. Does this make the adulterous person a "bad" parent?
What are your thoughts?
Re: WDYT: Parents Who Have Affairs
I think, yes it makes them bad parents.
If you don't want to be faithful to your spouse anymore, then get divorced. Sure, it sucks for everyone involved, but at least it's honest and fair and gives everyone a chance to move on.
But the sneaking around involved in an affair is a complete violation of trust, not just in the marriage, but in the family as a whole. I think that is much harder to get over and forgive someone for, whether it's your spouse or your parent who does it.
Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
Interesting. I went through the same, except my dad was the culprit. It ruined my family, and we were all damaged in one way or another. Only difference is that it had already been years since I had seen him as a good dad. LOL?
This is happening in a family we know and tomorrow is the cheater's birthday. I feel so sorry for the kids.
I dont think it makes them a bad parent. I believe that it makes them a bad husband/wife for being to cowardly to communicate with their spouse the problem and just having an affair.
I think its important how the huband/wife acts after the divorce. If they continue to be a poor role model then that sucks, But I would hope for their childrens sake they would try to do the right thing. Granted and affair/divorce will affect all relationships but its how you handle those relationships after the fact. The husband/wife should triy to have a good relationship with his/her kids regardless of their mistakes.
(I am not condoning affairs at all)
totally agree!!!! DH's mom had an affair which ended the marriage and the entire family feel apart and the relationship between DH, me and her has only gotten worse over the years.
THIS. I agree that having an affair does not mean they are a bad parent. Although if even after the marriage that parent runs around like a whore/man-whore with every person they find, then yes that can make you a bad parent since that is showing their children a whole different way of life and being a bad influence IMO.
my read shelf:
Because my definition of a parent includes being a good role model, setting a good example and teaching morals and values then, yes, I think it would make that person a bad parent on many levels.
Being the cause of a family breaking up and in doing so, leaving the inevitable fallout qualifies for the above as well.
Canon 50D, Canon 50mm f/1.4, Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8, Speedlite 430EX II
See, this is where I'm coming from. One of my goals as a mom is to protect my child from harm, whether it be by killing a spider or by trying to keep my family intact. In no means am I suggesting that a parent should sacrifice his or her happiness to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of the kids. I get that this person's marriage was lost somewhere for whatever reason but IMO an affair damages a family, moreso than just a divorce. Some couples can recover from an affair, but taking that sort of gamble shows that you are willing to take your chances.