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Manipulating MIL Wants To Be FB Friends
My MIL hates me. It's been known since the beginning of time. Now, she wants to be my FB friend and can't figure out how since I am basically on lock down. We used to be friends when I was dumb and naive, but then she started to talk to DH about what was going on in MY life and judging and manipulating. She loves to gossip and manipulate. It's her trademark.
I put her on limited profile and basically blocked everything. Well, she finally realized this and I told her that I just did not feel comfortable with being friends yet. The only problem is I am friends with her sister, DH aunt, who is totally nice and and always respects me. Well, MIL called me out on this and said, "That's fine, I will just caution you that you are friends with my sister. She is the one who suggested we be friends."
So what do I do now? Block her sister too? I really don't want to grant MIL access to my FB. Sigh. I'm screwed.
Re: Manipulating MIL Wants To Be FB Friends
"Yes, I am friends w/ your sister."
She pushes- "why does she have more access?"
"I give people the level of access I'm comfortable with.".
Her "Then why don't I have full access?"
"Because I'm not comfortable with it".
Her "why not?"
"I'm just not."
You don't owe her anything. You don't HAVE to make her friends just because her sister is.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I have a really hard time taking someone seriously when they complain about FB. Not you, your MIL. People friend and unfriend, people vaguebook and assume you're talking about them...and the smart thing to do is to just go with it. If someone defriends you, it's best not to notice and certainly not to ask.
I think your MIL is crazy for calling you out on it. I can see her complaining to your husband, but not confronting you on something so childish. Do you care if you're friends with her sister? do you think her sister is telling her things? I'd block them both and then tell her you deleted your account or something.
I'd unfriend her completely; and tell her if she asks that it seems like it's all just too upsetting for her and you'd rather not upset her.
Then who are you friends with?
Friends..?
You don't have to friend her.
But I don't get it. I don't use FB to share secrets or anything personal. Its simply a way to keep in touch about the very basic aspects of my life. I don't put anything on there that isn't google-able anyway. So I've never understood blocking people. But, it is 100% your decision. And you are entitled to that. She shouldn't push.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I agree w/ this. I also wanted to suggest that you could also "friend" her if you really wanted, but limit the access to what she can see on your page. You also don't have to explain anything to her - "MIL, I will not discuss my personal relationships or decisions with you."
I agree with most of the above. Just block her and if she continues to bring it up, un-friend her.
The only reason to block the aunt is if she is relaying information to your MIL. I unfortunately had to do this with some people so my MIL didn't have access to me.
You could just have a FB account for 'family' and keep the one that you use with your friends. On the family page I would just upload pictures every once in awhile.
I don't think you are screwed. You can either be perfectly open and honest with MIL why she doesn't have full FB status with you but her sister does. Or just put all family on a single FB account and be done with worrying about people sharing things or whtaever.
wow. im sorry that you have to deal with such a brat of a woman.
may i suggest making two facebooks? one account for "family" and other people you feel guilty about not having as a friend, and the other for real friends and pictures of your life etc. this may be a weird idea but it might work? good luck!!