Military Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Due Date and Deployment
Hi All,
I'm J and I lurk around here a little. I'm usually on the GP boards or the GP Moms boards. We found out a couple of weeks ago that we are expecting. We're very excited; however, DH will not be here for the birth. He's deploying with a different unit which threw his dates. We were already trying and thought about waiting when we got this news, but decided that planning around his career may be an impossible feat. We've already attempted that several times in different circumstances and it just hadn't worked out. Anyone in, or ever have been, in a similar situation? Any advice?
Re: Due Date and Deployment
A friend of mine had their first kid shortly after her husband deployed with mine. She picked a good buddy to be her birth coach, and asked a few of us to help out with other things for the delivery. She and her husband discussed a goodly chunk of what they could before he deployed, and she basically implemented it.
She also hired a doula for the delivery. That might be worth considering, although it might not be an inexpensive option. I think that helped her, too.
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Do some checking around- there may be someone who needs the experience that may do it for free or reduced rates. Start looking early so you have time to look around and get on their schedule- most will not take clients with due dates within a certain range so they don't chance them going into labor at the same time. We had one sit in on out Lamaze class that offered her services to anyone in the class for free (first come, first serve obviously since we were all due about the same time).
Had DH been gone as we thought he was going to be, I likely would have gone this route as well.
I was fortunate that the Army paid to move me where ever I wanted (DH was on a MiTT assignment). I moved to where my parents and my brother, and his family live. I rented my own house (I could not imagine living with my parents at this point in my life!). My SIL agreed to be my labor coach, and was there with me for the c-section. My parents and DH's parents were all at the hospital for LO's birth.
My DH had a personal cell phone while he was in Iraq, so we did not involve the Red Cross at all, even though we had multiple complications. It was nice being able to reach him whenever I wanted (though, I typically waited for him to call me, it was less expensive that way). But, I don't know who decides who is allowed to purchase personal cell phones.
My family was a huge support to me while DH was deployed, I could not have done it alone. So, unless you have family nearby who you can count on, make certain that you have a good support network in place. (Remember these are two-way relationships!)
Now that my son is two, I am thankful to have DH home (he redeployed when LO was nine months). Chasing a toddler is so much more challenging than caring for a baby (though--the newborn stage is very hard, but my parents basically lived with me at that point). It was difficult having DH gone for LO's first nine months, but LO does not know/remember that his Dada was not there.
Best of luck. It's not what anyone wants, but as military spouses, we learn to deal. Embrace the suck!