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WWWWD?
Sorry, this seems to be family drama day.
So we obviously don't get along with FIL. The only person who really knows the extent of it all is my SIL and her DH. They are in the same boat as us. Anyways, my older SIL gets along with FIL. I do like older SIL but we absolutely nothing in common. You know how with some people things are just awkward when you speak, like there is no flow? Yeah, that's how it is with her.
Last year older SIL and I went out to lunch as part of her making amends in her 12 step program. We decided that we'd do it every year. Well, the time is coming around and she emailed me today about it. As much as I do want to be her friend, it's very forced. Additionally, with the FIL drama she's bound to find out and I'm not really in the mood to discuss it. It's not her business and I don't think she'd fully understand it all since she's on his side most of the time.
So yeah, would you do lunch? BS and make awkward conversation praying that the drama llama gets lost and doesn't show up? Or decline politely? Or am I not making any sense because I have gotten like no sleep lately because I am too busy with work?
Smooches.
Re: WWWWD?
DED @ "smooches"
I don't know, that's a tough one. I'd want to maybe go and try to get through the lunch. It will be good for your relationship, and good for her symbolically (b/c of how it started). But I'm not sure how to avoid/poopoo the talk of FIL w/ someone you have a hard time talking to anyway.
for a once a year thing, i would go.
as for fil, it's not her business and it's not hers to understand. just refuse to discuss it. it's something you and dh are dealing with privately, good day.
I figure it's lunch so hopefully it won't be too bad. I'm going to talk to DH about it though.
Ditto others. Just remember, you only do this once a year.
Also, bring cash.
If she brings up FIL and won't let it go, drop enough cash on the table to cover your meal and roll out. That would be awesome.
I would go, just because it's important for her program (that is, if you care about that stuff). but get some excuse ready along with exact change, so you can get out of there before talk goes to FIL.
Maybe even think of some things to talk about in order to avoid FIL chatter, as well as to keep the conversation going. if FIL comes up, tell her that your husband is dealing with it, you wash your hands of the situation - so she knows that she can't talk about it.