Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Keeping kids for a week?

My aunt and uncle both have business trips at the same time and need someone to keep their 3 kids (14, 13 and 8) for a week.  I love my cousins, but they are not the best behaved and I know keeping them for a week will be some serious work.  My aunt asked if I'd be interested to fly in (on her dime) and keep the kids while they are gone.  I'm not working right now, but I do plan to be studying for the GRE at that time. I know I won't get the level of studying done if I'm babysitting them.  She didn't mention pay.  My husband will be taking the bar during that same week and I am torn about not being there to cook him dinner and rub his shoulders each evening.  My husband thinks that it would be more worth my while if I was paid on top of just the plane ticket.  Something to the tune of $400-500.  Does that seem fair to ask? 

Obviously finding someone local would be cheaper... no plane ticket cost and I'm not sure about going rate for a babysitter where they live but I'm family and she knows she can trust me with her kids and home, also its good cousin bonding time.  I figure that rate is pretty good since its 24 hours a day... What do ya'll think?  Is it okay to ask for compensation?  Is $400-500 a reasonable price for keeping kids for a week? 

We're going to second-line into the New Year! Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: Keeping kids for a week?

  • Just tell her you cant do it.

    Tell her you have to be availible to rub your H's shoulders.



  • i'd probably say no to begin with.

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • I think that $500 is way too much to ask.

    If you don't want to do it, then just tell her no.

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I would either do it and not ask for furthe compensation, or just decline and say you have to study that week.

  • I would never ask family for money in return for my help.  Decline if you're not willing to help out because you certainly shouldn't help someone if its not worth your while.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I'd say no. 

    I actually did this in grad school during Spring Break one year. My cousins (twins) were 10 that year. They behaved very poorly and I got nothing done that I needed to that week, e.g. you won't get any GRE study time in. 

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • I'd be shocked to dedicate a week of my life for child care for 3 children and not be paid at least $500.

    Are these children involved with any activities? Like camp or anything organized? Are you cooking and cleaning, too? Full meals or ordering pizza? When do you think you'll be studying?

    I think you have to thoroughly investigate expectations and compensation.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • imagelivinitup:

    I'd be shocked to dedicate a week of my life for child care for 3 children and not be paid at least $500.

    Ditto this.  Family or not, they are asking for a HUGE favor. HUGE.  Paying for your ticket is a given - they should absolutely be offering to pay you too for your time.

     

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • IMO, if your Aunt & Uncle didn't put compensation attached to the request along with the reimbursed plane ticket, then they have no plans on actually paying you (or are just *hoping* that you won't ask).  Flat out asking them would be awkward & presumptious.  Although I agree w/you that you should indeed be compensated for your time as that is a HUGE responsibility and a great burden you are taking off of their shoulders, family & money is tricky.

    Something about this scenario screams disaster.  I would just decline.  Focus on your DH and both of your priorities.  If you feel that your presence at home w/him will enhance his chance of doing better on the Bar exam, then do that.  Plus, you're right, you will probably get little to no studying accomplished if you're away and unless you have a week to throw in the toilet with that, I'd say you're better off giving that your full attention.

  • If she didn't mention compensation, bringing it up would be awkward.  I would just politely decline.
  • I would not ask for compensation.  Say no if you don't want to do it.  That said, i would probably welcome the escape if you H is studying for the bar.  When MH was studying, he wanted to be left alone and had no interest in anything but studying.  I offered to cook, but he welcomed the break to go grab food and went right back to studying.
  • I would not ask for compensation unless she asks you to name a price for your time.

    We are going on vacation for my sister's DW next June.  Our nanny is staying with DS for 4 nights for $1k. 

    But, she's our employee, so I think that's a little different. 

  • Thanks for the advice.  After reading ya'lls replies and thinking it over, I'm just going to politely decline.  Its just too awkward to discuss money with family.  Since I'm not even sure how to broach the subject, it probably means that I shouldn't even go there.

    Besides after supporting DH through 3 years of law school and an agonizing summer of bar prep work, it would kill me not to be there to celebrate with him when its all over.  Its worth it to stay and focus on my own thing.  Plus I've already seen her kids twice this summer and will see them again next month for a family vacation.

    I do think its audacious of her to not offer pay, esp knowing that her and her husband both make 6 figures and that she knows just how little DH and I have, but that's my aunt... I just have to love her and remind myself that everyone handles money differently.  


     

    .  

    We're going to second-line into the New Year! Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards