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Is it the right time to TTC?
Ok, I have a confession. Well, to be honest it's more like a concern. As you all know I'm 35. DH & I both like our life as it is & could go either way with having a child. We have a wonderful child (SD). If we want to get pregnant it's kind of a now or never thing. I wish I was 7 or 8 years yournger & we could take our time but I don't have that luxury. I've always thought that I'd have child(ren) one day but the whole thing is so scary & such a HUGE decision. I don't want to look back & wish we'd had kids but I don't want to have a child just because it's now or never. If we didn't have SD then I know I'd want to get pregnant w/o any hesitation. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm overwhelmed. I'd appreciate any words of advice, encouragement or help. TIA
Re: Is it the right time to TTC?
I think your response to when you thought you may have been pregnant is pretty telling. You seemed really excited about the possibility right? That to me means maybe you're more ready than you think you are.
If you knew you'd want to get pregnant "without hesitation" if there was no SD, why do you have hesitation because of her? It seems to me (and take it with a grain of salt b/c I'm not around kids much) that giving SD a little brother or sister could maybe even be more of a reason TO have another child? Also, your lifestyle is already a little less carefree than someone without a SD, so you would have to make less changes than someone like myself. Another "pro" for TTC in my book!
If I were in your shoes, based on what you have said, I would stop not trying, but maybe not actively TTC with charting and the like. Of course you have to be prepared to get pregnant if you're going that route, but it sort of leaves it in a "what's meant to be will be" arena.
GL!
This exactly. If you really didn't care one way or the other then you wouldn't have been so disappointed.
IMO, there def will be regrets later if you dont....
and children are a complete blessing to a marriage and life not an interferance in any way.
so im all for you having children with dh... good luck to you
What is your concern with your SD? Do you feel like she will feel like she is being replaced? I think that she is close enough to you and is old enough to know that wouldn't happen.
I read somewhere that if you wait until the "right time" to have a child, you'll be waiting forever. It sounds to me that you are more then ready and would be a great full-time Mom!
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Only you and your DH can know if it's the right time for you. But, I believe that there's never a perfect time to TTC, and you'll never be ready. Heck, I'm 38 and have always wanted kids and I still have moments when I wish we could wait longer and I don't feel ready. I wish I had met DH when I was 25 so that we wouldn't have had to start trying right away.
Reading between the lines - I think you want to have a baby. If you didn't, you wouldn't be trying now, you'd be hemming and hawwing. I think you have a very healthy "what happens, happens" attitude.
As far as age goes, I have three friends in their 40s who are pregnant right now, and only one of them needed medical assistance. Even the problems that DH and I are having are on his end, I am pretty fertile for a 38 YO based on how I responded during IVF. But, it does get harder as you get older and fertility treatment is not fun. So, while you don't necessarily have to get pregnant right this minute, it is something to consider.
I was excited when I thought I might be pregnant but I was also worried/scared. When I found out I wasn't I felt, not relived but glad that I had more time to prepre for when I really was pregnant & Yes, there was some dissappointment.
I think that's part of it, may be a big part. That & I just haven't be around a lot of new borns & babies and I guess I'm just scared.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
This is helping alot - thanks
I totally agree with all of this. You will be a fantastic mother...I think we all worry what kind of parent we will be and if we should save up some more money first or travel first. But if you keep pushing it back for those reasons, it'll never happen. There is always going to be a reason to not TTC.....but a beautiful little baby is all the reason in the world that I need
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I completely agree with this! And I know that you really have done an amazing job with your SD with everything so far, and I know that you would also do an amazing job getting her used to the idea of a sibling if you go that route.
I dont really have any advice. I am having my own internal conflict about having kids right now. I know that I want kids someday, but I feel like someday is in the future, not now. But I am 31, so I feel really rushed, and I feel like I need to get moving on this. I just dont have that urge yet, and I have a lot I still want to do (mostly travel). This is not to make this about me, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Good luck, and know that whatever you decide, it will be the right decision (and neither decision is wrong or bad in any way).
Thank you so much for letting me know that you feel the same way. I was feeling bad b/c I wasn't all, "Yippee!! Lets get pregnant NOW!" It's so nice to know that you're right there with me - as are other April Nesties.
Thank you for this - it really makes me feel better & know that what I'm feeling is "normal".
This is why I LOVE this board.
I am with you on this! I am 31 also, technically still have time, but I also worry about waiting too long. But I know that we are definitely not ready. I know there is no "right" time, but now is not a good one. My issue, basically, is that if having a baby meant I could stay home and be a mom and figure out work later, I'd be pregnant today. But that's not my reality, and for now, I'm not ready for the responsibility and the juggling. Not to mention the financial burden. That might sound horrible, but I'm being honest.
Georganne, you are probably overthinking it, like I am doing
If you can have a "we'll see what happens" attitude about TTC, then just continue along and don't stress yourself over it.
I think you're right with both of these statements.
So, I'll go on the Clomid if the doctor still thinks that's what we should do after the bloodwork & Ultrasound are done & whatever happens is meant to be.